FlyLady Ezines 2019

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Do you ever feel that you are behind the eight ball when it comes to going into the kitchen to cook? Is your sink filled with dirty dishes and mystery water? Had you just rather pile everyone in the car and go out to dinner than face that mountain of dirty dishes?

As I think about it; your shiny sink may just be the most important decision you ever make for your future! If a sink full of dirty dishes will cause you to spend money eating out when you have food in the house then a shiny sink might actually help you release some debt.

Shiny sinks in the morning help you start your day with a sense of peace! You can make breakfast, fix lunches and brew coffee without feeling behind. Not only do you feel peace but look at the money you have saved by this one simple act of doing the dishes and wiping your sink dry till it shines.

When I got organized I started with shining my sink. I picked this one habit out of all the others because my husband asked me to keep one side of the sink open so he could get a drink of water and make coffee. I had no idea what an impact it would have on our home or the world.

The sink is a tool in the center of your kitchen. When that tool is ready to be used at a moment's notice, we don't feel behind. We are not overwhelmed by having to do yesterday's dishes in order to put dinner on the table. My first habit was just to keep my sink clean and shiny.

If you notice I didn't pile on! I was not REQUIRED to do anything else. BUT when a sink is that pretty; you wouldn't dare put a dirty dish in it. That is when that shine started to work it's magic around my kitchen. My dishwasher got emptied as soon as it finished because I needed a dirt dish disposal unit. Counter tops were cleared and the stove seemed to be begging to be shined too! After all everything in the kitchen was enjoying the shine of my sink.

When your kitchen is clean then the rest of the house follows its lead. Before you know it that little shiny sink habit has your house looking pretty good! And all you were required to do was keep your sink clean and shiny!

Right now we are headed into a busy time of year with the holidays. There will be many hours spent in the kitchen preparing gifts, treats and magnificent feasts. I have some tips to help you not get overwhelmed in the kitchen.

1. Put out a fresh dish towel and dish rag every evening after you shine your sink.
2. Whenever you go into the kitchen to cook; start with a sink full of hot soapy water.
3. Prepare one item at a time and do not multi-task. That is how things get burned.
4. As you get something out of the refrigerator then put it back.
5. Throw away trash immediately.
6. As you dirty up a dish place it into the hot soapy water.
7. After the dish has been put together and ready to cook; clean up all the dirty dishes
8. Then put all the dishes away.
9. Wipe down all the counters.
10. Drain dish water and shine your sink!
11. Sit down and rest with a cup of before you start a new project.

That shiny sink is going to give you patience too. When your children want to help you make cookies you will be excited about teaching them. This is such a blessing to you and to them. They will be learning skills that will prepare them for their future. You will be passing down your traditions. I learned to shine my sink from my grandmother.

Are your ready to FLY!
FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Did you know that you cook Thanksgiving Dinner on a shoestring? I will never forget one Christmas that I could not afford to go home for the holidays. I was determined to fix something that resembles Turkey and Dressing. The only issue was we had no extra money.

I remembered that we had been putting our pocket change into a jar. I went to the bedroom and poured the money out on the bed. There was 23.82. I don’t know why I can still remember that number, but it seems just like it was yesterday; even though it was over twenty years ago.

So I sat there and decided to cook the best meal I could with what little I had. I was blessed to have pantry with the basics: Flour, sugar, eggs, cornmeal, milk, and butter and I knew how to cook.

I had never really made cornbread dressing but I could figure it out. I had watched my mother-in-law make it for years out of leftover cornbread and a few biscuits. So now I needed to make a grocery list. I did a quick inventory of our freezer. I found a pack of chicken thighs and a bag of green beans. What else did I need?

No southern holiday dinner is complete without sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, cranberries, and pumpkin pie. I also needed onions, sage, pumpkin pie spice, 4 sweet potatoes, 8 big potatoes, a bag of cranberries, a bag of marshmallows, a can of pumpkin, and can of evaporated milk.

After a grocery store run, I made a pan of cornbread and a pan of biscuits. I crumbled up the cornbread, added a couple of biscuits in it. I added a sauteed onion, some sage, and chicken broth. Oh I boiled my chicken thighs to make the broth. As soon as the chicken was done I took it off bone and put bones and skin back into broth pot. I saved half the broth for my gravy. I boiled six eggs. Made a homemade pie crust and put together my pumpkin pie. With the green beans cooked, potatoes mashed all I needed was to scoop out the sweet potatoes after I had baked them and put the marshmallows on them.

Then I made my gravy.

I set the table and looked at the feast I had prepared. It wasn’t fancy but it made a sad Christmas easier to get through. Sometimes the act of cooking brings back the good things about the holidays. Take your time over the next couple of days and be thankful for what you have and how you learned to cook. Teach your children. Share the stories with them.

Are you ready to FLY though the holidays with a can do attitude?

FlyLady

Please don't ask me for recipes. I am a traditional southern cook and don't use them. They are all a pinch of this and a dash of that.

Before you start cooking; fill up your sink with hot soapy water! You will be glad you did!

