FlyLady Ezines 2019

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

I don't know about you, but I am ready for my routines to get back to normal. The holidays have a way of taking on a life of their own and after a couple of weeks of not doing your regular routine; you are out of practice. It is time for us to relearn our steps that help us guide through our day. Are you with me? Let's start now.
We are making some big changes around here. We are going back to basics! What better time to do it than right now.

January 1st is the day that all people want to make a change in their life. They make a long huge list of New Year's Resolutions. Then next week they look at the list and throw it in the trash feeling bad because they have broken everyone. I want you to start this new year feeling good about yourself.

In 1999 I made my last New Year's Resolution; it was to get organized. That was such a global resolution; What in the world did that mean anyway? As I started to plot my course that New Year's Day I realized that it was too big for me to put my head around. So I decided to be nice to myself and just pick one habit to practice. Did you hear me; only one habit. That habit was to keep my sink clean and shiny.

Imagine that; I realized that I could be the meanest person to me; so I did an about face! I turned what could have been another reason to beat me up into a celebration: All because I refused to burden myself with a monster resolution.

Let's start a new tradition all over the world; The BabyStep Revolution! Babysteps to change. Let's turn something negative into positive BabySteps forward toward peace. Guilt is tossed out the door forever with this revolution.

So what are your first BabySteps????

1. Keep your sink clean and shiny.
2. Lay out your clothes for tomorrow.
3. Go to bed at a decent hour and get plenty of rest.
4. Use your timer to help you stay focused.

We have all heard that it take 21 days to develop a new habit. Well I disagree with that. For us it takes another week. Here is why. We will skip a day, but because we have added an extra week in there we don't have to start over. We just jump in right where we are and don't look back. We are not behind! Do you hear me! We are never behind! We have given ourselves permission to jump back in where we are.

Are you ready to FLY???

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

My bathtub is my place of meditation. I surround myself with warm water and open my mind and to listen. Robert calls them God Breezes. When they come in the middle of the night, we refer to them as the Midnight Editor and when I get them in the tub; they are bathtub epiphanies. Today the subject was love!

Robert and I have spent the last hour and a half talking about love! Not our love but the love that is in us all. As SHEs all we have ever wanted is to be loved. I can remember a time when all I wanted was to just feel loved. It didn't matter if I was really loved or not just as long as I felt like I was loved. I guess that is just affection. Any way love is not something we can make happen.

I don't care how much you try to make someone love you it is never going to happen. You cannot earn love. Respect maybe, but not love. It is either there or it isn't. This is why I have told you for years that you have to get the house in order for you. You are never going to get your home clean enough to make someone love you more or at all. Even as the house gets cleaner this person is never going to love you if they don't love you with a dirty house. Do you understand this? The house is not the problem with the lack of love. If the love is there all things are possible even a small spark of love is enough. You cannot buy love with gifts either. If you are not loved for you then no gift is ever going to satisfy the need you have to be loved by this person or family member.

Do you remember the first time you walked into your kitchen after you shined your sink? If you have not shined that sink yet then go do it now. You feasted your eyes upon a reflection that made you smile. You didn't know why it made you smile but that feeling emanated from the very core of your being. That feeling was love! I know you don't believe me. When that sink greeted you and you smiled, you felt something that changed you forever. I know it seems so simple and maybe a bit corny but that sink is a reflection of you.

When you take care of the sink; just look what that care does for the way you feel each and every day! This is the beginning of you accepting the love that has been hidden inside of you forever. For years we have pushed that love down deep and had forgotten about it because we were too busy trying to work hard enough to earn that love from others. It is time we uncovered that eternal love and cultivated it so that love can be shared with the world.

Now I am in great big purple puddles. Think about all the songs that have been sung over the years. As a little child in Sunday school we sang the song about hiding our little light under a bushel. Then we would yell NO! I am going to let it shine! That little light is your love and your connection to God and the world. That love has always been there, we have just kept it hidden; especially from ourselves. Some of us have even been told it was wrong to love ourselves. Well to this I say you cannot love anyone else till you love yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself means you have to love yourself to be able to reflect that love to others.

Did you know that when you are loving yourself that you attract love back to you. You become a love magnet. Not only are you reflecting that love to others but that love is coming back to you and the best part is that it is multiplied! And it all starts with you! Have you shined that sink yet? This is your first uncovering of that love that has been hiding underneath all the self-loathing and pain you have suffered your whole life.

All we have ever wanted was to feel loved! We can do this for ourselves without having to depend on anyone else for what we need. We deserve to be happy! This little ray of hope, happiness, peace and love has always been inside of you! We all remember the Wizard of Oz and the good witch telling Dorothy that she had the power to go home; that it was always inside of her. This is how I feel about FLYing! Your love is just waiting for you to open up the doors and windows then let the sun shine from within you to light up the world!

Love makes the world go round, it is the energy that keeps us moving when all is lost. Love is always with us, we just have to start with babysteps to rekindle the love that we have locked away. Start now. Go shine that sink of yours, get dressed to shoes and do something sweet for you. If you don't take care of you; who will?

May the force be with you! Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

It's that time of year again! Germs are everywhere! What is a mom to do to keep her family safe from these colds and stomach bugs. A few germs is always good to help us build up our immune systems. There has been research done that says children who are raised in perfect homes have more asthma. That is one good thing about being messy; we will never be guilty of having a home that is germ free.

