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Post by SAR01 on Jan 30, 2019 11:55:41 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Everyday someone complains about having to get rid of things. They have the don't wannas! Do you fall into this category too?
We have been living or shall I say just existing in our clutter. It has defined our lives. We have messed with it and sorted it into piles! We have moved it from one room to another room. Eventually, it gets moved to the garage, basement, storage shed, or storage unit. Why do we do this to ourselves?
I will tell you why! You are afraid you might need it one day! That is such a sad way to live. For me that is akin to living without a faith in our heavenly Father.
Clutter is a tool of the evil one to separate us from our family and our God. Here is what clutter does to you!
It occupies your time.
It keeps you from having people over! (Fear of what they will think)
The quest for more clutter keeps you away from home. Yard Sales
We don't have faith that God will provide when something is needed.
Makes us tired. Just looking at it zaps our energy levels.
It costs you money to store? Your home is a valuable asset. You are using it as a storage unit.
If you have a storage unit; it is really costing you big bucks.
It occupies every cubic foot of storage space in your home.
You can't find things when you need them.
You don't have defined places for your stuff.
It becomes a war of will with your family; creating arguments.
Here are some simple tips to declutter and keep clutter at bay!
Be kind to yourself. If you aren't ready to let it go then don't beat yourself up. Establish a place for the item. One day you will be ready. I promise. Clutter comes off in layers.
Don't pull everything out of the closet into the bedroom. That is your perfectionism. Plucking out items that you don't use is a great way to start.
Set your timer for 5 minutes or 15 minutes.
Have a trash bag handy, a Give-Away Box, and a Put-Away Box.
Pick up an item and decide if you love it. If not you know what to do.
When a Give-Away Bag is full! Take it to the car to donate. No piling in the front room or garage for an eventual yard sale.
Put the trash in the trash can. Tie it up so no one will be tempted to rescue it.
Declutter something every day! I like to go by our zones. Every month we cycle through them and each month you are more likely to be ready to let it go.
If you bring home something new; get rid of two like items.
Evenutally decluttering will become a way of life. You deserve a home that blesses you!
Practice having fun decluttering. I like to put on my favorite hymns and sing out loud. This way it almost becomes a cleansing process for your home and your soul.
Your home is going to become that place of peace you have been searching for. You have been living in your refuge for a long time. Let's open up our arms to the joy that comes from blessing others with your abundance.
FlyLady
We want everything, and we want it right now, don't we? Perhaps it is our perfectionism that causes us to feel this way.
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 2, 2019 14:05:40 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
I have been accused of not supporting recycling efforts to protect the environment. All I can say to that is BOLOGNA! I do not apologize for my attitude about this subject. The clutter has got to be eliminated from your home any and every way possible.
We recycle most everything in our home. I would say that we only throw out a few bags of real trash a year. Now don't tell me I don't support recycling. As a precious elected county commissioner, I know first hand how much trash cost us for every ton that goes into the landfill. I hate it, but trash is part of life and we have to learn how to deal with it.
I have been teaching you that giving things away blesses others and yourself, but what if the stuff you have is not worth giving, even to a charity. Many charities have complained that when people donate bags of clothing and broken stuff to them, it cost them a lot money to dispose of the trash. There is no way for you know where to donate or sell bulk clothing that is worn out and beyond recycling. So don't overwhelm charities with your responsibility for putting this in the landfill where it belongs. You saved it, so you should take responsibility for your own trash. This means paying for the right to dispose of it properly.
I am all for saving the environment, but if you have been holding on to stuff because you don't know where or how to get rid of it, then your home has become just like a landfill. No one wants to live in a DUMP! I know you have boxes of clothes and stuff that have not been opened for decades. It is time to release this stuff once and for all. There is no sense in making your children go through this clutter after you are dead and gone. Some of you have had to deal with your parent's stockpiles. You know how overwhelming this job can be.
By all means donate all the usable clothing and appliances, have a free yard sale or give items to friends. Be careful not to lay guilt trips on your family members or your friends, give them permission to say, " No Thank You!"
Your personal landfill is killing you. I want this trash out of your home once and for all! If I can impress upon you how dangerous it is to live in house that is filled to the brim with this unwanted, unloved energy sucking monster, I have done my job! Not only is it a hazard to your mental well being, it is a serious hazard to your safety as well; fire hazards, unsanitary, toxins, structural for your home, and attracts rodents. Now what does this sound like to you? A landfill or dumping ground! You got it sister!
Now your home did not become the landfill overnight, it took years and it is not going to get clean in a day! DO YOU HEAR ME! So don't try to do this yesterday!
This is also going to be hard to face your mountain of clutter! You are going to want to beat yourself up about all of this stuff you have hoarded. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE CLUTTER MONSTER'S WAY OF STOPPING YOU FROM EVICTING HIM! This is his evil ploy to discourage you. You are also going to be dredging up old memories that are sometimes hard to deal with. Let it out, cry if you need to, but purge these sad momentos so you never have to be reminded of them again. I only want you surrounded by things that give you joy and build you up. There is no room in your life for those memories of sad times. Free yourself to FLY!
