FlyLady Ezines 2019

[SAR01]

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[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

It is always good to get away for a weekend with your friends. We travel a lot but not often just for pleasure. In May we decided to attend a Conference in Atlanta. This could be considered continuing education for all of us because the foundation theme of the conference falls in line with Finally Loving Yourself!

We laughed and cried! We found a new use for the purple rags. They are a great hanky for those purple puddles. It was so much fun to be together. After Atlanta we headed to Fort Campbell to speak to the Military Spouses.

I love to meet the husbands and wives of our brave soldiers. We have never had such great audience participation during our question and answer sessions. After we left Fort Campbell, we stopped to have dinner with an old friend from my hometown.

On the way home we decided to not listen to music! This was not a conscious decision. The subject of having a pajama day came up. This is a foreign concept to me. Since 1999 I have been getting up and getting dressed to lace up shoes within fifteen minutes of my feet hitting the floor. I have not stayed in my pajamas unless I was too sick to get out of the bed. I have not ever been that sick. If I get up; I get dressed. Let me tell you a little story!

We knew we were going to get home very late. My crew was already planning their pajama day. We finally go into bed about 3:00 am. I slept until 10:30 and decided to stay in my pajamas until noon. Wow this is so hard to do. As I am writing this I am twitching. It feels uncomfortable to me.

At noon I went back to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed. I thought well I just wait to get dressed. Here it is 2:30pm and I still have on my pajamas. I keep checking the front door to make sure no one is coming to our home. Now I just realized that I have not taken my daily supplements. The bed is not made and my bathroom has not been swished and swiped. I forgot my coffee and the floors need dust mopped. Wow I don't like this feeling that I have forgotten something.

I believe that it is time for me to stop this silly experiment and begin this day again! We can start our day over at any time. Many of my automatic habits are piggybacked on my basic habit of getting up and getting dressed to shoes! I am headed back to bed so my feet will hit the floor running. I just realized this is like remembering your social security number. When I have to tell someone the last four digits of my number; I have to start at the beginning.

Ready Set Go!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Not all of us are mothers, but we have all been mothered by someone. That mother could have been a father, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, next door neighbor, your sister or brother or in some cases a foster parent or a teacher. Somebody took care of you or you would not be here.

Whoever it was that mothered you; helped to mold you to who you are today. I am thankful for all the mothering that I received or did not receive. As children, my sister Paddi and I took over a mothering role at an early age. We were very blessed to have a grandmother who taught us by her example.
Granny was born organized. As a result she couldn't sit still. She was always puttering. Some people are just like this. We sidetracked people have had born organized people in our lives. This is not a bad thing or a good thing, but it can be if.

Some puttering comes from not ever thinking that anything is clean enough. Does that sound like perfectionism to you? When this kind of puttering is partnered with mothering the result could be a child that is not prepared for adulthood. The child is not ever expected to clean. Mainly because it is already done; the born organized person just does it without even thinking about it. It just gets done and they don't even realize it that they are doing it. It is hard for them to teach puttering because it comes naturally to them. It is just easier for them to do it than to fuss about it not being done. But this is not a conscious thought on their part. Our Granny was like this! There is not a mean bone in her body. She was just born organized. I had never heard her complain about anything; even though she is a worry wart.

Our mother was not prepared for adulthood; she needed someone to take care of her. Paddi and I became our mother's mother even though we didn't know how to do this. Granny taught us how to clean. She showed us how by her example; how to shine our sinks, sew, lay out our clothes, clean as we go when we cook, wash day, errand day and many other things. We hear her voice in our minds and in our writing: Pretty is as pretty does, Can't never could do anything, If you do right, God will take care of you and a place for everything and everything in its place. But it is her actions that speak loudest to us and it was probably only this week that we realized what an influence those actions have had in our lives.

Mother could not help that she was not prepared; Granny didn't even realize that her daughter was not prepared to be an adult. When she remembered mother's childhood; granny thought that she spoiled her; but she didn't; she just did what came naturally to her and in turn our mother didn't have to do anything. Granny didn't stand over her daughter and tell her to do it again because it was not done right. I doubt she ever even asked her to help. Now on the other hand; mother did have perfectionism in her personality too. But she was a SHE! Her perfectionism paralyzed her. So she would do nothing until everything got to be so bad or Granny was coming. At a very early age Paddi and I became responsible for the kitchen, bathroom, living room, laundry, our room, and the yard. We don't really remember playing as children; we remember being mothers. But we were not mothers; we were caretakers. We didn't know how to mother we just knew how to clean, cook, do laundry and fix things. Granny was our example.

Now don't get me wrong; I am very thankful for the Born Organized people in my life. My sister Paddi is Born Organized and patient with me. I was not born organized but Granny and Paddi have helped me to learn how to be organized by their example. I have deciphered their actions into instructions that help us all to implement their natural tendencies into routines that get rid of the CHAOS in our lives.

Many years ago Pam and Peggy told me to surround myself with born organized people. I have done this and it is the born organized people who can implement all the things we come up with. Jack laughed one day and said it takes Paddi and I two years to complete all that you can come up with in five minutes. This is funny to us.

It takes all of us to make the world go round. Without creative people coming up with ideas and born organized people taking care of the details; just where would we be? We have to realize our talents and accept our limitations. Most creative people get bored easily; our minds don't stop; we jump from one thing to the next. Now don't ever forget that we are just as much a perfectionist as a born organized person; the only difference is we want to see it finished NOW when we come up with the idea. We don't know how to break an idea into babysteps. Born Organized people can see and do all the steps without skipping to the end. We just want to see the results. The Born Organized person just does it naturally without even knowing how they do it.

My sister Paddi though her patience and love has never beaten me up because I am not like her. She too celebrates my SHEness and sees the talents that I have and helps me with my limitations. I have learned to ask for help instead of throwing my idea away because I didn't know how to make it happen or to stay on track with a plan.

None of us would be who we are without the mothering that helped us along the way. We are all mothers by our example. Our actions teach louder than words. We cannot allow our perfectionism to disable the children of the world. Be thankful for the people who mothered you.