We still need to get into good habits to keep our family safe from those nasty bugs.

Wash your hands often with hot soapy water.
Wash your hands when you get home. Everyone in the family.
Change your clothes.
Clean door knobs and light switches often.
When you turn on heat; start humidifying the air.
Wipe down faucet handles too with hot soapy water.
Don't use one hand towel for the whole family.
Have plenty of tissues on hand.
Take your supplements! I love my vitamin C. Research it for yourself.
Get plenty of sleep!
If you are sick! Stay home!

Washing your hands: This seems so simple but we forget to do this. We do this after we use the bathroom but washing your hands when you get home is another habit to practice. Wash them while you sing the Happy Birthday song. I also wash my hands before I go to bed as I sleep with my hand on my face. I have a little ritual that makes me smile. My hand soap is Jergens. The smell reminds me of my grandmother. As I wash my hands I smell my granny and I thank God for giving me a Godly Grandmother who influenced my life. Getting into the habit of washing your hands and all the little hands in the family will keep the germs from invading your sanctity of your home.

Change your clothing: The outside world can be a dirty place. Our children are taught to cough into their sleeves. Does this work? Check out Myth Busters for this. What this means to me; is our clothes are contaminated. Change them when you get home. This means your children too. Get them in the laundry.

Clean door knobs and light switches often: It does not take long to run around the house with a purple rag and some hot soapy water, your favorite disinfectant, or just rubbing alcohol. In two minutes you can clean all your door knobs, light switches, and faucet handles. If you use a purple rag make sure it no longer has any dye in it. I like to use my oldest purple rags for this.

When you turn on your heat; start humidifying the air: Our noses are the best filters to help stop germs from getting into our bodies. When our sinuses are dry and irritated from our heating system, we need to put some moisture back into the air. If you have a wood stove, place a steam kettle on it and check it every couple of hours. I have one on my cooking stove and use it quite often. I know from past experience that I have to set a timer to keep it full of water. I have even put spices and orange peel in the water to make it smell good. Don't let it run dry. Use your stove timer to remind you. At night I have a cool mist humidifier in our bedroom.

Wipe down faucet handles with hot soapy water: Think about this! You turn on the water in your bathroom with germy hands. You wash your hands and then touch that nasty faucet with your clean hands. That just grosses me out! Here is a thought! When your hands are all soaped up; use them to wash down your faucet handles.

Don't use one hand towel for the whole family: I like to use individual white wash cloths to dry hands. This keeps from spreading germs from one person to another. I have a little basket where I keep them and another hamper where the dirty ones go. When the hamper is full, I do a load with some bleach water. Another good thing about using individual cloths; you can wipe down those faucets, counter-tops, and dry out the sink for your daily swish and swipe!

Have plenty of tissues on hand: Keep a box of tissues in every room in your home. That way when you feel a sneeze or cough coming on; you can grab a clean one. Also have a trash can in each room to accept the discarded tissues. Empty it often.

Take your supplements! I love my vitamin C. Research it for yourself: Many years ago I read a life changing book called, Doctor Yourself. This is where I learned about vitamin C. There are lots of resources out there to give you the facts. I looked at all of them before I started using vitamin C to keep me healthy. I rarely get sick with a cold or stomach bug. I love my vitamin C. I buy it in bulk and put it in my water every day. It tastes like I have lemon in my water. Put a bowl of oranges and tangerines on your counter for your children to eat. They make great snacks and you can get a some vitamin C in their little bodies.

Get plenty of sleep: When we are exhausted, our immune system gets depleted. For me when I travel my routines get out of whack and I am aware that I need more sleep. This helps me. If you are up a lot with sick children then please sleep when the babies are sleeping. The last thing you need is to get sick when the rest of the family needs you. I know we have two speeds: ninety miles an hour and dead stop! Don't do this to yourself! Practice taking breaks! Pace yourself! Your immune system will thank you!

If you are sick! Stay home: This is my biggest pet peeve! The other day I wrote a personal recommendation for a dear friend of mine who was changing jobs. They had never missed a day of work. I talked about their work ethic. What I really wanted to say was that they would come to work sick and take out the whole company! I didn't do that but that can be a big problem for businesses. If you have the ability to stay home and not get fired then by all means please stay home if you are sick! Nobody wants your germs. If you do have to go to work, quarantine yourself as much as possible.

I want you to be healthy this winter! Follow these recommendations and you can eliminate some of those nasty colds.

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

This morning I woke up at 4:00 am with Jeff Foxworthy on my mind. I must have been dreaming about his "You might be a Redneck if ..." but he had changed it up to "You might be a Perfectionist if ....!" Some of you are still in denial that you are a perfectionist. We see your blogs and emails saying, "How can I be a perfectionist if my house is so messy!" It is that perfectionism that causes it. Let me explain.

Born Organized people and Sidetracked people are both perfectionist. The Born Organized person actually creates the environment that everything has to be in place. They cannot mentally or physically leave anything out of order. For Sidetracked people like us; we get overwhelmed by it. We want it in order but we don't think we have enough time to do it right. This is when we do nothing. Getting overwhelmed is caused by our perfectionism.