Where do you start!
1. You get dressed to shoes, fix your hair and face and do your morning routine, including starting supper! Now you do understand this, don't you!
2. If you are one of the people who needs to marathon declutter, then by all means, back your truck up to the house and start to load it up with your trash. I know you have tons of it. For now, don't worry about recycling, because your health is more important to me then the fact that you will be adding one more ton to the landfill. Do not email me complaining about my attitude. Sometimes it takes a good purge to get you started on a way of life that includes recycling and shopping with the environment in mind. Right now you can't even think past your next hour, much less deal with the problems of the world. So get over your guilt about this and start to live. You and the world will be much better off when you do. Besides charity starts at home, so does your environmental consciousness. How can you save the world, if you haven't saved yourself first?
3. If you can afford to order a dumpster. Do it! We did this a few years ago during our remodel. It was the smartest thing we ever did for our construction crew and ourselves. It was expensive, but worth every penny. By this time we had recycled most everything we could and now all we had to do was purge the junk that was in our basement. These were things that Robert finally decided had no useful life.
4. I am not fond of yard sales, because they have a way of beating you up even more. You are never going to get what you paid for it at a yard sale! This leaves you feeling defeated by the whole process. If you give things away, you will be blessed by giving to those in need. Try this sometime. Just set a table up with items to give away. Just see who shows up and how you can bless them with your excess. The stories and the lives you touch will stay with you forever. Not only will you be helping others, you will be helping yourself and your spirit. Lighten your load!
5. When you move items from one room to another, (the garage) in hopes of having a yard sale SOMEDAY! This guilt will eat at you too. The whole process becomes overwhelming. You have to price stuff and organize it, publicize it; the list goes on and on. Where do you start? Suze Orman taught me this. Let go of it and bless others. Just set up a table and put a sign on it that say FREE! The items will leave so fast your head will spin. Just wait and see.
6. What if you can't do a marathon decluttering, then take it one day at a time; as one member put it. It is like an alcoholic in AA. You have to take it a day at a time, control the urge to hold on to clutter by letting go of a little each day. This is how I decluttered our home, one 27 fling boogie a day; sometimes two or more. We have also added 5 minute dungeon duties to help with the process. Our first suggestion is to get the main areas of your home decluttered so you can start to enjoy the peace that this affords you. This peace gives you the incentive to declutter more and more.
7. During this process, always get dressed and do your routines before starting to declutter. All it takes is 15 minutes a day of decluttering to make a lasting impact on your home and life. Establish your routines and include these 15 minutes each day and before long, you will start to see major progress.
So the bottom line is get rid of the clutter any way you can; marathon decluttering or with the gradual approach. I don't care which you are using; keep in mind as you bring something home, get rid of two items. This will help control future clutter problems. What ever you do, it is the consistency that will make the difference. Your routines are the stability that allows your home to come together. We have all marathon cleaned to get ready for company.
I call marathon cleaning, "Stash and Dash"! When you are marathon decluttering, you are not stashing anymore. The clutter is leaving your home. I have one big warning in all of this. Do not crash and burn! Take plenty of breaks and don't pull out more than you can put back in an hour. THIS MEANS ONLY CLEAN ONE SHELF AT A TIME OR ONE DRAWER AT A TIME, NOT THE WHOLE CLOSET! I hope I can make this very clear to you! When we get into our all or nothing attitudes, this is when we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by the whole process and give up!
I want you to put on your blinders and quit looking at the immobilizing job of the whole house and only concentrate on little bitty bites at a time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ON THIS??? This attitude is what got your home in the shape it is in! It is called perfectionism. All of us have it! Let go of it and learn to FLY!
Be aware that decluttering is contagious!
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 3, 2019 11:59:59 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Some of you still don't believe me when I say that you cannot organize clutter; you can only get rid of it! For the life of me I can't understand why you won't just try it. I have given you little assignments to clear off areas so that you can feel the difference the free space has on your life. Yet you are still refusing to let it go!
The result in not releasing your clutter is that you are not finding success with your routines and you are not FLYing yet. The guilt is weighing you down. You are blaming everyone but yourself for the problems you are having. Some of you blame our emails and complain that they are the clutter, while others of you blame your spouse or children. The truth is you are the problem because you will not let it go!
So what are you afraid of! Missing out of some piece of news, maybe needing it one day and you will not be able to afford it again or what about the continual guilt trip you put yourself on when you see the item and remember how much you wasted on it!
Clutter is a chain that keeps you from FLYing! It has you locked down and suffering! Clutter has become the prison that you try to live in. You are the only one that can open the doors and fling that stuff out of your life. Once you start you are not going to believe how free your home feels.
Don't wait two years to get this message drilled through your head. Start today; 15 minutes at a time and peel back the layers of your guilt and fear! Your home can be a haven of security in troubled times or it can be a prison!
It is your choice!
Fear and clutter are your jailers! They want you chained down and tied to them! When you finally decide to break those chains you are going to see everything differently. I know you don't believe that your stuff is doing this to you, but take my word and the words from our testimonials. Clutter and fear own you unless you decide for yourself that you are tired of being a slave to them!