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Have you lost your get up and go and you don't know where it got up and went? Many of us have this problem. The answer may surprise you!!!
You are dehydrated! Yes you heard me. You are not drinking enough water. I did not say liquids, I said water.

You know how much water you need to drink. 8- 8oz. glasses, is the recommended about for normal height and weight. Don't email me on this. It is up to you to figure out what is right for you. I have some tips for reminding yourself to drink your water.

1. Put up post-it notes to remind you: Bright red or neon. Any color to get your attention. Set up a reminder on your phone.

2. Get 4-16 oz bottles of water and set them out each morning. Refill each night.

3. Drink water with all your meals. If you have a hard time drinking water, use a pretty glass or favorite cup. You can also drink out of a straw. Try it. Water goes down much faster when you suck it up.

4. Keep a bottle of water in your car, by your chair, and by your bed. When you think you are hungry, drink a glass of water first.

5. If you can't keep up with the number of bottles you are drinking then use rubber bands on your water bottle. Each time you refill your water bottle then roll it up on your bottle. I have seven colored hair ties on my water bottle.

6. Take a pretty jug that can hold 64 ounces. I have used a big round green wine bottle that I filled with 12 oz glasses. Each time I poured the water into the bottle, I made a mark on the side to calibrate it. That way, any time during the day, I could count how many ounces I had drunk for the day.

7. Drink water at the top of every hour and at the bottom of the hour. Set your timer to remind you to drink up!

If you have the flu or respiratory infection; the water will help to break up the phlegm and wash the impurities out of your system. You will cough up this stuff. It is my best medicine for a cold, flu, or stomach virus.

Please keep in mind that too much of a good thing is bad. Do not drink more that 12 ounces in a 30 minute period of time. There is such a thing as water intoxication. Your kidneys can shut down.

Baby steps and incorporate water drinking into your routines. This will be good for you and it may just give you the energy to get your routines done.

One other benefit from drinking water, your skin will not be as dry or wrinkled. Water is the best beauty makeover.

Are you ready to FLY with your water bottle keeping you fueled and ready to Get Up and Go!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

How many times have you had a thought come across your brain that tells you to be warned? I don't know why they happen, but I have them on a regular basis.

One of the first ones, I remember, happened about dusk on a country road. I had fairly new tires on my car and I had a premonition of a blow out. I threw the thought away as if it were nothing. Then less than a mile down the road, I had a blow out. Even though I had dismissed the thought, I placed both my hands on the steering wheel unconsciously in a defensive position. I had never had a blow out before, but I knew how to steer in case of one. I was so blessed to have had that premonition, because it kept me out of a river on one side of the road and a huge ditch on the other one. I also had to change the tire with the car sitting on the pavement and me in the ditch.

I also have premonitions of snakes. LOL When we are hiking or driving; I can see them before we walk up on them. I have gotten into the habit of telling Robert about them before hand and he actually listens to me. (He doesn't think I am crazy). The last one I had with a snake was when we were driving to the coastal highway. As plain as day, I saw an orange, yellow and black striped snake crawling onto the road. Then less than a mile later, bam there it was. I laughed my head off.

One night, on our date night as we were driving home from the movie, I had three premonitions in a row of a car pulling out from the left across the traffic in front of us. They were so real and I told Robert about them. From that point on, we drove in a more defensive way. Robert is a very good driver anyway, but Friday night traffic can be a mess. We didn't have any car pull out in front of us, but we were ready to make the necessary maneuvers. I thanked Robert for heeding my premonitions and for not thinking I was crazy. He said that because we pay attention to them, we can change the outcome.

When was the last time you had a premonition? Did you listen to your gut feeling. God gave us these messages and it is up to us to listen and be prepared in what ever way we can.

I also pay attention to our animals. Lucy(Blue Tic hound dawg) was my when I met Robert. She loved most everyone. But on occasion every hair stood up on her back and she did not like someone. I watched those people closely. If Lucy had not have like Robert, I would not be married to him. The same went for his Cat Cyrus, that was one strange kittie, but he like me from the start. He didn't like anyone.

Listen to your premonitions and be thankful for them. Even if nothing comes of them. In order to feel them you have to quit rushing! When we were are in a hurry we don't hear and we don't heed their warning.

Premonitions can save your life,

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Love is a word that is very deceptive maybe even illusive if we look at it as a noun. It is not something that we can buy and hold in our hands, it is a word that is filled with action. Love is a verb. This word is not just a feeling it is a doing. For years all I ever wanted was to feel loved. That did not happen because I was looking for love in all the wrong places; as the song says. I was not going to find this love coming at me and surrounding me as a fog. I was not going to feel this love from other people. I was searching so hard for this love that I never dreamed that it was hiding right inside of me. The reason we have a hard time finding this love is that the clutter we have in our heads is standing in the way. When we can address this most personal of our Body Clutter we will begin finding what we are looking for.