You come to us looking for help to get rid of your clutter and CHAOS. You just want to get your house clean. Deep down inside you realized that this clutter and CHAOS has infested every area of your life. Even if you are not ready to admit it; your finances show that evidence, your schedule is crazy and your relationships are falling apart. Here goes your perfectionism again. You are looking for the perfect answer to your problem. There is no such thing as perfect.

I hear people use that term "perfect" all the time as an adjective. It saddens me that so many people use that word without even thinking of the burden it puts on their family to live up to that unrealistic view of life.

Our perfectionism causes us to be critical of others. We see something they are doing wrong and it is our duty to correct them. We do this to our children, our husbands and sometimes even total strangers. We think it is our duty because after all we can do it better than they can. All this does is show the world that you are a rude person. What example are you setting for your children when you correct their father all the time? Your children just want to be loved. The message you are giving them is that if they are not perfect they are not worthy to be loved. Isn't that the message you heard growing up. We have been saddled with this from the day we were born, "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all!" Guess what! That is exactly what we did! NOTHING. Perfectionism once again!

Let's have some fun with this topic so you can see the perfectionist in you!
You might be a perfectionist if ..

You might be a perfectionist if ..You spend hours cleaning the grout with a toothbrush when there is a sink full of dishes.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You put the salt shakers in the center of the table when they become out of place after someone uses them during the meal.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You go to put the groceries away you pull out every single shelf in the refrigerator to clean them while the groceries are getting warm on the counter.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You go to replace a light bulb and end up tearing the whole light fixture apart cleaning it.

You might be a perfectionist if ..While doing laundry you spend hours trying to get a stain out of a $2 shirt when there are 10 piles that need to be washed and put away.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You spend six hours balancing your checkbook looking for a penny mistake.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You put the children's toys away while they are still playing with them because it looks too messy.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You go to put away a book and end up spending hours rearranging the books in your bookshelf by height, color or alphabetical order when you were only clearing out a hot spot on your table.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You spend good money and valuable time searching the aisles of the grocery store for the latest greatest cleaning product to get your home in order when all it takes is a little soap and elbow grease.

You might be a perfectionist if ..You get an email, card or letter from someone and all you see is the mistakes that were made in their penmanship, spelling or grammar instead of the message of love. (You know who your are)

You might be a perfectionist if ..You put off doing the things you love because you don't think you have enough time. How many memories are you not making because you think there is not enough time to do it right.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You fall off your diet wagon and give up; then start eating everything in sight.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You make a mess on your stove and go running down the hallway wanting to buy a new one.

You might be a perfectionist if .. Your baby spills milk and you explode in anger over a little mess.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You don't have eight hours to clean your house; so you do nothing.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You automatically assume that everyone else is wrong and you have all the answers.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You make sure that everything goes exactly how you planned it.

You might be a perfectionist if.. You get upset in traffic because everyone else is a bad driver.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You shut down when things don't go your way!

You might be a perfectionist if .. You read one of my essays and only see the mistakes and miss the message. Then shoot off an email complaining about how I need a proofreader.

You might be a perfectionist if .. You get a few emails in your inbox and automatically unsubscribe because you don't have time to read them all.

Have you caught perfectionism in yourself? Do you have another one for us to add to this list? Send it to [e-mail] with LAUGH in the subject line.

Each of us has an opportunity to turn off our perfectionism switch if we really what to! I have done it. We can replace perfectionism with an open and loving gestures.

Are you ready to FLY!
FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We have always had to deal with ever-changing goals of perfectionism. These goals were never attainable for us especially when someone keeps moving the goal posts. We are left feeling defeated and less than. Our family members have, done this to us many times, so I guess this is where we learned it. Because consciously we do not want to set ourselves up for failure but why do we keep changing the rules. I know why. It is our perfectionism. If good is OK then better can't be too much farther and why not be the best. Can you just hear this conversation in your head?

Well it is not that simple. Because our best means we do nothing else but that and that hyper-focus leads to the classic crash and burn syndrome that we know so well. Why can't we be satisfied with good enough? It is because our good enough was never good enough to garner the love and praises that we so desperately needed. This is the reason we pushed ourselves toward the illusive ever changing goal of perfection.

We don't have to be perfect to love ourselves. All any of us need is the balance that comes for having effective habits that build into solid routines that keep our day running on a smooth and even keel. There is no such thing as perfect. We can never reach it, so why are we killing ourselves and our family in search of it!

If you want to have a peaceful home you are going to have to let go of your perfectionism and put that psycho woman back in the closet. You deserve to cruise on smooth water and not make a lot of waves. Enjoy the process! It's all about taking those babysteps and being nice to yourself!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

Just because you can, does that mean you should? This is a problem that many of us are faced with each day; from our homes, board rooms to halls of Congress. Forcing our will on others is definitely a control issue. It is our insecurities that cause us to use every tactic we know to compel others into doing things our way.

We are given our children to train into responsible adults. If we make all their decisions for them, they will never know the joy or disappointment of their actions. A dear friend who owned a summer camp once explained to me that children rarely get the chance to pick the activities they are involved in when they are at home. At camp they have the opportunity to make their own decisions, while living day to day with the result of their actions. This is teaching our children to be responsible adults.