With your clutter out of the way; routines become so easy. Weekly home blessing hour is a breeze and all of a sudden you have more time than you ever dreamed to do the fun things in life. Being beaten down by your clutter has taken its toll on you for the last time.
Make a stand against their evil plan and fight for your life! Toss it out 15 minutes at a time! You can do this! Set your timer and ask yourself those important questions.
Do I love you; Do you make me smile; Do I have a home for you?
Be truthful when answering these questions. The enemy will do everything in their power to make you believe that you love those things more than life itself! If you continue to hold on to them; that is what you are saying! You had rather have your stuff than a life of peace and tranquility.
It is time for you to make a choice! Do you want the peace that we have found or do you want to continue to hang on to the guilt and fear that is holding you down. Let go and find yourself FLYing!
If you have a testimonial about the freedom from your bonds of clutter; please send it to me. Put FREE in the subject line and send it to FlyLady@flylady.net.
Are you ready to FLY Free of your clutter; once and for all!
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 4, 2019 13:18:57 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Last week I implemented my Two Minutes to Peace in my home. Many of you have been using this fun way to get things done. I sit here looking around my home and I don't see anything that makes me feel bad. Here is my list of things I have done for two minutes. Empty the dishwasher Feather Dust Clean off the coffee table and decorate Mop the floors Detail dust end tables Sweep the front porch Sweep the back deck Clean out the refrigerator Wipe down kitchen counters Sweep throw rugs Plant some basil Gather trash Swish and swipe my bathroom Wipe down cat's feeding window Shine my sink Pick a flower for my table Strip our bed Make our bed Clean the ashes out of the fireplace Recycle magazines Water plants Gather items to give away Put a load of clothes in the washer Fold a load of clothes Get cat hair off our red couch Burn paper clutter (identity sensitivity) in our fireplace Shine a window Clean out medicine cabinet Organized closet Straighten under bathroom cabinet Organize the freezer Closed my eyes to rest them Sat on my beautiful front porch and admired our pond and  Make a menu plan for next week Build a grocery list Write for essay Fill up my water bottles Take my supplements Clean the dogs feeding area Clean out the car Planted potatoes in a big pot Posted an essay on our website Unpack a suitcase Repack a suitcase Start dinner in the Crock Pot Put things where they belong Clean out my purse I have been setting my timer for two minutes and even though I know its power, I am blown away by how wonderful our home looks. I have done my weekly home blessing two minutes at a time. I have menu planned two minutes at a time. I have touched each zone in my home for two minutes at a time. I have taken care of me two minutes at a time. I have decluttered two minutes at a time. I have worked in my yard two minutes at a time. I have cleaned my car out two minutes at a time. I have put things back in their place two minutes at a time. So what excuse have you been making? Please try this method. The true power in the two minute challenge is getting up and moving. You will be so surprised at how many steps you can get in each day if you get up and do just two minutes. Each day we have a focus. Just spend 2 minutes on this and your week will be productive. On Friday! It is the day we clean out car, diaper bag, purse, and plan a date with your Sweet Darling. Set your timer and try it two minutes at a time. What can you get done today while I talk with you on our Facebook Live Video Podcast. If you can't figure out what to do next; use my list! You will be just as amazed as I am. Set your timer and get started. Be sure and rest too! My list has been spread out over a whole week. It works out to less than 15 minutes a day. My hotspots are cleared and our home is shining! You can have this too. FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 5, 2019 13:54:26 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
This morning I woke up with Clutter on my brain. I got an email last night from someone that whined that it was really hard for her to get rid of STUFF. She thought that it must be easy for us to do this. The truth is, getting rid of clutter is hard for everyone at first. It does get easier, but as with any new habit we are trying to establish, we have to practice. This is why I teach you to use some of our fun techniques to get rid of your clutter; 27 Fling Boogie or a 5 Minute Room Rescue.
In order to get the clutter out of your home, you have to first attack the clutter that is in your mind. Yes, our stinking thinking is what makes us believe that we will need this someday and how could we even possibly live without having this item in our home. The creative people that we are, sees everything as a potential art project. There are just some things that are plain trash. Then there is the "Ole Poor Me" mindset that does not give yourself credit for being able to provide for your family. This attitude is handed down through the generations because of the struggle our grandparents had during the great depression.
There is also another side of holding on to things! We are hoarding! Yes being selfish with our excesses by not giving our unused items to new homes that need them. Just how many can openers do you really need, not to mention; linens, dishes, and furniture that is overcrowding your home. When we start to look at this type of hoarding then we see that we can bless others with our abundance and then when we need something, it will be provided unto you.
Your clutter is also filled with bad memories. Open up your door and toss those bad, sad, and depressive feelings out! I want you to smile when you walk through your home, not be reminded of sad times.
Letting go of your clutter is difficult at first, but as you start to see a clear area, you will be empowered to do just a little more. Take babysteps and you will find yourself practicing the art of FLINGing. It is so freeing to fling!
Let go of stinking thinking and FLY!