My husband has been a great example for me too. But isn't it usual that you marry your opposite. We have many things that we love together but he is more toward the born organized side than I am. He too respects my talents as I do his. Here is the funny part of our relationship. I am a pretty well rounded person in my own right and so is he. You could say that we are whole people.

We are taught that two people become one in marriage. I never really knew what that meant till we married. Together we complete each other. This is not to say that we can't do by ourselves; because we have and could do it again if we had to; but we complement each other in a loving way. Where my talents are lacking; Robert can help me. That is if I ask him. He would never assume that I could not do, but I have to ask. Now it still upsets me that I can't do something, but I have learned to not beat myself up about it or not get at him because he can and I can't. I accept his help with the love that it is given.

It is not a competition to be better than me; he just complements me and it is such a blessing to have two great minds working together to solve a problem in a loving way! He is not telling me what to do; or that I am doing it wrong. But this is because I have learned that I don't have to be perfect! I can ask for help!!! Imagine that! I don't have to do everything!

This was a big step for me! I quit beating myself up over not being perfect and let go of my pride to say please I have a problem and need your advice. He has also given me permission to not take his advice, but I get to ask anyway.

He would never give me unsolicited advice or in some words tell me what to do or infer that I was doing it wrong or that he was smarter than me. I know that I am smart too but I don't beat myself up because I don't know everything. I know enough to know that I need help. That is a blessing to me. I have let go of my perfectionism and have allowed blessings to fill my life! It was only after I released my perfectionism and started to finally love myself that I found my true calling in life.

We all mother; that is not to diminish the role that our mothers had in our lives but it is to reinforce that others are watching and learning from our actions. Please don't allow your perfectionism to have a negative impact on the people around you. Now this is going to be confusing. Maybe there is no negative or positive impact. Maybe it is just a balance in all things; firmness and spoiling. Maybe it is just love! Loving is the action that makes good mothers out of us all. It all starts with loving ourselves enough to realize that we don't have to be perfect.

We have an opportunity to mother ourselves and leave a legacy of love for our families. It doesn't matter if you had a wonderful mother or if your mother was just trying to survive like ours. We can mother ourselves.

Are you ready to FLY and celebrate the mothers that made us who we are and Mother ourselves?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Getting rid of the CHAOS doesn't happen over night! The CHAOS crept into your home little by little over time and before you realized what was happening you were stuck and you didn't know how to get out of the mire!

If I told you that you had to do this great big long list of stuff every day, you would run as fast as you could to get away from me. That huge list is enough to scare anyone. This is why we start with our kitchen sinks.

Your sink is a source of pride when you get her shining! Keeping her that shiny is your badge of honor! Before you know it, the clean has moved its way around your kitchen and you are surprised at how easy it is to cook. Cooking becomes a pleasure!

Next we add getting dressed to lace-up shoes and fixing your hair and
face. While you are in the bathroom, pick up after yourself.

Along with this, declutter for 15 minutes a day. That is all it takes to start your journey toward peace. These three things will make an incredible difference in your day! You don't believe me; then prove me wrong!

As your simple routines become automatic; this is when you add another step! We don't add too much too fast either: In our perfectionist, all or nothing thinking: We want, what we wan,t and we want it now! We have to practice our routines. All of us hate the word practice. It dredges up those never ending music lessons when we were young. But practice can be fun if you will make a game of it with your timer.

FLYing works because you learn not to beat yourself up if you don't get it all done! There is no more piling on the things that didn't get done today to tomorrow's list, We start fresh each day. Sometimes I have been known to start fresh in the middle of the day! We don't have to live up to anyone else's standards.

After a few months you are ready to add another couple of steps to your routines. The key here is to put them with the steps that you already have down pat. Think of yourself as learning a new aerobic step. You learn it in sections. The instructor knows you can't walk into class and get it the first session. That is why she is at the head of the class showing you the way and helping you along. When you don't know that part you can just move to the music. This is all we do!

It is best to write your routines down on paper! This way you have a simple guide for your day; a small morning one, afternoon routine, and then an evening one. Make your routines yours. Adapt them for your family and put them in your control journal.

When I started in January of 1999, I looked at everything I needed to do in a day and just threw my hands in the air. There was no way this was going to happen; it was too much for me. So I picked one thing that I could do. Just one and guess what. from that shiny sink my home began to take shape. It wasn't anything I had ever expected. I had failed so many times that I was scared to expect anything at all, so I celebrated every little accomplishment. In the past, because my expectations were so big that I set myself up for failure; this didn't happen this time! I set small goals; one habit at a time!

My whole life I have heard this adage: If wishes were horses; beggars would ride: We have wished for a clean organized home forever; wishing didn't make it happen; Actions speak louder than words. We have to put a little power behind those wishes and make them come to life!

As your home comes together; you are going to be in shock that it really is quite simple. All we needed was someone to say it is OK; you are not alone and I really know how smart and capable you are! That someone is you! You become your own cheerleader! Your own fairy Godmother; granting those wishes! This is what FLYing is all about!

Our SHEness invades all areas of our life. Getting the clutter and CHAOS out of the way frees us up to deal with those financial issues, relationships, and now our health. It doesn't happen over night or by just wanting it to be fixed. You are strong, smart and capable! You can do this. One little step at a time!

Are you ready to FLY one step at a time?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

The word exercise brings up the idea of sweating, pain and sour looks on faces. This is why we do our best not to use this E word when we discuss moving. We are not drill instructors, coaches or trainers to make you do anything! This is your choice and you can move how ever you choose! Doesn't that make you jump for joy! We are not confined to someone else's definition of moving! It is ours! For most of us, anything we do will be more than we did yesterday.

Slowly over the years we have grounded to a complete halt; only moving when we had too; Nothing extra just for fun. We didn't believe we deserved to have any time or fun for ourselves; we had too much to do in the house. The burden of your cluttered home help to put that clutter on your body! Just the fact that we didn't know where to start paralyzed us into doing nothing and things just got worse!