When we expose our children to the perfectionism of our parents and their parents, we rob them of joy. The joy comes from doing a job that makes them happy because they wanted to do it instead of being forced against their will. What good does it do you, if you MAKE someone do something! You are the all powerful controlling head of the house. So what if you can push your will on others. Wouldn't it be much nicer if they did things without being asked?

You have expectations and when the job isn't done you get , yell, pout, or even do things like pitching a fit to get your way. You may be one of those silent passive aggressive types who puts up little signs to show your disapproval of their actions. This is really sad! Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!

It is fine to ask for help, it is not good to assume that your family knows what you expect. I don't expect you to do all the work in the house. I do expect you to set a good example for your family. This attitude of, you are going to do this or else; sucks the life right out of you. Why do we do play these games with our family, ourselves and society?

I am trying to teach you how to find peace in your life. This is not about teaching your family how to act! All I can do is help you to realize self-destructive behavior. Our FLYing techniques are just for you. The corresponding change in your family is the result of your loving attitude. I know you don't love housework, but you love blessing your family. When housework becomes a labor of love, then you will be really FLYing!!

Your attitude determines your altitude! How high do you want to FLY!!!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We want a home that hugs us! But where do we start? This has been the underlying question that causes us to procrastinate. I have an answer.We start with shining our sink. That is the absolute first habit to establish is keeping our sinks clean and shiny.
Then we declutter. That's when the question comes up again, "Where do I start?" I have been thinking about this and sometime we get the cart before the horse.

Here is the reason we have to address our clutter issues.

1. Clutter waste time
2. Clutter makes our house look messy
3. Children pull out everything; less to pull out = less mess
4. Too many clothes makes laundry hard to do and to put away
5. Clutter causes us to feel overwhelmed tired. It zaps our energy.
6. We want peace in our lives and with clutter around there is no peace.

Back to the question of the day; Where do I start? Chicken or the egg syndrome once again; do I declutter the flat surfaces or the cubby holes. I have the answer. BOTH! Now don't get upset! We are not going to do it all at once. I am going to walk you through this one babystep at a time.

The reason your flat surfaces are piled high is because you do not have a place for the items in your hotspot. The easiest way to save time is to have a place for everything and everything in its place. Didn't your Granny teach you that? Our problem is that we don't know where to put anything because all of our storage places are cluttered.

Here is my story: I have telephone and computer stuff in lots of places. When I need something I spend a lot of time searching for it. I had to decide where I wanted to keep my geek toys. For me that had to easily accessible when I wanted something. I decided that I would keep them in a Rubbermaid sweater bin that would slid under my extra bed. But wait! My memorabilia was in one of those bins and the other one was full of tote bags and zipper bags. Here is what to I had to do.

I chose my cedar chest to hold my keepsakes. It had a pillow, two sweaters, a small comforter and other memorabilia; the pillow got donated along with the two sweaters and the comforter is being washed to give to a precious little girl. That made room for the bin of keepsakes. I picked up the bin and just poured it into the cedar chest. I didn't get sidetracked by sorting this box of magazines and other papers. That was not my goal. Now the bin was empty. I was still collecting all the geek toys into one place. I took the other Rubbermaid sweater bin and pulled out all the totes and zippered bags. Put them all in one bag and declutter the ones I don't like. I placed that in the top of my closet with my other tote bags and purses. Now I had two bins empty. I took the declutter items to the car and put the trash in the garbage can.

Now I was ready to start sorting my geek toys into one bin. With my trusty declutter kit right beside me; Give away, Put Away and Throw away. Now laundry basket is empty. The Rubbermaid bin is labeled and ready to roll under the bed and I have one empty one. See how easy this is. Now I am going to give you a step by step list to get started.

I started by thinking about everything having a place and everything being in its place. As a result of just collecting my geek toys, I have consolidated my memorabilia, my purses and tote bags and I have one empty storage container.
NOTE: Before you start this make sure you are dressed to lace up shoes and you have a done our morning routine. Then put on some fun music. Our Up Kind of Day CD has a lot of peppy music.

Where am I going to put my stuff?

1. How often will you use it- this determines where you put it.

2. Hard to get to or easily accessible (I needed easily accessible)
What is living in that space now?

3. Is it clutter that can be donated? (Much of it could be donated to make room)

4. Can it be put in another other place with like items (I used my cedar chest)
What are you going to put the items in?

5. Rubbermaid bin (under bed storage or tote)

6. A Basket (my laundry basket for collecting geek toys)

7. A decorative storage device out in the open (cedar chest)

8. A Storage bin that seals to protect items from moisture and rodents. (Rubbermaid sealed bins)

What do you do now?

9. You will need a Declutter Kit: A give-away, put-away and throw-away bin or bag.

10. You will need a timer , note card, marker and tape. Once you decide you label it.

11. Set a timer for 15 minutes and begin collecting your caches of like items in a laundry basket.

12. Set a timer for another 15 minutes and empty the place you want to put your collection.

13. Declutter things that need to go away and throw away the trash.

14. Don't just throw it in the floor put it where you want it to go.

15. Don't get hung up on wanting to organize those things. Just consolidate them for now.

What next?