FlyLady
P.S. Donate the clutter; put it by the curb with a FREE sign on it. Watch it FLY away into new homes that really do need it. The more you get rid of the more you are going to save by not buying more clutter.
As this becomes a habit, you will notice that you are more selective about your purchases. Just wait and see just how much money you are going to save by not buying more clutter. Don't stash it in the garage for that yard sale that never happens. The act of not having a yard sale (GUILT) is harder on you than letting go of it. You will no longer feel guilty because of that pile of clutter in your garage. Let it go!
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 6, 2019 10:51:44 GMT -5
Dear Friends, I have been studying the list of stressors and what I am finding is that building your routines and a basic weekly plan will help a long way in getting rid of some of these problems that we create for ourselves. A couple of the major stressors in our lives are money and paperwork. Now I can't  a magic wand and make more money come into your bank account, but I can give you to the tools to help you handle wisely what you do have. In our basic weekly plan we have a couple of days (no not days; just a few minutes on Wednesday and Friday) set aside to pay your bills and put together a grocery list. What you have told me is that you can't understand why you don't just pay your bills when you have the money. Well I understand why! It is called procrastination and lack of an appointed time to sit down and do them. The bills are hiding in a hot spot on the dining table or floating around in the car or heaven forbid your bottomless pit of a purse. So in order to pay a bill you have to be able to find it. Imagine that; knowing where your bills are, where your checkbook is, and how much money is in the bank, and then being able to find a stamp to mail the envelope. If you had all of this in one place then that would be a stressor turned into a blesser. Here is how you do this. When you bring the mail in the house; do not pile it on the dining room table. Open it up immediately; don't set it down thinking you will get to it later! Then get rid of the junk mail and put it in one place. Then when Wednesday or Friday rolls around, you will know where they are and that is one less frustrating step that you have to take to pay them. This is why we developed the Office in a Bag. It doesn't matter what kind of zip up binder you use as long as you keep your necessary items in one place so you can find them. The beauty of using a zip up bag with a carrying strap is that it is portable. So when you have those 15 minutes at soccer practice, your lunch hour or waiting for an appointment; you have everything you need to pay your bills, plan next week's menus and a grocery list. Just look at all the stress you have relieved by putting together this little tool. Not to mention the money you have saved in late fees and over spending at the grocery store once you actually use your basic weekly plan. With menus, a grocery list in hand and a shopping trip; you will no longer find yourself standing in front of your refrigerator at 6:00 pm saying, "What's for dinner?????" That is another one of the big stressors in your lives. There is no magic wand here; it all fits together but you have to start by putting a couple of pieces in place. Imagine all the stressors in your life as a big jigsaw puzzle. When you dump the puzzle out of the box; it is a jumbled mess. Then you start by tuning over all the pieces so you can see them clearly. I think this is what our FlyLady emails and website are all about: Looking at things just a little harder and trying to figure out how it all fits together. Then you start to put the framework together, by finding all the flat sides. This is your routines, basic weekly plan, taking care of yourself, decluttering and keeping that sink shining. Before you know it; the outside frame is put together and you start filling in the various sections. Each little section is one of these stressor that play havoc with your health and life. As you put in place one little section at a time (these are the areas of your life and home that have been in CHAOS) your puzzles gets easier and easier to fill in the missing pieces. The finished puzzle is a picture of peace for your life. I know this sounds kind of simple but it really is. If you will just start with building your framework of your simple routines (Control Journal), get dressed to shoes each morning and keep your sink shiny; then you will begin to feel a sense of accomplishment and some of your stress will go away! Are you ready to turn the stressors in your life into blessers? FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 8, 2019 12:34:57 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Did you know that when you are FLYing you are saving money? I want to discuss some of these money saving habits we can help you establish.
Decluttering 15 minutes a day! How can this save you money; I know you are thinking this? The act of decluttering makes you more particular about what you buy and bring into your home. This amazing thing happens because you begin to love yourself and the way your home looks. You have to really need something to buy it! Shopping becomes something you do because you don't need a diversion from being at home feeling guilty about your clutter and all the stuff you buy because it is on sale. If you did not spend $20 a week on more clutter then you would have saved $1040 a year.
Picking out your clothes as part of your before bed routine! This simple action will give you more time in the morning so you can fix your breakfast and a cup of coffee before you head off to work. No more stopping for expensive drive thru breakfasts and designer coffees. You have to pleasure of a peaceful morning with your life under control along with your finances. If you spend $5 a day on a drive thru breakfast and a coffee then you could have saved $1300 in a year.
Planning your menus for next week and preparing a grocery list before you go shopping can help too. This keeps you from going to the grocery store multiple times each week. This alone can save you $50 a week. There is hardly anyway to keep from spending less than that each time you go to the store. If you are cooking then you are saving more money by not getting takeout from restaurants. That could alone could save you another $25 a week. This amounts to $3900 for a year.