I truly believe with all my that the clutter in our homes and on our bodies is a direct correlation to our lack of self love! Think about this for a minute. When did your home start to get messy? Now think about when you started to gain your body clutter? Oh and let's not forget the financial problems and relationship woes. Can you pin point a time in your history that started this downward spiral.

It is a vicious cycle that feeds off of you; pulling you down and making you feel worse. The most destructive part is you; you are your biggest enemy! It is you that says the negative things to put you down. There may be others that jump on the band wagon to your destruction, but for the most part it is your own thoughts and words that are in your mind making you feel less than!

My mission in life is to help you find yourself and the love that is going to stop this downward fall into despair. It all started with your kitchen sink. Do you remember the elation you felt the first time you shined it! I will never become immune to that feeling. All those years of being greeted in the morning by nasty water and dirty dishes were enough to make you crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head. Now I practically into my kitchen to see my shining sink each morning.

As you keep it shiny it continually reminds you that you can do something and you are good! It is such a simple task! If you have not felt this joy then why are you refusing to do the very first assignment that you are given! Go shine your sink now and see for yourself. Quit letting those negative thoughts talk you out of something that is so freeing! Besides what have you got to loose; A messy house? What you have been doing has not been working so why not join all the others that have stepped out in faith and just shined their sink!

We have been talking about Moving in May, but this is not just for the month of May this is a habit we are developing that will stay with us for a lifetime. Just think it has taken several years of gaining a few pounds here and a few pounds there of body clutter. Just like with your home it did not get dirty in a day and it is not going to get clean over night. There are no magic pills to get rid of the clutter in your home or the clutter on your thighs.

In our all or nothing thinking we want it right now! Well it is not going to happen that way! It takes consistency of routines to help us peel away the layers of our clutter! Doing just a little every day is going to give you the results you have been searching for, if you will give it time! Time to establish routines, not beat yourself up because you missed a day and most of all to FLY! Once you start taking care of yourself and showing you that you are worthy to be loved then you will start to see the clutter go away.

Remember you can't organize clutter: you can only get rid of it! One babystep at a time!

Are you ready to FLY with us to a higher level of loving yourself!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

I'll bet you didn't know I used to farm. Now there is nothing better in the world than planting your bare feet in dark rich bottom land dirt. I love the smell of tilled ground. Preparing the seed bed is but one step to a beautiful garden.

Once the soil has been loosened, it is time to plant. You are my garden. Your mind is the soil. Upon joining this group, you made the decision to let me help you with your garden. You have researched every possible way to plant. You know all those organizational books you have. Finally you decided to give FlyLady's planting methods a try. For now you only know that you are looking for Peace. You have no idea how to find this peace in all of your clutter and Chaos. You can see the picture of your garden in your mind, but the harvest
seems just too far away. Don't give up.

You have been told by countless friends that FlyLady can help you with your garden, but you have your doubts. "No one can ever helped me with my garden. It is just too far gone!" Well sisters and brothers I am here to tell you that your garden can be beautiful, but it will take some very hard, consistent work on your part. At times it will be wrenching and you will not be able to understand the method behind my madness(I know what you are thinking, FlyLady has to be crazy to ask us to do this). Please don't give up when you get an assignment that is hard.

I have planted the seeds that will reap beautiful , those seeds are our essays. We can't physically come to your home do this, but with your consistent reading of our messages the seeds will begin to germinate. Your soil is prepared, but there are still some nasty weeds that did not get removed when your ground was tilled. We have to go in and pull up those weeds of bad habits, stinking thinking and not taking care of yourself. These weeds are so hard to get rid of, because right when you think you have conquered them, something happens and they rear their little heads and take root. This is why I tell you that you can start over at any moment.

Your garden is filled with perennials, you know these that you have had for years. When you prepared the ground, you did not disturb the soil around them. It would break your , but the patch has become unruly, it no longer gives you the joy that it once did. Maybe that flower is not to your liking anymore. You have seen so much of it, that it is no longer a pleasure to behold. This is why we are going to have to thin out the patch.

The best part of this lesson is that we can share our abundance with our friends. We get the joy of giving something we have grown weary of and they get the joy of receiving your gift. This is kind of like planting a row of radishes and having thousands sprout, but if you don't remove the majority of the little plants you will only have radish tops and no radishes. When you thin the row, you make room for bigger and better radishes to come into your garden. I know it is hard to thin out those plants that you have worked hard to grow. Too much of any one thing is not good. With too many radishes you will not be able to harvest any, but once your thin them, your radishes will get big and you will be able to have some to eat.

You know what these radishes represent. They are collections of clothes, shoes, books, toys, paper, what-nots, ceramics, dishes, fabric, you name it, we have collected it. Now don't quit reading. I am not telling you to till under the whole row of radishes, I am just saying that we need to thin them a bit. It is going to be hard, but when you finish, you will have a collection that does not consume your whole garden.

If you had a garden full of radishes, you might be missing something wonderful just waiting to fill your taste buds with joy. Make room for the joys that this garden can bring you. I once had a coffee mug collection. About 4 dozen. It took me months, but slowly I gave them away to friends, one at a time. I would leave them anonymously on their desk. The mugs were beautiful, but they were no longer me. It was not that I didn't like them anymore, they reminded me of where I had bought them or who I was with at the time. Not all those memories were pleasant. By giving the mugs away, I got a new memory to replace the sad one. I was thinning my radishes.

Then there are times when you have mowed your grass and the grass clippings get tossed into the garden. This is your trash that you leave lying around instead of disposing of right when it becomes trash. We leave it where it lies. Go into your garden and rake up all the trash. This action in itself will help the appearance of your Garden.

Preparing the ground, planting the seeds, and thinning the rows, is the hardest part of gardening. The fun part is your daily watering, pruning, and nurturing of the plants. It is a labor of love, to go into your garden and just pamper your plants. Your daily watering is your routines. These help you to stay on top of any problem. While you are doing your routines, you can nip off those spent , these are your Hot Spots. Also while you are in the garden nurturing your wonderful plants you will notice that one area of the garden needs just a little more attention. This is your zones. As you work your way around the garden it will eventually become the tranquil place of peace that you have been yearning for.