16. Set your timer for 15 minutes.

17. Place the items you have been collecting in their new home. As you put them away declutter the broken items and duplicates.

18. Put the container where you want it.

19. Gather up the trash and throw it away

20. Take the give-away items to the car

21. Pick up after yourself

Now what?

22. Set your timer for 15 minutes and

23. Fix yourself something warm and comforting to drink.

24. Put your feet up and celebrate that you got rid of clutter, consolidated your stuff and found a place for it! I am so proud of you!

I have been corralling my little stash and dash caches of computer and telephone gadgets. What do you need to corral? Clear out the holding area and let's herd our stuff together. Everything having a place and everything in its place; makes for a peaceful home.

The Cure for CHAOS is Yours in 2019!

Get Rid of your CHAOS
FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

I get asked many times when do I get to do my sewing, scrap booking or any other hobby or craft. Right now I want us to look at this. Now don't get me wrong we all need some down time, but let's examine our personalities in depth first.

As SHEs we have a tendency to hyper-focus and you all know what I mean. It is the perfectionism in us that causes us to keep going and spread our project all over our homes. If you have you ever scrubbed the grout in a tile floor with a toothbrush to make it all white, then you know exactly how we can hyper-focus. It is this inability to stop when we should that hurts us, our families and our homes. For some reason we have trouble with our starter and our breaks on our little engine.

If we think that we don't have enough time to do a job right, then we won't even start. Then if we ever do, we can't stop till it is all done right. It doesn't matter that dinner needs to be started or that the house has been trashed by the kids while you were on your never ending mission to perfectionism. We were going to do it right if it killed us. You can't tell me that you have never said those words under your breath or even out loud to your family.

This inability to stop causes us to crash and burn. This is why I want you to take baby steps and learn that it is OK not to do something perfectly. Some of you have found great success in just a few days and I really worry about you because of this gung ho mentality. We have all done this in the past and this is why our family just rolls their eyes are this new FlyLady kick you are on. Good efficient habits take time to establish. Just as your home did not get trashed in a day, neither are your routines going to become instilled in your mind and body overnight.

This is all a process of establishing one habit at a time and building upon what you have learned by adding another one to your routine; Taking babysteps. I don't expect you to have a full blown routine in a week. It took me nine months to give birth to my new life if you think you can do this faster, then I believe that you are back into your perfectionism. My routines have become part of me. Now that they are established my body goes through the motions without even thinking about them. This is how my home practically cleans itself.

Learn to use your timer for most everything you do. This gives you a feeling of accomplishment as well as giving you permission to not overdo and burn out. If you find yourself resetting the timer after your 15-minutes are over then; STOP THIS! It is your perfectionism trying to follow the FlyLady Way to a T; while still being entrapped by your perfection to keep going till it is done. Practice quitting! You will come back to it.

The reason that you will come back is because you have not burned yourself out. When we have let our bathrooms go till we can't stand it any longer; then we get in there and spend 3 hours cleaning. After you have finally finished, you don't want to see another bathroom to clean for a while, so you don't! Then it goes until it is totally disgusting and you wouldn't let your mother in there, would you! I want this crash and burn attitude to go away forever. My bathroom never has to be marathon cleaned, because I clean just a little each time I am in there. A little swish and swipe and it is done. Having a presentable bathroom is a gift to you and it really doesn't have to kill you to keep it that way. It is all just a habit, to pick up after yourself while you are in there and do a few seconds worth of cleaning each time you are in there.

Don't let perfectionism keep you from doing a little each day!

Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We are all so busy doing for others that we don't take the time to do for ourselves. This is why we have a "Renew Our Spirit" day in our basic weekly plan. This is a day that we take a few moments out of our busy schedules to replenish our batteries on a spiritual level. Each night we want you to recharge your batteries by getting enough sleep. This is a little different. Yes you could take a nap if that is what you need to do.

We lose ourselves in doing for others. You can't fill up their cups if your pitcher is empty! With your routines in place you will have the basic stuff done. Utilize your crock pot or oven to get dinner started and set back and enjoy some time to yourself.

This is all part of putting your oxygen mask on first before helping someone next to you! We have pushed ourselves to the point of total exhaustion many times. This is the martyr in us doing this. We have to stop and recognize that we need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of everyone else.
If momma ain't happy; ain't nobody happy! You set the tone for your home! Today is the day to slow things down a bit and enjoy yourself. This is not illegal for you to do! Plan for your "Renew Your Spirit" Day! Or just grab a few moments when you can. What ever you do remember to take the time for you!

When we give so much of ourselves away every day it is not selfish to take a few minutes to fill your with joy! As Rita Davenport taught me; you have to save a little sliver of your pie so you will know what kind of pie you like when the children grow up; you can't give it all away. Taking time each week for yourself will keep that pie alive in you!

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

I want for you the joy I feel every morning when I walk into my front room and kitchen. Even after many years of this area being clean, I still marvel and smile each time I enter this room. Words are inadequate to express this uplifting feeling.

If you have had the pleasure of this emotion, you know what I am talking about. But if you have not shared in our joy, I want you to look at some of the reasons why you have not felt this yet.