Wearing good shoes for your feet help in lots of ways! Good shoes gives you more energy and keeps you from breaking toes and cutting your precious feet. More energy helps you to exercise more and take better care of yourself; this saves on doctor bills. One co-pay for an office visit could save you $20 a month. A broken foot could set you back $1500 for an emergency room visit. Shoes save you more than you would ever think about. $1740 is amazing when a good pair of shoes could runs around $50. What an investment! This doesn't even count the money you save because of the energy you have to keep your home in order.
Next let's look at how much you save by paying your bills on time and not running up your credit cards. One late charge a month or an over draft fee is could run into $100 dollars a month. If there is one there are usually many. You are having to rob Peter to pay Paul. Stay on top of your bills and paying things on time is a major way to save money while FLYing! $1200 is a small amount to save when we examine what we really spend in those fees and interest rates. I haven't even figured the cost of the fuel for all those extra trips to the grocery store, to pay a bill before the power gets turned off, doctor visits and fast food trips.
So you see with these five simple habits you can save lots of money! FLYing makes good financial sense!!. We have been stealing from ourselves for a very long time with our perfectionism.
Are you ready to FLY and save money too?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 9, 2019 19:15:10 GMT -5
February Zone 3 Missions
Zone 3: Mission #1 Monday This week we will be in zone 3, the Main Bathroom and another room. For today let's stay in the Bathroom only. The mission today is to wash the shower door or shower curtain. If your shower curtain is plastic and you can afford to replace it, put that on your list to pick up Thursday. If you can not afford just clean it the best you can with some cleaner and a rag or put it in the washing machine.
Zone 3: Mission #2 Tuesday Today we are going to make time for the office. I want you to pick a pile and set your timer for 15 minutes to go through it. Don't pick up more than you can get through in 15 minutes. I do not want you to overwhelm yourself. Rely on your timer for this mission.
Zone 3: Mission #3 Wednesday Since tomorrow is errand day, I want you to get under your bathroom sink to see what you need on the list. Check mouthwash, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and toothpaste. Do you have any empty bottles, or items you do not love? Toss them out!
Zone 3: Mission #4 Thursday Today is double duty with the main bathroom and laundry room. Take the rugs from your bathroom and wash them. Before you start the rugs in the wash wipe down the top and front of your washer and dryer. Then throw the rags in with the rugs from the bathroom! If you do not have any rugs in the bathroom, take this time to reboot your laundry. Don't forget to wipe down the washer and dryer though!
Zone 3: Mission #5 Friday Today is gong to be an easy one! Today I want you to empty the garbage in the bathroom, laundry room, extra bedroom, and the office. I usually get one kitchen trash bag and empty all of them in it so I only have 1 bag to take out!
Pamper Mission
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 13, 2019 12:09:38 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Our procrastination is fueled by our perfectionism. We get caught in the trap of thinking we don't have time to do it right. This is when we do nothing. Eventually the procrastination bites us hard and our homes become overwhelming. Isn't this why you searched the internet looking for an answer to your messy house? We give you to the tools but the most important part is the attitude adjustment you manifest in your head. You read what we write for you and use those messages to eliminate your perfectionism. It doesn't happen overnight. Your home did not become cluttered in a day and it is not ever going to be that ideal of "Perfect"! Perfect is a myth you only see in pictures of magazines. It is a word that I despise because of what it does to my FlyBabies. We so want to get it all together and feel good about our homes. We just never dreamed that in the process of getting our homes clean we would find ourselves. Our perfectionism piggy-backed with procrastination put us in a coma. We don't know how to make a decision so it is just easier to do nothing. Sometimes we just want someone to tell us where to start and what to do. I think this is why our message has touched so many people. We give you a starting place and tell you that you can do anything for 15 minutes. In the time it takes to talk ourselves out of doing something we could have the job done. You know the dialog. It has become invisible to our thinking processes because we have played it out over and over each time something needs to be done. We hear ourselves saying we don't have time. Those words are the first red  for us. If you would set your timer at the moment those words cross your lips or enter your mind you would feel so much better. No more procrastinating. I don't have time has turned into do it now! Do it now is doing something! Sometimes it is just putting away one item but it is something! Sometimes it is decluttering one item; one bag or one box. Celebrate your Go Me accomplishments. They don't have to be perfect or even finished to be a reason to throw your arms up in the air and yell Go ME! Getting up is better than being paralyzed in a chair saying I don't have time. It is time to stop procrastinating! This week is for all of the procrastinators who have not been decluttering. You can do it! Just do something! You will feel better! We are getting rid of 40 Boxes in 40 Days! Are you ready to FLY free of the clutter? FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 19, 2019 22:00:17 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Do you ever feel like you are sinking? And you are going down for the last time and no one is there to save you! In fact the whirlpool is about to suck you into the dark abyss. This is how we all feel when we are living in