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Post by SAR01 on Mar 13, 2018 15:36:07 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Our impatience sets us up for failure! This is because of our crash and burn syndrome. We push ourselves too hard in the beginning; you know how this works. Our perfectionism expects us to get a handle on our homes in no time at all!
This is why I keep telling you that your home did not get dirty in a day and it is not going to get clean overnight. Anyone who thinks this is going to happen needs to sit down and have a reality check. We have been living in chaos most of our lives.
At first the chaos was just in one small area of our home and slowly it took over every part of our lives. Chaos breeds more chaos. But here is the miraculous component of our FlyLady routines; as you establish one habit that habit causes chaos to retreat just a little. As chaos recoils to your hidden areas you begin to feel a little ray of hope. That hope gives you courage and your courage gives you energy. Before you know it, your wings are sprouting and everything you touch makes you smile! That smile is what it is all about!
This doesn't happen in a few hours; we have to establish simple little habits to help us. FLYing is more contagious than chaos. Chaos tries to sneak up on us every chance it gets. We are aware of it now and can get out our FlySwatters to keep it at bay!
The best FlySwatter we have is our Control Journals. This is just a simple instruction manual for your home; a binder to hold your simple routines.
A caterpillar doesn't become a butterfly over night. Rome was not built in a day and your homes are not going to be magazine picture perfect just because you found this FlyLady person. We have to exercise patience with ourselves. Patience is kindness! Please be kind to yourself and you will be sprouting your wings.
Are you ready to FLY with your favorite FlySwatter in your hand to keep CHAOS away from you?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 14, 2018 11:48:08 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
In our perfectionism we try to put the cart before the horse. It is our "all or nothing" attitudes that put us in this situation. We want what we want and we want it now! The main problem is that we don't know where to start! There is no game board for getting our homes in order.
In our perfectionism we try to do several things at one time and never really succeed at finishing any of them. This is my main reason for using a timer and concentrating on one blessing at one time. But what happens when you don't even feel like starting and you get overwhelmed at even the thought of doing anything.
When I woke up one New Years Day in 1999 and made the decision that I wanted to get organized; I never dreamed that it would happen(in the first place) or that the simple babysteps that I have implemented for myself would help so many others. I just knew that I wanted more for me and I set out trying to find a way to make it work for me (someone that gets overwhelmed easily). I began by shining my sink. It was a simple task that did not overpower me. When I finished the sink; that shiny sink gave me hope. It was also faith in myself. I accomplished something and I was keeping it shining and not falling back into my old ways. By establishing one habit a month I did not overburden myself with too much too fast. My whole goal in the process was to be nice to me and not push too hard by allowing my perfectionism to want it all NOW!
Yes I wanted to live in a clean house and yes I could clean like a banshee but it would not stay that way for long. I just wanted a home that would magically stay looking nice. You know the old sitcom "Bewitched" I just want to wiggle my nose and make it happen. The problem with all of this thinking was I didn't factor in that I needed to get up on my feet and do something.
I was so tried of feeling frumpy; I didn't even realize I was feeling this way. That is, until I started practicing my new habit of getting up and getting dressed to lace up shoes. Just getting dressed when I first got up in the morning set me on a positive note for the whole day; my shoes were empowering, feeling good about myself was also another powerful epiphany. I was not ashamed to answer my door. I could run outside at a moment's notice. I didn't have an excuse anymore. My shoes were on my feet. I didn't have to hunt for them. Any time a FlyBaby needs to take two or three extra steps to find something, we soon get sidetracked and forget about what we intended to do in the first place. Just putting on my shoes helped to put an end to my internal excuse or let's just call it like it is, WHINING!
I may not have gotten much else done in my home in the beginning but I was seeing progress and a small ray of hope in my shiny sink. It was a reflection of what I could be and was becoming! I proved that every time I walked into my bathroom and caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. WOW! I didn't scare myself. HEY I looked pretty good! It is just like going into the kitchen and seeing that empty glimmering sink! I didn't have to play catch up just to cook dinner. It was like starting at go and not having to back up five steps; clean off the table, empty the dishwasher, wash last night dishes, take out the trash and clean off the stove. My sink was shining because I did that for me. I hated being faced with those five things before ever starting!
So do you see how NOT having to go backward before you start forward is such a hopeful moment for us?
I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came because I chose to be kind to myself for the first time in my life. Now go get dressed to your lace up shoes!
FLYing is all about loving yourself. When you are dressing to shoes first thing in the morning you are really showing yourself the love that you deserve!
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 15, 2018 12:31:09 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
This morning has been one God Breeze right after another. Everything that has happened today has connected to this essay about depression and how I found out the importance of taking care of me; starting with "Getting Dressed to Shoes" when you first get up.