1. You are still waiting for someone else to clean it up.(not going to happen)

2. You didn't mess it up so why should you clean it up. (so you can feel what we feel if for no other reason.)

3. You just don't know were to start. (I have told you to start with your kitchen sink) It really works. Many will testify to it. Clean and shiny.

4. Your husband and children are the messy ones. (You teach by example) Also have a family meeting and explain what you want to accomplish. This will work.

5. You have too much to do, therefore you don't have time to police the hotspots and do your routines. (If you do your routines you will have more guilt free time to do more things.) I promise.

6. FlyLady's routines are too long. Not if you take baby steps and establish the habits that will start you on your journey. 3 simple habits. Get up and get dressed to shoes, keep your kitchen clean and sink shiny, and lay out your clothes for tomorrow.

7. You don't feel like doing anything. Put on your lace up shoes and this will help you to get things done. If you wear shoes in the house then get a pair that you only wear in the house! This is going to change everything! Shoes tell your head that it is time to do something.

8. My routine takes too long. Your routine is too big. Break it down to the main components and try a simplified version. My takes 20 minutes tops unless I need to shower in the morning(I usually take a
bubble bath at night.)Then I take 30 minutes. The best part is, if I have done my before bed routine, the morning is a breeze.

9. You don't have the energy to do the routines. (are you getting enough sleep?) Are you going to bed at a decent hour and getting up rested.

10. You still don't feel well. Even getting enough rest and eating properly. Well I suggest you have a physical, check your thyroid levels, other chemical levels in your blood. You deserve to feel well. I want you to be on top of the world. I am. Promise me that you will get a doctor's appointment and get this checked out. Even low average thyroid levels can cause fatigue.

11. You don't have time, because you are spending too much time on the computer and Facebook. Well I spend a whole lot more than most of you on the computer. My house is clean enough for company all the time and I have no guilt about being on the computer, because I got my work done first. Well make a rule that you will not check your email until your routine is done in the morning. and that you will get off line at a decent hour to start your before bed routine. You can do this. Even if you have to set a timer.

You have made the first step, by joining this group.

Open up your wings, It's time to FLY,

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We are all looking for that magic potion or the magic wand that is going to get your home clean. The secret to getting your home in order is moving your arms and legs.

So another way to look at this is your arm is the magic wand! When you it things get done.

How do you clean a shower door? With your hand! I know this may seem too simple to you, but those babysteps work. We have been looking for that chemical solution that is miraculously remove that soap residue. Nothing works better than the up and down motion of elbow grease. We don't give you cleaning tips; we motivate you to get up and do something.

Think about this! In our perfectionism we want to see everything clean at once. What is so hard in today's society is to have the time to get it done to please the perfectionist inside of us. So what do we do, we do nothing. Why should we waste a whole Saturday having fun with our families in order to clean? Babysteps will work if you will do them.

So think about how the soap residue got there; every day when you are in the shower you leave just a little on the door. Why can't you just turn that around and every day when you are in the shower, take a little of that soap film with you! Get a loofa sponge, purple rag, or a scrubber even the ones you use in the shower to make those wonderful bubbles will work too. Keep it in the shower and then use the same soap you used on your body, on the shower doors. Yes it is just that simple. The power comes from your arm not the chemical.

Soap is soap! You don't have to use harsh chemicals to clean the door. Do one little section at a time. Try for the size of a dinner plate. Spend just a minute or two. Do not obsess about this. A little scrubbing every day will make the soap film go away. Guess what; you won't get chemical pneumonia either from breathing those strong chemicals. Beside a couple more minutes in the shower is not going to hurt you!

Then after a few weeks you will have the worst part of it done. Then you can wax the doors with glass wax or liquid car wax. This will keep the soap film from being so hard to get off the next time. Now don't complain about hard water: the scrubbing works for that too. Hard water stains are just calcium deposits that have been left after the water evaporates. I once had to use a wood chisel to get those out of a toilet bowl. There was no chemical that would magically eat them away, but the chisel just popped them off. A sharp knife works too. Just be gentle and careful.

I just want you to quit looking for that magic fix and do a babystep!

Are your ready to FLY by taking those simple little babysteps?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

January Zone 5 and February Zone 1 Missions

Zone 5: Mission #1 Monday

Let's have a Fire Drill! Go get the hotspots cleared off in your Living Room and or Family Room! You know the piles that I am talking about. The ones that just grow and grow!! Put that fire out!Take 10 minutes and put things away where they belong and toss the rest.

Zone 5: Mission #2 Tuesday

Today is our last day in the Living Room! Let's have a detailed vacuuming session. This means to vacuum the room, making sure to get up against the baseboards and to get under the furniture. Please be careful that you don't hurt yourself trying to move furniture. If it is too difficult to get under the couch or chairs then just try to get as close to the base of the furniture as you can.

Zone 5: Mission #3 Wednesday

Today we are going after the hidden clutter in these rooms. Take a look around you and see what is laying around that is really clutter but because you have become so used to it being there you don't see it as clutter. Have you purged those magazines and books lately? How about the videos, dvd's and cd's? Are they strewn in piles all over because they belong in these rooms you don't see them anymore? Your mission for today is to set your timer for 15 minutes and go after the "hidden" clutter in these rooms. You will be amazed at how much neater the rooms look when you tackle this. Do not get obsessed and take apart the whole room. This is about progress NOT perfection. Just tackle one thing at a time!