This sanctuary did not happen in one week, it was a gradual change in the landscape, by your loving hand. Each nurturing touch may not have been noticed by the passer-by, but the overall effect will become a thing of beauty to behold. You see, for the true gardener, it is the process that makes the garden. An on-going, day to day journey, that is a passion for the love that is in you. Bless your garden by your tender hand. Make each swish of the toilet, swipe of a counter, or shining of your sink be the influence that makes your garden welcome to all visitors.

I love Gardens, Are you ready to cultivate yours?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

It's that time of year again; tornado, hurricanes, wild fires. Could you evacuate at a moment's notice? We can FLY in the face of Danger and Emergency if we are prepared. Don't wait until you are being asked to evacuate. Everyone thinks that it could not happen to them. Well it could, and it is up to you to make sure you are prepared. Don't wait! Do it now!

Below are FlyLady's 11 Ps for Preparedness:

PEOPLE – Have a plan for getting out of the house, and make sure everyone knows it. Have an emergency bag of food and water for your family. Include wholesome snacks and treats: dried fruit, nuts, peanut butter, crackers, and granola bars.
PETS – Keep pet carriers and leashes readily available to lead pets to safety. Also, take pet food with you.
PICTURES – Keep negatives or CDs of pictures in a lock box or at a family member's home. Have picture albums in one place ready to grab and go at a moment's notice.
PAPERS – Have all your important papers in a lock box at a bank and only keep copies at the house. This keeps you from panicking. If you have them at home, then put them in a folder that you can easily grab if you have to move fast. Color code it so you can find it!
PRESCRIPTIONS – Take your medications with you. Don't forget the ones that have to be refrigerated like insulin. Have small ice chest and cold packs readily accessible to pack and go. If you have babies; remember their formula or medications.
PURSES and PETROL – This is where you keep your identification, credit cards, and cash. Keep a stash of cash for emergencies and grab it. You may not be able to use an ATM in the event of a power outage. Make sure your car always has a half a tank of gas.
PROPER CLOTHES and COMFORT ITEMS – According to the weather conditions, gather up a change of clothes along with outer clothing: coats, gear, boots, gloves, and hats. If you have babies, remember diapers. Remember to grab your children's favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or toy. A game or a deck of cards could keep them occupied and calm, too.
PLANNER/CALENDAR/CONTROL JOURNAL – These documents have all the information you will need from phone numbers and insurance numbers to important dates. They are small and filled with things you don't have to try to remember.
PERSONAL PROTECTION – Many of us still have that time of the month. Be sure and grab a box of your preferred protection. It may be hard to find if you have been evacuated. Stress can cause our bodies to do strange things, too. Be prepared. Take medication for cramps, too.
PHONES and RADIOS – Many of us have cell phones now. Always keep them charged up and have a charger in the car or an extra battery. They may not work in the event of power outages, but then they might. Know which local radio station has emergency bulletins. Keep a battery-powered radio tuned to that local station and have plenty of batteries for it.
PATIENCE – This is one of the most important things to pack. Keep it inside of you so that you have a clear calm head. Having your P's to Preparedness list guiding you will keep you patient. In the event of an evacuation, there will be lots of displaced people. Being patient will make things less stressful. Your children need to see you calm and collected. This will help keep them calm, too.


My husband and I had to pack for potential evacuation this past year (luckily we never actually had to evacuate). Although I had a list of my "important stuff" and knew where everything was, we were unprepared for how long it actually took to gather our belongings and load it into our car. It took a couple of hours!

Please, walk through FlyLady's 11 Points to Preparedness for Evacuation. Touch each item you would want to bring. Are your important papers, photos, prescriptions, etc. in one place? Do you have an emergency bag for your family members? Like a fire drill, practice an evacuation drill. You never know how much time you will really have.

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Paper clutter invades every area of our lives. One of the last places we conquer is the paper clutter in our cars. Sometimes it is so bad that we are too ashamed to let anyone ride with us.

Most of the clutter in our car is from things that we don't think we have time to deal with. You know the trash from the drive-thru, receipts from gas stations, and lots of school papers. As with everything we need a routine.
It all starts with being in a hurry. Imagine that! We rush our lives away. We run late, get in the car and can't wait to get to where we are going. Then we are in another big hurry to get out of the car. That is when we leave everything in there. That is why our cars smell bad.

We try to cover up the smell with deodorizers, but nothing smells better than a clean car. When was the last time you cleaned out your car and gave it a good washing. It was probably before you had to go on a long car ride with your family. How long did it take you?

How can we keep our cars clean?

1. Friday is our day to clean out our cars.

2. Every time you fill up with gas. I like to fill up when I hit a half of tank of gas. I am always vigilant while I am pumping gas. I keep my keys in my hand and my car is locked.

3. After the gas is pumped; I take a minute to grab any trash and throw it away.

4. I take my time and use my purple rag and a rubba sweepa to clean my windshield and mirrors. I drive a truck and it is hard to reach the middle of my windshield.

5. I also keep a rubba scrubba to sweep off my floor mats.

6. Put a Post-It Note on your dashboard to remind you to throw away the trash and clean your car.

7. With your car clean; you can run though the car wash. I did that today when I filled up. You can also do a quick wash at home with MultiWand and a water hose.

8. Keep a trash bag in your car. Then you don't have any excuse to not keep your trash corralled.

9. When you get home; completely empty out your car. Everyone grabs something to take into the house.

10. Take your time getting out of the car. I always attach my keys to my purse and gather up my things.

11. It is OK to make a second trip to the car.

So you see keeping your car clean is easy when you slow down and take your time. When Friday rolls around it is your day to focus on your car. This will keep you safe!

Are you ready to FLY with a Clear Car Smile on your Face?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

This morning as I was doing my morning routine, I turned on the computer so it would load the programs. I left it running and did my work. When I got back to my computer, my screen saver had popped up. Here is what it said. (Robert loves to change it) LOL

LOVE MAKES A HOUSE A HOME!

I have seen this come up from time to time, but this morning it was a God Breeze. I want us to focus on ways we can show or family our love for them. And I don't mean saying those three words either. What can we DO. Do is an action word. So what action can we take that will convey to our family that we love them.