CHAOS! The whirlpool is the vicious cycle we are living in and we don't know how to stop it! You can't even remember how you got into the dangerous waters in the first place! I can tell you exactly why! Procrastination! You didn't want to look at the problem so you put it off. You probably still don't want to address the issues that are pulling your under! But we do this every single day. You see it is not one thing that is pulling you down is all the things that got our homes in the shape they are in! Everything is connected and one thing starts getting sucked into the whirlpool the rest will follow! UNLESS you start to pull your own self out one bad habit at a time. I know you don't believe me, but as strange as it may seem, FLYing can give you the life preservers when nothing else will! We put off paying bills! We put off buying groceries! We put off planning menus! We put off doing our taxes! You name it we can find a way and an excuse for putting it off! We have to stop this right now! Just stopping one thing will keep your head above water. Wednesday is always Anti-procrastination day, menu planning day and clean out the refrigerator day. Look at what taking care of these things will do for this whirlpool you have gotten yourself into. With the refrigerator cleaned out, you can see what food you need to buy, what you need to use up and what leftovers can be used in a pot of soup. Just the act of doing it starts your mind thinking about menus and a grocery list. While you are cleaning out the refrigerator, keep your grocery list handy so you can jot down a few ideas for next week's meals. Now after you have cleaned out the refrigerator, sit down with a cup of  for 10 minutes and think about what you can cook next week. Having groceries in the house is half the battle to cooking. When you don't have it on hand it is just much easier to call for pizza or takeout! Which is why you are gaining weight and losing money; could this be a reason you are in the whirlpool in the first place? Think about the life preserver of just cleaning out the refrigerator: could this be the key to not falling into the abyss! You have it in your head that menu planning it going to take a long time, it is hard or that you have people that won't eat what you cook. Your excuses are just another form of whining and procrastination. If the truth be told, menu planning only takes about seven minutes if you will do it. Eventually you will have several week's worth of menus and grocery lists that you can recycle and not even have to go through this process except to clean out the refrigerator so you won't forget to utilize some produce. Cleaning out the refrigerator along with menu planning saves you money! This is money that can be used to pull yourself out of this whirlpool. You have to start someplace! So go clean out your refrigerator! My hand is out; grab it and we will FLY together! FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 20, 2019 12:23:24 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
It is so much easier to clean in a room without clutter. Don’t get overwhelmed by all the clutter; 15 minutes a day over what you do in your routines. I know you don’t think this is going to work, but I promise that those 15 minutes of concentrated decluttering every day will make a difference in your home and your attitude. It is the consistency of eating the elephant one bite at a time that will slowly make the whole elephant disappear.
I have a story to tell you about my Sweet Darling. He is the king of the one bite rule. Several years ago he had a British Sports car; an MG. In fact the car was always being worked on. After a minor car accident the MG was totaled.
So he bought a second car the same model for parts. He is pretty good at fixing anything. It took both cars to keep just one running. He was left with only the stripped down parts car. Over an entire summer, he systematically cut that car(with a hack saw) into dinner plate sized parts and sent it to the landfill one plate at a time. It was his goal to do something to dismantle this car each day. At the end of the summer he was finished. It was almost therapy for my sweetie: the car had betrayed him. That car was a pain and he got rid of it one bite at a time. Beware of the anger of a patient man.
The reason I mentioned this story, is because in our impatience to see our homes clean, we over-do. Then we get overwhelmed and we QUIT. I want you to do a little every day and not crash and burn: BabySteps, 15 minutes of decluttering and consistency will be the keys to your clean home and your peace.
If you are not being consistent with your routines, even small ones, then you are not going to have your goal of a clean and peaceful home. This hit and miss attitude is what got your home in a mess to start with. You clean like a banshee for two days because of guests, and then when they leave, you let things go to pot because you are worn to a frazzle.
This has got to stop; I want you to enjoy your home, your family and your guests. You can’t do this if you are exhausted. I want your pledge to stop, “crisis cleaning”. That you will commit to doing your routines DAILY, and that you will spend 15 minutes decluttering each day.
I am not the drill sergeant that many of you think I am. I don’t spend all day cleaning. Even when I was decluttering I only did 15 minutes a day. I used the 27 Fling Boogie to declutter our home. It was almost as if I didn’t clean at all.
After three months of decluttering every day and doing my routines, our home became a paradise, instead of the pig sty that is was. Every morning and walk into a clean and shining home and it is still a big shock and a GO ME moment for me. I would walk into my clean kitchen and just smile. Some of you know what I am talking about. It is a pleasure to not be greeted by mystery water and yesterday’s dirty dishes and feel like you are behind before you even make your coffee.
I want you to smile when you walk into your kitchen each morning. Visualize your clean and peaceful home. Let go of your perfectionism and impatience and take babysteps. You can do this; if you will just eat this elephant one bite at a time.