Men and women equate love much differently. For a man to show love he often reveals it in actions; checking our tires, changing the oil, he is doing something. He may not be good at sentimental cards and which is how we women equate love. This is why we need to look at the various ways that love is done. How do you love your children? You feed them, dress them, bathe them, and do things for them. We do the same thing for the critters in our lives. We scratch their ears and rub their bellies. Robert explained this to me this morning. A few years ago our hound Lucy died and we got another sweet hound . He said that he could sit in his chair and think about how much he loves this new or he could get up and go over and pet her.

Then he would be loving on her and she would feel his love for her. It would not be a passive experience just for him but a shared event for both of them.
Then he turned this around. He said when we are loving ourselves we are the giver and the recipient at the same time. That is when he headed out the door to play in the woods. This is one thing that he loves to do. When you are doing things that you love; you are loving yourself. With our FLYing way of life we only surround ourselves with things we love. We turn chores into blessings and release the stress from our lives by using routines to put us on autopilot. These are all forms of love but in our female definition of love this is just stuff we have to do.

We have to find ways to show ourselves love the way we understand it and will recognize it as love. But since we are doing it for ourselves we just don't accept it in the same way we would if it came from someone else. This is why we have a new Pampering habit for December. These are little things that we can do each day to pamper ourselves. They can be anything that you can think of to do something nice for you. You can snuggle with a cup of warmth or curl up with a favorite book or magazine. Settle into a tub of bubbles or put on some of your favorite music. Pick up a flower at the grocery store so that every time you look at it you will smile. Light candles in your home or put crystals in the window so that rainbows across your room. These always make me smile.

I was taught many years ago by Rita Davenport to fake it till you make it. I didn't really know what that meant till recently; I just did like she said. Fake it till you make it, is nothing but practicing till a habit becomes automatic. Imagine that, practicing loving ourselves with little habits that tell us we are loved by the person who does those little things that make us feel the love we so deserve. The martyr goes away and you are surrounded by the loving feeling that you have been searching for.

So practice loving yourself first by simple actions and eventually you will not do things that you don't love and you will not have items in your home that do not put a smile on your face. This act of love is as contagious as your shining sink. You are just shining your .

Are you ready to Finally Love Yourself? One little habit at a time.

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

All of our lives we have spent putting out fires. These fires were started by our perfectionism and our procrastination. Along with panic of these fires come the squeals of martyrdom and yells of dissatisfaction. We have all done this and it is our family who have had listen to it.

Why do we torture our family with hurtful words? I can tell you why! You are so stressed out and feeling like a martyr! This has got to stop! I can help you get rid of the stress, but it us up to you to curb those angry words. The first steps is to follow our directions for your routines, getting dressed to shoes, hair and face.

It is up to you to change your attitude toward your family! Once you change your martyred outlook to one of blessing your family and giving teaching moments, you will see a change in them. I know that you don't believe me, but you can only change yourself. It is by your example that your family will begin to help and support your efforts to secure a peaceful home.

What does your wicked tongue do to your children, your husband and most of all you. It doesn't tell them you love them. It makes them feel less than; it hurts their self-worth. They feel that they have no say in things. It makes your husband feel that he is married to his mother! I don't even want to go there.

They feel like servants, instead of family members. Those harsh words are worse than a whipping. You cut your family out of the conversational loop. The family cant even say what is on their mind because they are afraid of you. Home life is based on the fear of not making mother . Your family members hide from you. They become afraid to tell you when something happens.

After those words have come from your lips, just how do you feel then? Do you feel laden with guilt or do you even realize you are barking nasty remarks their way. Oblivious to the torture you have inflicted upon your loved ones.
There is absolutely no excuse for this. I don't want to hear that this is the only way I can get my family to do anything. This is the lie that you tell yourself to not feel guilty. It is time to forgive yourself and then ask them to forgive you.
Many times in our lives we are faced with things that are difficult. As sidetracked people we allow our perfectionism to hurt us and our children. We just do not know that is what is causing us to be raving banshees.

Now you have a chance to change by taking actions. You may not have known how to change in the past but you are learning. Take these words into your and forgive yourself. You know the things you have said. This can be the beginning of a new relationship with your family.

I would like to suggest that you start writing your feelings down too. Not just the pain you are feeling but how you can change. First you have to forgive yourself. You are just learning these things; the more you write the more you will discover about yourself. You are not expected to be perfect. Love yourself enough to take these words and go forward from here. This is not the end but the beginning of a new life. After you forgive yourself and get in touch with your own feelings; then you can ask for forgiveness. My goes out to you! My prayers are with you and your whole family.

You can do this; you found us because you were looking for a change in your life. You are willing to make changes.

Your tongue can criticize or it can encourage. The choice is all yours. If you have not changed your attitude, then how can you expect to see a change in them. It has to come from the . If not they will see right through you. They may not even believe it at first, because you will not be sounding like the mother that have been used to all your life. The children may think the aliens have taken their real mother away. Prove to them and their father that you have changed. Sprinkle your words of love, encouragement and teaching, all over your home. Apologize for your tongue. Don't play the martyr game anymore. No one loves a martyr. Not even you!

It time to FLY without the Guilt; forgive yourself!

FlyLady