Depression is a sadness that I understand. I know this pain: The pain of feeling so overwhelmed that I didn't known where to start and then I just sat in a chair for days: The pain of feeling so alone and no one loves you: The pain of being separated by miles from your family and close friends. The pain of having no money for food and never feeling like you can get ahead: The pain of not knowing how I was going to get a flat tire fixed with only 13 cents in the bank. I could go on with this for a very long time. I now know that many of the reasons that I have suffered with these problems is so I can help you. It is never easy to pull yourself out of the pit of despair. It can be done; this takes recognizing that is where you are and wanting to get out of the pit; then it takes specific steps to get help and to help yourself; and it involves taking care of you.
Many times we feel that the earth has just opened up and swallowed us with no way to find our way back to the surface and the sunshine of life. Here is one of the messages I opened this morning.
********************************* Dear FlyLady,
This is really not a testimonial but I have been trying to fly now for over a year and the little bit I have done is wonderful but I have hit a brick wall and wanted to know if this is normal? Right after I started flying (which I heard about from the girl who cuts my hair) I became ill. They did all kind of tests and really couldn't find anything.
Now they are saying it is depression and stress. I am a Payroll SHE and not only am trying to keep my house in order but also my office. I am sending you this e-mail because I feel like I am a failure at flying. I know you are saying no one is a failure but I am beginning to think so. My sister-in-law and her mother ( and a few other people I know) started flying two months ago and their house is organized I hate going there because I feel guilty. I cannot even read your testimonials any more because they make me feel like a failure. The Holidays are coming and I'm not looking forward to them at all and it gets worse all the time. Right now my house looks like a tornado went through it and we are living in a pile of clutter.
I know you are always saying to take Baby Steps and I am trying but I feel like I am beyond help. AM I? I guess I am looking for some kind of reassurance.
Drowning In Pennsylvania!
********************************* Dear Drowning in Pennsylvania,
I am not a doctor or a psychologist; I am just one of you who has suffered with depression three times in my life and I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My first depression came as a result of the death of a step-parent, a bad marriage, and feeling out of control and overwhelmed by every thing that needed to be done during the holidays. The stress of it all just zaps the energy right out of you.
It didn't happen overnight. I felt myself slipping into this hole for about 6 or 7 months. I just didn't know what was happening to me the first time I fell into this hole. It took a friend to notice and she got me the help I needed. I am so thankful that I was willing to listen and follow her lead when I was not able to do it on my own. It is my turn to help you by bringing this to your attention and helping you to babystep your way out of this hole. I don't know why I have been picked to do this; I just know that it has to be done. So here goes. Follow me!!
The first time I was depressed (1990), I was put into a hospital for 10 days. It was a treatment facility for co-dependency and addiction. I didn't think I had an addiction; boy was I wrong. I was stuffing my feelings with food and feeling more and more depressed by the lack of love in my life. Food was the cocoon that kept me insulated from the real problems. As long as I could stand in front of the refrigerator and stuff my face and cry; I didn't really have to think about or deal with the fact that my marriage had fallen apart.
I felt like such a failure that I didn't want to live. That scared me big time. I wanted to be happy and I had no clue how to accomplish this. In my all or nothing thinking; I felt that I could just flip a switch and everything would be better. There is no magic pill or switch that is going to immediately change the way you think. It is a process of recognizing your stinking thinking and replacing those negative thought patterns with constructive actions.
This is what I learned in treatment. I have told this story before and some of you will recognize it; so please stay with me. When I walked through the door of the treatment facility; I looked and felt awful. I had long stringy hair that was oily, I had on sweat pants and a sweat shirt that I hid behind and I had no energy. I roomed with two women that were thin and beautiful. Their assignment was to give me a make-over.
Yea right! Make me look pretty! That was something that was never going to happen. How could I be pretty when I felt so yucky inside? This is the most important lesson that I teach. Now I am crying my eyes out! I had to live this to help you! It was not easy to get into my head, but I didn't have to understand it for it to have an effect on me.
They had me take a shower and wash my hair; then they had me dress in some of the clothes that I had brought with me. I don't remember what it was; but I remember that they accessorized me with earrings, a scarf, and tucking my shirt in my pants. We made do with what we had. They let me borrow a few items from their suitcases too. The most amazing part was fixing my hair and face: A little blow drying and curling can work wonders. Then they put a little moisturizer and make-up on me. I have never worn much anyway so they kept it very simple. The result was astounding; to me and the rest of my treatment group.
I felt better about myself and they all said I carried myself differently. I was no longer slouching and frowning; I had my shoulders back and my head lifted high. I felt empowered. This was a very simple act that literally has changed my life and the lives of thousands. I am not saying at this time that I kept doing this every single day; but I had found the tool to help me get out of the slump when I felt myself falling back in the hole. It took me a while to get into the habit of dressing to shoes every day. I feel now that this is one thing that I do daily to insure my mental health.