I am going to brainstorm a bit here.

1. By dressing and looking presentable to them at all times. Kids are sometimes embarrassed by the way we don't take care of ourselves. Looking slouchy when we take them to school and other places. Have you ever heard these words, Mom please stay in the car, I can go in by myself. The kids want tell you why they want you to stay behind. If you look good to yourself, your children are going to be so proud of you. Even we big ladies, can look wonderful if we will put out a little effort. Try it!

2. We can show our family we love them by not raising our voices and having a sharp tongue. When we let those loud ugly words fly out of our mouths, we can't bring them back and stuff them down our throats again. So choose your tone and words carefully. You will find as the clutter leaves your home, the stressed out attitudes will be gone too. Practice talking in a quiet voice, it is so hard to yell or say nasty things, when we are whispering.

3. Put a smile on your face, even if something is not good, let the smile be your first defense for those bad, hurtful thoughts you are having. After a while that smile with turn your sad feelings into nice ones. If you don't believe me, prove me wrong!

4. Compliment your family, not as a whole, but one at a time. Focus on the positive things that they are doing, don't reinforce the negative ones. Put little thank you notes in lunch boxes or where they can find them. Tell them just how proud you are of them.

5. Show them you love them, by doing a chore that they hate.

6. This one simple thing, means more than anything else. Keep the laundry done and put away. Nothing says I love you, like having clean underwear and socks to put on. Don't just wash and dry it, then leave it in the baskets all wadded up. No one likes a scavenger hunt just to get dressed in the morning. Laundry is just a routine, once you establish the habit, your family will always feel loved. Now if your children are responsible for their own laundry, then do a load for them occasionally. It won't kill you.

7. The smell of something cooking on the stove, says I love you too. Plan your menus, fix things that your family loves. Make mealtime a special time. Set a lovely table, teach your children how to set the table and proper table manners. If you don't know them yourself, then get a book and make a game of it. All of you can learn together. Proper table manners will give your children the boost that they need to feel confident at those dinner meetings with the boss and co-workers in the future. They may not think much of it now, but when they are grown, they will have the experience and will thank you for it.

8. Keep your living room, entrance and kitchen presentable for company at all times. I am not saying it has to be spotless, just not looking cluttered. Children and husbands get embarrassed when they live in a house that they can't bring their friends to. They may not tell you, but they tend to go to their homes to play and not to their own. Would you rather have them where you know where they are instead of out doing things that you can not supervise.

9. Give your family little rewards for jobs well done. Pats on the back, hugs and yes even kisses. So many times we forget to show our affection for our family, because we are just to busy to stop and throw your arms around them.

10. Brag on your husband to friends, It will get back to them. I promise. There is nothing like seeing your husband come home strutting, because he heard something you said nice about him.

11. Keep their favorite treats in the house. I know this can be a problem with those of us that tend to over indulge. But showing that you love them by not eating up their goodies as well as showing yourself that you can do it. I got a handle on this, by freezing the goodies. LOL It is hard to eat a bite-sized candy bar that is hard as a brick bat.

You have joined this group to get your home organized. I'll bet you never dreamed that we would take a holistic approach to cleaning your house. Before you know it, the bad habits will be put aside and new habits will be forming. It is a form of FLY Washing. LOL I have found that if we work on teaching you to FLY, the house will fall into place. So go get dressed to shoes and fix your hair and face. STOP WHINING AND GO SHINE YOUR SINK!

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Why do we save our good stuff for a special occasions? We deserve to use the gifts we have been given. Don't save your pretty things for special occasions. Pull them out and use them!

1. Good China
2. Nice glasses
3. Linen table cloths.
4. Pretty underwear or night gowns
5. Good purses
6. New towels
7. Special bottles of bubble bath and soap
8. Cloth napkins
9. Candles
10.Good silverware
11.Fancy pots or silver services
12.Stationery/ cute notepads

We all have some of these things stashed in our cabinets, linen closets and our dresser drawers. They are just sitting there unloved and collecting dust. We got them for wedding presents or our parents handed them down to us. You may have purchased them for yourself. They are all waiting to we unpacked and used to bless us or our families.

Let me tell you why I think they are unloved and why we don't use them. We have put them in a place that we can't easily get to them. They are in a box in the garage, On a shelf in the basement, stuck so far back under your cabinets, that it would take two hours to pull them out or they are on the very top shelf and you need a ladder to get to them. Then if you do get them out, they are filthy dirty and need to be washed. We don't have time to enjoy our pretty things. So we hide them away. So we don't have to see them and feel guilt about not using them. Or we really don't love them.

If we will get rid of the clutter that is in our kitchen, our linen closets and our china cabinets, we will have more room for the things that you love. When we take the time to get them clean, they will be ready to use. There is another benefit.

When we set a formal table, we can teach our children proper table manners. Many times we eat with our fingers, when we have sandwiches and pizza. Our children have no clue which fork to use first or how to use a butter knife or cut meat. If we are going to help our children feel comfortable in these types of situations, they need practice. This is a good time to let them practice, setting the table and using their best table manners. This has become a lost art. They will need this one day, when a boss asks them over for dinner or at their own wedding.

As for the other items you have stashed in dresser drawers, don't wait till your family buries you in them; then is too late for you to feel sexy wearing them. Get them out and wear those pretty undies. You will be so surprised at how good you will feel, and no one will know. This goes for those night gowns you have stashed too. You know the ones you have gotten for Valentines day.

If you are not going to use them, then you might as well give them to someone that will. If you never liked them, then release them and have no guilt about it. Give them away, someone will love them and you will be blessed by your gift.

Make every day a celebration, by treating your family like they are company!
You deserve to FLY,

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Sometimes when I sleep things come to me. Robert has a name for Him; the midnight editor. I like to think of them as God Breezes while the crew is resting. This morning I was awaken by today's morning musing title: Final touches.