Zone 5: Mission #4 Thursday

Back to the Living Room we go! One of my favorite missions for the living room is to go sofa and chair diving! This is where we start digging through the furniture and pluck out the cheerios and old socks. I am always amazed at how much stuff I can pull out of the couch in just one short month!

Zone 1: Mission #1 Friday

We are in the Entrance, Front Porch, and Dining Room for three days this week lets make them really count! The Mission for today has a effect on your whole house and I think we need to address it. We hare going to clean our furnace vents. It does not matter if they are near the floor or ceiling get your duster and clean those off. Since today is our Anti-procrastination day let's take on the vent fans in the bathrooms too. I have this mission on my calendar for every month.
Pamper Mission
January 27, 2019

One of my favorite ways to pamper my face is to apply a facial mask. Why not pick up one at the drug store when you’re out this week and enjoy a mini spa treatment at home? If you would rather use products you already have at home, try using Milk of Magnesia on your face if you have oily skin. If you have drier skin, try mixing a few drops of honey with a few drops of water and patting that on your face. Allow your mask to stay on your face for 20-30 minutes and then rinse away. Taking a few moments to pamper you skin can make you look younger, your skin feel softer, and adds a glow to your face.

Take time for you! You deserve it!

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We are the queens of procrastination! We put off till the last minute most everything we do. I know every reason in the world because I have used them.
1. I don't have time right now.
2. Oh I have two weeks to pay that bill
3. It's OK if I am late no one will notice
4. I can wait to write my essay; I have all day
5. Dinner isn't till 6:00 pm I have all day
6. I can wash those clothes later.
7. The car can be inspected next week.
8. I don't have time to get gas right now; I am in a hurry.
9. I have 15 more minutes before I need to get dressed

Why do we do this to ourselves? We get agitated, stressed out and just plain mean. All we have ever done is jump from one deadline to the next, putting out the one fire that needed the most attention. The adrenalin pumping through our veins gives us the energy to get things done! We knew no other way to live.

Our routines give us a different type of power! It is the power of peace! When we slow down and focus getting the daily things done it frees us to look ahead. Everything has a place and everything in its place. This adage helps us get rid of our clutter. There is another old saying that can help us too. It is a stitch in time saves nine. There are a lot of these. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

I know you want to stop this vicious cycle and you can't possibly see how shining your sink has anything at all to do with getting off the Adrenalin IV. It all begins with one habit. That shiny sink helps your kitchen stay clean. When your kitchen is clean; you don't mind cooking. When meals are planned you feel better, because you are eating well and taking care of you and your family. When the kitchen is clean you have more time to focus on another area of the house. Each little habit you establish adds a peace to your life!

These habits put together become your routines and your routines put your home on automatic pilot! You get up in the morning and do the same thing every single day without having to think. Our routines free us to take care of those stitches when we see something that needs doing. We don't have to put it off till another day!

It is so peaceful to accomplish something when you are not under the stress of a deadline. Working with a Grace Period instead of under fire! There is one little warning I have to give you. We are so used to not doing things till the last minute that we will forget that we have done them. You will feel that little surge of panic kick in and then when you realize that it is already done you can celebrate.

Are you ready to work with a Grace Period instead of under a Deadline?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

We don't have to leave a legacy of clutter for our family. We can take a new approach to releasing this stuff from our lives. Let's use our creative minds to help us.

Every day we get an email that begs for help because this FlyBaby is moving. Moving is tough but living with our clutter is not living at all. We don't have to move to get rid of our clutter and show our homes. I am going to write a new essay on Let's Pretend to Move!

Now put on your imagination and play with me for a while.

So you are moving!!! Don't let it scare you to death. It is just like any other project that we undertake and we won't need an undertaker when we are finished either.

I have one rule to follow!
If you don't love it; leave it.

You can't afford to move it, especially if you are paying by the pound. This is exactly how you have to think about things with a big cross country move.

I am going to be pretty tough here. All that really matters is that you have your family with you. Every thing else you have in your home is just STUFF and can be replaced if need be. The thought of starting over is too much to consider sometimes, but right now in the world many people are doing just that with the clothes on their back: Fire, flood, divorce, death, or financial problems. You name it, this happens all the time. You have even done it. I have done it three times in my life. Guess what! It didn't kill me either! I had a choice, many people are not that blessed.

It is much easier to declutter when you are not forced into it by extenuating circumstances. This is why I have tried to teach you to do it in babysteps, so you don't even realize it is happening. Who on earth misses a grocery bag of clutter, when it leaves your home one bag a day! Imagine 365 of those bags tied up and piled in your living room floor. That is a lot of stuff. Now think about every time you come home from the store with more bags of stuff. No wonder we don't have a place for every thing. The old stuff is taking over your home and the new stuff has no home. STUFF is everywhere!

When we have nothing, we want more stuff. We think that stuff will make us feel better. All stuff really does is give us a false sense of security. So we go out and spend more money to buy the stuff to fill up the hole that eats away at our soul. The more stuff we have the safer we feel. We fill our homes with more gadgets to make our life easier, when in the long run they take up space and don't really work that well. After a while of filling that hole with stuff; it begins to weigh you down. It keeps you from enjoying your home and your family. It keeps you from being light on your feet and before you know it, you are sinking into the pits of despair. The stuff you had really wanted is causing your health, family and home to pay the toll. Then we rent storage units to put all of the stuff that is over flowing from our homes. That costs us more money that we have to steal from our family: just to hold our stuff.