Right now, if you are feeling yucky in any form or fashion; just puny, PMSing, draggy, pitiful, lonely, angry, tired or anything else: I want you to go hop in the shower and go get dressed to shoes; fix your hair and face too. Then you can come back and finish reading this essay.
As FlyBabies we forget: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! We forget to take care of ourselves. Even though we take care of everyone else, sometime we forget to do things for ourselves. So ask yourself these questions.
Have I had any water today? I am not talking about liquid either like 3 cups of coffee or soft drinks! If you have not, then go turn up about eight ounces right now: I just did!
Did you eat today: Breakfast, Lunch and a nutritious snack? Have you had any vegetables or fruits today?
Now here is the biggy! Have you gone for a brisk walk outside today? I am not talking about a grueling 7 mile hike; I am just asking for 7 minutes out and 7 minutes back home again. We need sunshine; there are some days in the winter that we just don't think that the sun is ever going to shine again. Walking three times a week will help to keep depression away. Get out there anyway; even if you have not seen the sun for days! You will feel better if you will just move. I know you are saying I am too tired to get up and move right now, but just do it for 2 minutes. You will feel energized! Even just a little is more than you were doing. You can do it!
When you get angry do you let it fester inside of you? Women tend to do this. Men on the other hand like to stomp and bluster which makes us uncomfortable because that is not the way we deal with anger. This took some getting used to for me when I married Robert. The only time I ever saw anyone get angry it was usually directed at me. Robert is a very calm collected man and never gets angry or frustrated; unless he is working on a car!!!! Once he had been installing our anniversary present on his little convertible car. He asked me what I wanted for our anniversary and I said a roll bar for your car! He ordered it and he started installing it, but not without a few tossed hammers and screw drivers. This is how he vents.
Imagine that! Expelling anger and frustration and not doing it toward another person. When I was in treatment; they wanted me to beat up a pillow. I still don't get a release from doing that; I actually was uncomfortable with that action. It was not until my third bout with depression that I found my release valve! In the past, I would go to the refrigerator and eat or because the house was a symptom of some of the problems; I would clean like a banshee; daring anyone to talk to me. I would push myself into exhaustion so I would not have to deal with it; whatever IT was. Oh and I would retreat to my bed and cry for hours and pout! None of this ever did me any good. Here is how I deal with anger now.
I WRITE! I write till it all spills out of me. One sentence at a time and I have released the anger and sometimes I even come up with a solution. I don't even have to have a solution to see the problem clearly. I just start writing and somehow it all falls into place. I never know where I am going; I guess it is like throwing that hammer or beating that pillow; it has no rhyme or reason it just feels good to do it. Then I get into a tub of warm water to hug myself!
Another thing I learned in treatment was to slow down my mind and meditate. This was a way to relieve stress. They put on some calming sounds and darkened the room. Do you remember kindergarten when we had to take a nap! Imagine a room full of 40 adults on mats with their eyes closed, listening to sounds of ocean waves. We took ourselves on a trip to the beach or to a park. We could walk away from our troubles just by closing our eyes and going someplace else in our minds. You can do this too.
Try it now; just sitting in your chair. Close your eyes and think of a stream with water trickling over the rocks and down a small waterfall. What else do you see??? Then feel your body relax as the water takes your troubles downstream. OK, Do this now! This is another tool that I use quite often to help me relax and relieve stress. Just concentrate on slowing your breathing down and taking deep breaths. Feel your muscle tension leave with each breath exhaled.
So you have read this and you don't have this problem it is just the bunch of inconsiderate slobs you live with! The house is a mess and you have 20 people coming on this weekend and you have no idea where to begin to get the house ready for a party. You are sitting here paralyzed because of your perfectionism. You want it all clean at once! Well sister it ain't gonna happen in this lifetime! You have to deal with your anger toward your family and the martyrdom you are feeling and get up on your feet and go shine your sink. You have to do it for you or you will be headed down that dark lonely path into despair.
After all we each deserve to live in a home that hugs us. If you are feeling bad because yours makes you want to run and hide; then it is time to get up and do something about it instead of blaming others and whining. It all starts with you! You can't change anyone else, all you can do is change the way you react to them. Depression comes at you from all sides; you can't give in to it. Recognizing it is the first babystep out of the pit! We have the tools if you will just pick them up and use them. You are not alone. We are all one big cyber-family! Now take your first babystep!
I love you all, this is the hardest thing I have ever written. I want for you what I have; Peace. This peace came from establishing simple routines to maintain my mental health.
Are you ready to join me?
FlyLady
I saw this graphic and thought it might help you. I wished I had seen this graphic when I was living with depression.
Please see your doctor too. I did need medication for a while. Don't allow your perfectionism to stand in the way of getting well.