As Flybabies we are famous or shall I say infamous because we have never finished anything in our lives. I think that we become discouraged by the fact that laundry is never done and the dishes are an endless proposition. Not to mention the toys that always need picking up. We would love to see the house clean all at once and stay that way, but let's face it! It ain't gonna happen! Our perfectionism is what wants to see it all completely finished and if we don't have time to do it all we just give up! So it continues to pile up and make us feel even worse! This bad feeling radiates though your home by the sound of your yelling disapproving voice! I want you to stop this right now! You set the tone for your home literally. If you are yelling and angry the rest of the family is going to follow your lead. That is enough to drive anyone crazy!

So to distract ourselves from the house that always needs cleaning, we start a project! We think that this is going to make us feel better but what it really does is start another level of guilt. We have such high ideals and we are really good at running with them, but they never get finished. Our problem is that we don't know how to break a task into doable parts. With our all or nothing thinking; we go buy the necessary items and then we plan and play and never get down to the step by step work that is needed to complete the project.

My Sweetie calls this Project Mode. It is amazing to watch him with this way of thinking. He commits to doing one thing on the project each day. Robert is retired from the court system but when he did work long hours and came home exhausted; he would do just one thing. It may only be 5 minutes, but it is something! One time he built me a wall of shelves that you could lay on by going into project mode.

Every day he celebrates because he has accomplished his goal of doing one thing; he does not beat himself up because he has not finished it YET! He just plods right along, one babystep at a time! Eventually all those babysteps arrive at the end of the project and he will call me downstairs to see his work of art!

He actually knows when he has finished. I can't even imagine that feeling!
I have started so many projects and some of you have been the recipient of them. Before I became FlyLady, I thought I wanted to be a quilter. Oh, I could start them, design them, cut them out, but I hated the sewing part! As a result I had two bags of quilt pieces and no quilt. One day after I became FlyLady, I was writing an essay with the word guilt in it and every time I wrote guilt it came out quilt. At first I laughed, but I guess it was a Freudian slip of the tongue.

Those unfinished quilts were weighing heavy on me. I had to dispose of them and not feel guilty about the money I had spent on the fabric or the time I had wasted on the design or cutting it out. So I hid them under the basement staircase. Hey out of sight out of mind. NOPE it doesn't work that way, because even the bags they were in reminded me of my "quilty" little secret!

There I did it again. Now I have puddles (tears)rolling down my face! I didn't mean to do that. I got rid of those bags just before Christmas when a dear sweet woman from Ohio took my quilt and guilt away! Those quilt pieces are going to be used to keep someone warm! They are never going to make me feel bad again.

Guilt eats away at our self love! It tells us we are not worthy because we can't finish anything. Well I am standing up to this guilt once and for all! You are not going to beat me down anymore! I have a higher calling. I may not be the one to make the quilt, but I can motivate you just a little every day to quit procrastinating about your unfinished projects or give them to someone who will. Release the quilt/guilt and find your purpose in life! I finally know what I want to be when I grow up!

We can finish things; we ice cakes and put away laundry! Dishes get washed and toys get picked up! We are always blessing our home with final touches all the time, we just never knew it because we enjoy beating ourselves up!

Are you ready to FLY without the guilt of unfinished projects holding you down? I am not telling you that you have to finish them either! Just let them go! Boogie your way down the runway and you will find yourself FLYing just the same!

{{{HUGS}}} I am so proud of you for letting them go or for finishing them!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

It is a beautiful day in the mountains of western North Carolina, and it is just as lovely in our home. We have beautiful music filling our heads and hearts and I am writing and Robert is reading his Sunday paper. The music Robert selected today is the Brahms Requiem. The voices bring tears to my eyes and I feel blessed the have experienced this joyous piece of music. One day I will know what they are saying in German; but for now I can read the text as they sing.

Sunday is our "renew your spirit" day! We love to celebrate with music. Yesterday was family fun day and we hopped in Robert's little car with the top down and took a drive down a curvy mountain road into South Carolina. This was not planned. I just said, "let's go for a drive" and we slathered on some sunscreen and took off. We had no idea where we were going. Four hours later we were in Saluda, North Carolina having dinner at an old favorite restaurant, Green River BBQ. After dinner we had to put the top up because it started to . It was a great day and my sweetie thanked me for coming up with the idea. He is so easy to have fun with.

Routines do not keep us from being spontaneous. They give us the flexibility to be able to leave at the drop of a hat; no planning, no stopping to get gas or having to do the dishes first. We were dressed and all we had to do is grab sunscreen and I knew where it was. If we had to do too much to get going; we had rather just stay home because it was "too much trouble"!

When was the last time you turned down an invitation to do something because it was just too much trouble to get ready? You do this all the time and you don't even know it. You get a call to have lunch with an old friend or kids want to go to the park or swimming. You say no because the house is telling you that you cannot go. When are you going to shut that house up and have a little fun?

This "too much trouble" attitude is the same attitude that got your home in the shape that it is in. I know you don't understand this so I am going to explain it. Let's look at your bathroom. One of our monthly habits is "Swish and Swipe". This is how we keep our bathroom company ready all the time. While we are getting dressed we swish the toilet and wipe down the counters and shine the sink. Poof the bathroom is cleaned and it only took a few short minutes. Now if we didn't have our Windex in the bathroom and it was under the kitchen sink; we would have had to go to the kitchen to get the Windex and you know what would happen then. We would get sidetracked again.

When we have what we need in bathroom then we can't say subconsciously; that is too much trouble. We can just do it without having to go through too many steps to get it done. In other words; I don't have any excuses.

This also happens to me when it comes to my floors with something as simple as putting a clean cloth on my mop as soon as I finish. I have gotten into the habit of doing it at the end instead of the beginning. This way I don't say to myself it is too much trouble. It is ready to grab and go; one minute later my floors are done. Wow.

Robert and I have a toiletries bag always packed and ready to grab; if ever we just want to head out on an adventure. This is also a blessing when you need to leave for an emergency. When your laundry is done you just have to toss a couple of items in an overnight bag and go. It is no longer a laundry marathon to get enough clothes to be able to leave.

How does your guest room look now? Would it take all day to get it ready for a guest? Or could you open your door at a moments notice to help a friend in need. Whenever I have a guest leave; I put clean sheets on the bed right then to be prepared for the next visit.