Just think back to a time when you were starting over. It has taken years to accumulate all the things that you have. I want you to look very closely at this stuff. How has it come into your lives? I'll bet that most of it has been given to you. Hand-me-downs, inherited from your parents. Then the rest has come from garage sales. How many of the items in your home have a special meaning? Do they tell a story that brings a smile to your face or does it make you feel bad when you look at it.

Our "poor me" attitude has caused us to be surrounded by so much STUFF! Do you know what the term STUFF stands for: Something That Undermines Family Fun! Think about the money that it takes to take care of your STUFF: store it, clean it, organize it, and move it. STUFF is clutter to me and clutter cannot be organized. Do you hear me! All you can do is get rid of it; One little bag at a time or one dumpster at a time. I don't care how you do it; it just has to be done to make room for you and your family and the love that you have for one another.

All any of us need in our lives are food, clothing, shelter and love! The comforts of home! Not a storage place for STUFF. Over the last several years, we have slowly decluttered our home. It is an on-going process! I mean this.

When we bring home a new item, an old one has to go. Now we only have items in our home that bring a smile to our face. Most of our belongings we have accumulated in the last six years; One item at a time. During the first of our marriage, I was still in my "ole poor me" mode and we would buy pallet lots of stuff at estate auctions and come home and try to make a place for it all. It has taken me the better part of 4 years to slowly get rid of other people's stuff from our home. Now we only have those special items that make us smile. Since I have quit buying just anything to fill a hole, I have found that I have more time and money for the necessitates of life; That is love!

Now back to the reason for this essay! Let's pretend we are moving. This means taking a long hard look at our stuff and deciding if we truly love it, use it regularly, or just think we need it. Now don't get all upset. Heirlooms are special, but if you keep them just "because" and you don't really love them, then they are taking the place of something that could really bring a smile to your face.

I have heard of a sad story of a wealthy family that upon the death of the grandmother and during the funeral, one of the daughters had
the horse hair sofas(all six of them) removed from the estate. They were supposed to be very special. As a result those sofas could never be gotten rid of by the only child of this greedy person. Those sofas were just clutter that could not be used and ended up in one room filled with more stuff. Upon his death, the stuff was all auctioned off. How sad to be saddled with someone else's prizes and never really have anything of your own.

I want for you what I have; Peace and this peace came from letting go of bad memories and everything that did not bring a smile to my face. Let go and live a life that is filled with love!

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

[SAR01]

Dear Friends,

What is it about sleep! We hate to go to bed at night but then in the morning we can't pour ourselves out of bed! I can tell you all about this. In our perfectionism we want do to one more thing before we go to bed and it gets later and later. When we finally do crawl underneath the covers our bodies are starving for the sleep we have been deprived of. No wonder we don't want to wake up when the alarm clock goes off at dawn. I can hear you now; just a few more minutes.

Our children had bedtimes. We can't wait to put them down to bed so we can have our alone time. Why don't you have a bedtime too! Going to bed is not difficult if you plan for it! This is what our Before Bed Routine is all about; gearing down your body so you can sleep when you finally do get to bed.

Sleep is a nutrient to your body just like food and water. When you sleep your body repairs itself. When you don't get enough rest your body feels like you are being tortured. Why do we torture ourselves every day by not getting enough rest? I know your excuses. There are not enough hours in a day to get everything done. This does not give you the right to rob your sleep account to pay for your too busy schedule.

Let's look at what happens when you don't go to bed at a decent hour and get your rest.

The first thing that happens is we don't want to get up in the morning so we hit the snooze button several times. By the time we finally do get up we are running late already. Our bodies are stressed enough since we didn't get enough sleep and then we add to that pressure cooker by being late and rushing. Can you just feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins? I am getting stressed out just writing this because I have lived it. Then next thing we do is add to our adrenaline addiction with a caffeine fix. Before you know it; you are buzzing and everyone around you is walking on eggshells because they don't want to poke the bear.

Then you hop in the car still rushing and half dressed. You have to run back into the house because you forgot your keys and purse and the stress is mounting. Since you were in such a hurry; you didn't eat any breakfast. Now you are running on empty and you are praying that your car is not on empty either, because who has time to stop and get gas. This is when we are pushing the limits of our cars and our bodies.

This kind of stress causes more accidents than anything. Why do we do this to ourselves every single day all in the name of perfectionism? We need our rest and we can't play catch up on the weekends to get it. Start your Before Bed Routine right after dinner. Slow down your thinking by reading or listening to music. Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. Put the things you need to take with you by the door. We call this our launch pad. Now here is the most important thing to do. Set a bedtime for yourself. Yes I know you think you are an adult now and don't need a bedtime; but you really do! Do it for your body, mind and spirit and for those around you! Getting enough sleep will make you a different person! Think about your child when they didn't get their naps.

Are you ready to FLY by Finally Loving Yourself enough to go to bed at a decent hour?

FlyLady