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 22, 2019 15:15:38 GMT -5
Dear Friends, I am hearing some bad things from you. " I don't have time to take care of MYSELF!" My children just started football, soccer,  , etc. My job just started. or I have family in the hospital. NOW HEAR THIS!!! IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOU WILL BE FORCED INTO DOING THIS THE HARD WAY! YOU WILL GET SICK. You all have had this happen. Every thing piles up on you and you don't know where you are going to get another minute in your day and then all of a sudden you are coming down with something. A stomach virus, a cold, flu some kind of sickness and you are in the bed. This is our body saying, "SLOW DOWN!" If we don't take care of ourselves, God will do it for us. We push ourselves to the limit, by not going to bed at a decent hour, not eating right and scheduling too much to do. Know your limits, as much as you want to be Super Woman, you are only human. Even in the worst of times, with sick children and family, we can still find a quiet place to just BE! Sit still and Be Calm. This is help. In the work place, OSHA requires employers to give all employees a break in the morning and afternoon. Are you taking your BREAKS!??? Every day I want you to regroup at 10:00am and at 2:00pm. I have to give you a specific time or you will not schedule it into your day. When you see the clock strike 10am, this is your clue to slow down and breathe. Get a cup of something you love and sit quietly. Read, or listen to music. Do not argue with me on this, if you can not do it at these times, then let these times remind you that you will be taking a break within the hour. 10 minutes is not going to kill you, but it could make your day run smoother. Today I had lunch with a friend of mine. We were talking about old friends. Art Rowe retired many years ago from U.S. Forest Service. Our conversation made me remember a story he told me this at a conference I attended. Have you heard the story about the young man that wanted to prove to the Timber boss that he was strong enough to be part of his crew. The boss gave him an axe and sent him to the woods. He cut 8 trees! The next day he went back and he only cut 6 trees, even though he went out early and came in late. The third day, He only cut 4 trees and he had worked harder than ever. The boss just shook his head. Then he told him that the secret was to rest every hour and while you sit, sharpen your axe. The young man never forget the lesson. Sit and Sharpen your AX. Your chores will wait. You will be stronger and more able to stay on task. Catch you Later, FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 24, 2019 11:41:40 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
What is it about change that discombobulates us? Once upon a time our favorite bowling center changed their furniture. The bowling center was purchased by a new owner. He had started to fix up the place and change the rules on us. The previous owner had done the same thing but what was different about these changes this time.
I believe that it was the speed at which they were done. One week we go in to bowl and everything is familiar; the next week the furniture has been moved. That is it. They rearranged the furniture and didn't tell us or let us help. It was just done. If someone came into our home and did this we would not be able to stand it. I understand their right to fix things up and change rules but at whose expense. In the end it will be be theirs because we don't like change.
This is why the gradual approach is much easier for us to take. We don't feel out of place in our own homes. We teach you to declutter for 15 minutes, clear out a hot spot and do a 27 Fling Boogie to release your clutter in babysteps. We don't tell you to back a truck up to the front door and start pitching. That is very difficult. Even the thought of it tears us up on the inside. When we take the gradual approach, it gives our eyes, brains, and bodies time to adjust to little changes. The clutter got there a little at a time. and you can and will
get rid of it one bag or box at a time.
We have all cleaned up an area. We can spend hours doing it, but it won't stay that way very long. We will start to pile it up all over again. All because we did it too fast; we worked too hard and we crashed and burned in the process.
Do a little every day and see the changes start to happen in babysteps. One day you will wake up and your house will be clean and you didn't even know you were doing it. Please don't allow your perfectionism to rip off the clutter that you have been protecting yourself with. Learn about why you collected it and gradually let it go. If you strip it all away, you will just put it back with a vengeance. It is like going on a crash diet. We all have lost the weight but when we stop the diet it all comes back because we didn't address the real problem of why we ate it (collected it) in the first place.
Be good to yourself. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable. The peace will come with consistent babysteps. You can do this.
I think you need a hug! {{{{HUGS}}}
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 26, 2019 12:31:47 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Rainy days used to get me down; not any more. When we have a rainy day in western North Carolina; complete with thunder and lightning. I turn on all my lights and my classical music to fill our spirit. My poor blue tick hound  gets scared but as long as I am right by his side he can tolerate it. What is it about just knowing someone is right beside you that is comforting. My occasionally will poke her nose under my hand and ask for a pat on the head to reassure him. We are like this. There is comfort in knowing there are people all over the world are doing the same thing you are; that others need help too. We are not alone is our rally cry. There are a million of us who need that pat on the head. We have learned that when we take care of ourselves that our houses almost clean themselves. We started this all because we wanted a nice home to bless us. The pats on the back we received were from us. Then what happened. The family started to notice the changes going on in you and in their home. We quit being a martyr and we let go of much of our perfectionism. Slowly the changes we made in ourselves began to reflect just like our kitchen sinks. Do you remember the joy you felt that first morning you walked into your kitchen and found your sink smiling back at you? This is what you do with your family. The stress of a messy cluttered chaotic home is slowly leaving and you are smiling more at your children. They are not walking on eggshells any longer. Your nerves are not stretched to the point of a breaking over a simple glass of spilled milk. You have realized that it doesn't take that long to clean up. With a smile on your face and a chuckle in your  at how you used to be; you hand your child a towel and you both work together to clean it up. No fuss, no muss, just love and laughter. These new behaviors didn't happen over