Does your family like to camp? Camping was always an ordeal for me. I would take everything but the kitchen sink. Then I got smart. I got one of those plastic totes we have used to store our clutter and put my cooking essentials in it. Each time we got home from a camping trip I would restock it with the necessities then close it back up. To go camping all we had to do was go to the grocery store and fill up the ice chest with food, toss the kitchen box in the truck, fishing gear, tent and sleeping bags. Shopping was easy because I had a list ready to go with the kitchen box. Camping was fun again. We haven't gone camping in a long time. I have given all my camping equipment to my son for his family outings.

Do you have your shoes tied to your feet? This is another one of those little habits that when you establish them, will keep you from saying it is "too much trouble" to put on my shoes to take the garbage out or go for a walk with your sweet darling.

Now don't you see how having just a simple routine can free us up to have more fun. This same preparedness, helps us bless our homes, face any emergency, welcome unexpected guests and go away for the weekend.
You can have this same spontaneity in your life too! Routines will give you this freedom!

Are your ready to FLY?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

It is a beautiful day in the mountains of western North Carolina, and it is just as lovely in our home. We have beautiful music filling our heads and hearts and I am writing and Robert is reading his Sunday paper. The music Robert selected today is the Brahms Requiem. The voices bring tears to my eyes and I feel blessed the have experienced this joyous piece of music. One day I will know what they are saying in German; but for now I can read the text as they sing.

Sunday is our "renew your spirit" day! We love to celebrate with music. Yesterday was family fun day and we hopped in Robert's little car with the top down and took a drive down a curvy mountain road into South Carolina. This was not planned. I just said, "let's go for a drive" and we slathered on some sunscreen and took off. We had no idea where we were going. Four hours later we were in Saluda, North Carolina having dinner at an old favorite restaurant, Green River BBQ. After dinner we had to put the top up because it started to . It was a great day and my sweetie thanked me for coming up with the idea. He is so easy to have fun with.

Routines do not keep us from being spontaneous. They give us the flexibility to be able to leave at the drop of a hat; no planning, no stopping to get gas or having to do the dishes first. We were dressed and all we had to do is grab sunscreen and I knew where it was. If we had to do too much to get going; we had rather just stay home because it was "too much trouble"!

When was the last time you turned down an invitation to do something because it was just too much trouble to get ready? You do this all the time and you don't even know it. You get a call to have lunch with an old friend or kids want to go to the park or swimming. You say no because the house is telling you that you cannot go. When are you going to shut that house up and have a little fun?

This "too much trouble" attitude is the same attitude that got your home in the shape that it is in. I know you don't understand this so I am going to explain it. Let's look at your bathroom. One of our monthly habits is "Swish and Swipe". This is how we keep our bathroom company ready all the time. While we are getting dressed we swish the toilet and wipe down the counters and shine the sink. Poof the bathroom is cleaned and it only took a few short minutes. Now if we didn't have our Windex in the bathroom and it was under the kitchen sink; we would have had to go to the kitchen to get the Windex and you know what would happen then. We would get sidetracked again.

When we have what we need in bathroom then we can't say subconsciously; that is too much trouble. We can just do it without having to go through too many steps to get it done. In other words; I don't have any excuses.

This also happens to me when it comes to my floors with something as simple as putting a clean cloth on my mop as soon as I finish. I have gotten into the habit of doing it at the end instead of the beginning. This way I don't say to myself it is too much trouble. It is ready to grab and go; one minute later my floors are done. Wow.

Robert and I have a toiletries bag always packed and ready to grab; if ever we just want to head out on an adventure. This is also a blessing when you need to leave for an emergency. When your laundry is done you just have to toss a couple of items in an overnight bag and go. It is no longer a laundry marathon to get enough clothes to be able to leave.

How does your guest room look now? Would it take all day to get it ready for a guest? Or could you open your door at a moments notice to help a friend in need. Whenever I have a guest leave; I put clean sheets on the bed right then to be prepared for the next visit.

Does your family like to camp? Camping was always an ordeal for me. I would take everything but the kitchen sink. Then I got smart. I got one of those plastic totes we have used to store our clutter and put my cooking essentials in it. Each time we got home from a camping trip I would restock it with the necessities then close it back up. To go camping all we had to do was go to the grocery store and fill up the ice chest with food, toss the kitchen box in the truck, fishing gear, tent and sleeping bags. Shopping was easy because I had a list ready to go with the kitchen box. Camping was fun again. We haven't gone camping in a long time. I have given all my camping equipment to my son for his family outings.

Do you have your shoes tied to your feet? This is another one of those little habits that when you establish them, will keep you from saying it is "too much trouble" to put on my shoes to take the garbage out or go for a walk with your sweet darling.

Now don't you see how having just a simple routine can free us up to have more fun. This same preparedness, helps us bless our homes, face any emergency, welcome unexpected guests and go away for the weekend.
You can have this same spontaneity in your life too! Routines will give you this freedom!

Are your ready to FLY?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

I'll bet you didn't know I used to farm. Now there is nothing better in the world than planting your bare feet in dark rich bottom land dirt. I love the smell of tilled ground. Preparing the seed bed is but one step to a beautiful garden.

Once the soil has been loosened, it is time to plant. You are my garden. Your mind is the soil. Upon joining this group, you made the decision to let me help you with your garden. You have researched every possible way to plant. You know all those organizational books you have. Finally you decided to give FlyLady's planting methods a try. For now you only know that you are looking for Peace. You have no idea how to find this peace in all of your clutter and Chaos. You can see the picture of your garden in your mind, but the harvest
seems just too far away. Don't give up.

You have been told by countless friends that FlyLady can help you with your garden, but you have your doubts. "No one can ever helped me with my garden. It is just too far gone!" Well sisters and brothers I am here to tell you that your garden can be beautiful, but it will take some very hard, consistent work on your part. At times it will be wrenching and you will not be able to understand the method behind my madness(I know what you are thinking, FlyLady has to be crazy to ask us to do this). Please don't give up when you get an assignment that is hard.

I have planted the seeds that will reap beautiful , those seeds are our essays. We can't physically come to your home do this, but with your consistent reading of our messages the seeds will begin to germinate. Your soil is prepared, but there are still some nasty weeds that did not get removed when your ground was tilled. We have to go in and pull up those weeds of bad habits, stinking thinking and not taking care of yourself. These weeds are so hard to get rid of, because right when you think you have conquered them, something happens and they rear their little heads and take root. This is why I tell you that you can start over at any moment.

Your garden is filled with perennials, you know these that you have had for years. When you prepared the ground, you did not disturb the soil around them. It would break your , but the patch has become unruly, it no longer gives you the joy that it once did. Maybe that flower is not to your liking anymore. You have seen so much of it, that it is no longer a pleasure to behold. This is why we are going to have to thin out the patch.

The best part of this lesson is that we can share our abundance with our friends. We get the joy of giving something we have grown weary of and they get the joy of receiving your gift. This is kind of like planting a row of radishes and having thousands sprout, but if you don't remove the majority of the little plants you will only have radish tops and no radishes. When you thin the row, you make room for bigger and better radishes to come into your garden. I know it is hard to thin out those plants that you have worked hard to grow. Too much of any one thing is not good. With too many radishes you will not be able to harvest any, but once your thin them, your radishes will get big and you will be able to have some to eat.

You know what these radishes represent. They are collections of clothes, shoes, books, toys, paper, what-nots, ceramics, dishes, fabric, you name it, we have collected it. Now don't quit reading. I am not telling you to till under the whole row of radishes, I am just saying that we need to thin them a bit. It is going to be hard, but when you finish, you will have a collection that does not consume your whole garden.

If you had a garden full of radishes, you might be missing something wonderful just waiting to fill your taste buds with joy. Make room for the joys that this garden can bring you. I once had a coffee mug collection. About 4 dozen. It took me months, but slowly I gave them away to friends, one at a time. I would leave them anonymously on their desk. The mugs were beautiful, but they were no longer me. It was not that I didn't like them anymore, they reminded me of where I had bought them or who I was with at the time. Not all those memories were pleasant. By giving the mugs away, I got a new memory to replace the sad one. I was thinning my radishes.

Then there are times when you have mowed your grass and the grass clippings get tossed into the garden. This is your trash that you leave lying around instead of disposing of right when it becomes trash. We leave it where it lies. Go into your garden and rake up all the trash. This action in itself will help the appearance of your Garden.

Preparing the ground, planting the seeds, and thinning the rows, is the hardest part of gardening. The fun part is your daily watering, pruning, and nurturing of the plants. It is a labor of love, to go into your garden and just pamper your plants. Your daily watering is your routines. These help you to stay on top of any problem. While you are doing your routines, you can nip off those spent , these are your Hot Spots. Also while you are in the garden nurturing your wonderful plants you will notice that one area of the garden needs just a little more attention. This is your zones. As you work your way around the garden it will eventually become the tranquil place of peace that you have been yearning for.

This sanctuary did not happen in one week, it was a gradual change in the landscape, by your loving hand. Each nurturing touch may not have been noticed by the passer-by, but the overall effect will become a thing of beauty to behold. You see, for the true gardener, it is the process that makes the garden. An on-going, day to day journey, that is a passion for the love that is in you. Bless your garden by your tender hand. Make each swish of the toilet, swipe of a counter, or shining of your sink be the influence that makes your garden welcome to all visitors.

I love Gardens, Are you ready to cultivate yours?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Did you ever glance at those well lit pictures in a magazine and wish for a room that looked as inviting as the images in their pages. We want the feel of those pictures but we have no clue where to start to accomplish it. Don't feel bad because I can help you get started on your dream home and it can be done in babysteps.

Our biggest problem is that we don't know where to start! We see the beautifully put together rooms and we get overwhelmed. Then we put the magazine down and give up before we ever get started.

I was scared to death to remodel our home. When Robert and I married in 1996; I had a houseful of clutter and so did he. We put our clutter together and then went to estate auctions to buy more. We called ourselves upgrading the furniture that we already had. Oh we got some great deals but it is so hard to see what you have when your home is filled with clutter.

It was only when we started to get rid of our clutter that we could selectively know what we needed to purchase. It took us about nine months to slowly eliminate our clutter. I like to think of it as giving birth to a new me. As the clutter disappeared I could see in my mind's eye what I wanted for our home and not the piles of stuff that clouded my vision. I began to feel the peace that I had always searched for and it was hiding underneath my hot spots.

Slowly our home became clutter free and peaceful. It still was not decorated as those pictures in the magazines, but it hugged us when we walked in the door. Even with the green shag carpet from the seventies our home was inviting and my routines were helping me to keep our home company ready just for us. This was a blessing but it also created another level of fear in me.

With the clutter gone we could see that our home needed updating. Every room in our home needed help. We could actually see the forest for the first time. We looked closely at each room. I took a note pad and put on a different set of eyes to examine our home. Just imagine that you are a real estate agent and you are going to help your client get their home ready to sell. Grab a clipboard and your pen. I am going to walk you though your home.

We started with our one butt kitchen and our coppertone appliances. I began to jot down everything that I felt made our home outdated. Then we looked at the outside of our home, our bathrooms, living room, bedrooms and back deck. We examined our heating unit and our side porch.

Then we went to dinner to discuss what to do first. This was so frightening to me. I was afraid of allowing the clutter and CHAOS to invade our home again. Once I realized that I could do this by taking babysteps and by taking care of me during this process; I was willing to take the next step. I found if my bed was made every day and our room clean then I could function through a remodel.

You can do this too with your routines in place to guide you and by flinging your clutter so that you have a clean palette to start with. You will be surprised at how much better your home will feel when you love yourself enough to take babysteps. I will be telling you more about this in the future. Many people have this same problem and we want to help you all have the confidence to make your home feel comfortable.

The best compliment I have ever received is that our home looks just like us. This is because we only have things in our home that make us smile.

Are you ready to FLY into building your dream home one babystep at a time?

Each week we are in a different zone. This helps us to focus Get rid of your clutter and find your home.

FlyLady