night. They were gradual and because you took the time to establish your routines; you did not crash and burn. Over the years we have tried many systems only to beat ourselves up because we could not stick to them. The problem with a new system, is not with the system, it is with us. We try to do too much too fast and our little wing are not ready to hold us up. We have to take babysteps to change our thinking as well as constructive actions daily to reinforce our new simple habits. These babysteps will change your life if you will not allow your perfectionism to ruin it for you. Have you ever looked at my cartoon character? When the cartoonist was drawing her for the website; he asked me what I did for my ladies. I told him I was their biggest cheerleader. Sometimes I am a drill sergeant keeping time and bossing them around. Then there are other times that I have to scold you for not taking care of yourself; so you see that mommy finger shaking. I told him that when things start coming together in their home; they look at me as a fairy godmother; so he put wings on her. She has on her pearls and earrings, her shoes are laced up and she has a big smile on her face. Just this weekend someone asked me if my cartoon was going to change if I lost all the weight. I told her no, she would not change. All of us identify with her smiling face regardless of her size. There is a large percentage of our members who are dealing with weight issues and other health problems that go along with being overweight. When a new members comes to our door; I want her to realize that she is accepted just the way she is. Our little cartoon does that. She is cheering us on as we put stars on our calendar for moving and she tells us she is so proud of us. We have not heard that often in our lifetimes. This is why I want you to FLY for you! Not for anyone else; just you. The others will be blessed later. You have sacrificed your whole life for everyone around you. You have given, when you had nothing to give and eventually you were left feeling empty. I am here to fill you up with your love and the encouragement that you can do this. You are not alone. We are in this together. I am so proud of each of you for making real changes in your life. Even the smallest of changes are going to reflect to others and that shiny sink is going to be contagious to the rest of your home and your family! Now go shine your sink and remember that babysteps are the key to not crashing and burning. I want you to FLY! The Cure for CHAOS is Yours in 2019! FlyLady |
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 27, 2019 18:10:44 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
In our perfectionism we try to fix things for everyone. I have been a fixer all my life. Most of us are like this. It is who we are, but we have to realize that this trait is not good for us.
Here is what happens. We take on the problems of the world. They can be such tiny problems but when you take on all of them, they weigh you down and keep you from FLYing. All we can really do is effect change in ourselves. The sooner we step out of this virtual reality then the faster we are going to take flight!
Have you ever noticed that when you are carrying the burdens of everyone around you that you catch a cold? I don't quite understand it but here is what I think happens. Worry takes a lot out of us. My grandmother was a worrier. You may not think that it takes any energy to worry but it does; it robs your body of fuel. If you are in a continual worried state or even a plotting state then you are using a lot of adrenaline.
This adrenaline pumping through your veins is keeping you hyped up. This is the same powerful fuel that allows a tiny woman to pick a car up to free a child. When we use it every day it has a way of turning on our bodies. It causes our immune systems to break down and we get sick.
In our perfectionism virtual reality we think we can fix anything. The truth is that we probably can but are we really helping when we do this. Not only does it play havoc with our bodies but it keeps the other person you are trying to fix stuck in their own virtual reality. Think about this for a minute. When you give a man a fish; he will eat for a day. But when you can teach him to fish for himself; he will eat for a lifetime. This is all about learning a new skill.
We need to learn the new skill of letting go of things that we have no control over. The only control we have is over our own thoughts and actions. Just because we can fix something does not mean we have to fix it.
Our perfectionism plays havoc with your children's lives. Let me give you an example of a young woman. Her parents divorced when she was a baby. She was raised by her father and her step-mother. Her step-mother was BO and had no patience to teach her anything. This Flybaby also had the same issues we have with ADD. It was just easier for this stepmom to do it herself.
As a result this FlyBaby lacked even the simplest of skills when it comes to house cleaning. When she was old enough to get her first job; it was in a restaurant being a hostess. She was told that part of her duties were to keep the foyer swept. They handed her a broom and she did not know what to do with it. She was laughed at and ridiculed because she had no skills when it came to sweeping. She came home crying to her real mom that it was a disservice for children to not be taught these things.
Her real mom just cleans in routines and things get done. When this FlyBaby would come to visit everything was always neat and tidy and they played all the time. When she finally came to live with her mom at age 16; her main focus was helping her daughter learn study skills to assist with her learning disability. They worked so hard on getting her grades up that there was never an opportunity for a teaching moment when it came to house cleaning.
Our children are like that butterfly that struggles to get out of the cocoon. If we don't allow them to struggle and pump their life blood into their wings then they are not ever going to FLY. They will not be able to accomplish their passions. When you don't live your dreams you die. We can't do this to them any longer. We have to give them skills.
Let go of your perfectionism virtual reality of being the fix-it person. You don't have to do everything. You can be a mentor and a teacher but you can't be the rescuer. This is a hard lesson for me too.
Are you ready to FLY above your perfectionism?
FlyLady
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for 10 minutes and think about what you can cook next week. Having groceries in the house is half the battle to cooking. When you don't have it on hand it is just much easier to call for pizza or takeout! Which is why you are gaining weight and losing money; could this be a reason you are in the whirlpool in the first place? Think about the life preserver of just cleaning out the refrigerator: could this be the key to not falling into the abyss!
, etc. My job just started. or I have family in the hospital.
gets scared but as long as I am right by his side he can tolerate it.