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 17, 2018 20:51:19 GMT -5
Sneak Peek January 28 - February 3 , 2018 We Are In: Zone 4: The Master Bedroom, Bathroom, and Closet FlyLady on Depression, Stress, and marriage. Zone 4: Mission #1 Monday Dear Friends: Today I want you to spend 15 minutes getting rid of anything that does not belong in your bedroom. Things that have gotten thrown in a corner, on a chair or even the floor. The things that you almost don't even see because they have just become part of the room, get it out! If it does not belong there then out it goes! This does not mean that you have to spend three hours in your bedroom, do what you can do for 15 minutes. PS. Don't forget that if you miss a mission in your emails you can always get them at our website www.FlyLady.net and click on the Launch Pad. FlyLady Rebecca Zone 4: Mission #2 Tuesday Dear Friends: Today is the day to attack the clothes pile. Now you all know what I am talking about. This pile is either on a chair, on top of the hamper, dresser or at the foot of your bed. Set your timer for 15 minutes and grab some hangers or start folding. While you are doing this do not hang up or fold something that you hate! This is the time to let it go!! If you do not love it, send it right out the door! FlyLady Rebecca Zone 4: Mission #3 Wednesday Dear Friends, Wednesday is Anti-procrastination Day. We are going to straighten up the floor of your closet! Are the shoes piling up and you can't find two shoes that are a like? Do you think you have too many shoes? While you are lining up your shoes; pick two pair to give away or throw away. The next time you are looking for the pair of shoes that match your outfit, you will smile because you will be able to find them without getting down on your hands and knees. This will put another smile on your face and keep your hair from getting messed up. FlyLady Rebecca Zone 4: Mission #4 Thursday Dear Friends: This week, we have been tackling clutter in our bedrooms. So, today we are going to clean off the nightstands! Get the tissues, cups and stuff that has piled up, toss and put away. Then grab a feather duster or dust rag and dust the surface. Place a pretty candle or picture there. Something that is new to that spot that you love to see. Waking up and not seeing a pile of things on the nightstand and a pile of clothes will make your morning a little brighter! FlyLady Rebecca Zone 4: Mission #5 Friday Dear Friends: Today is the last day in the Master Bedroom. Take 15 minutes to declutter your dresser. Get the things off the top of your dresser that you have placed there that you were going to put away later. Later is now. Take the time to take care of this; it really makes a great difference. FlyLady Rebecca
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 18, 2018 20:48:59 GMT -5
Dear Friends, What is it about these words we tell ourselves all the time; I can't, I won't and I don't have time? I think that these words give us a false sense of control. They are excuses we use to not feel guilty. It can't be our fault if we just don't have time. My granny always said, "Can't never could do anything!" She was so right because when we rationalize things, we can talk ourselves out of doing most anything. Can't never could do anything because it is afraid to try! What if they succeeded? All those excuses would be lies; aren't they lies anyway! "I won't" is a form of rebellion. I won't do that because it is not my time! Keeping score is so sad. All you are really doing is setting yourself up for a life of martyred living. Is that living or existing with a chip on your shoulder. It is so sad to go through each day wearing "I won't" tattooed to your forehead. No one loves a martyr not even the martyr! When we do this to ourselves we put a cocoon of UN-cooperation around us for the world to recognize. Remember the commercial, "Mikie won't eat it; he won't eat anything!" The negativity becomes our persona. Now for the biggie! I don't have time! Lies lies and more lies! We use this one more than any of them. It placates the guilt we have when we don't think we have enough time to do it perfectly or the way we were taught how to do it by our perfectionist family members. We had this old saying shoved down our throats; If you don't do it right then don't do it at all! We took this one to . Especially when we were given a chore and it did not live up to someone else's standards. Despite the fact that we were never informed of the standard. This is when we learned to say I can't and even I won't! We were afraid to try because somebody bigger than us forced us to clean the way they did! Well listen here! We don't have to listen to those voices in our heads any more. Our houses can be cleaned without spending all day doing it! We can take a few minutes here and there and "hit a lick at a snake" as we say in the south! This means do something/anything to make a little progress. Progress is not perfection; it is just doing a little now to keep things from becoming a great big job and out of hand. Even if your home is overwhelming right this minute; you too can have it where you are only 15 minutes worth of messy to be ready for company. Some time ago I had 15 minutes to get ready for a major newspaper to come to our home. They phoned to ask if they could talk to someone that occasionally drops in on us. I had just spent an hour talking to a friend that has been dropping in every few weeks to bring me her religious magazines. We enjoy talking about FlyLady stuff and what is happening in the world. I get to share with her my love of everyone and what God's purpose is for my life. I ran down the driveway to catch her so she could be interviewed by the newspaper. Here I had a surprise visit that I gladly opened my door for. She happily shared our lovely time with the reporter. I had dust mopped my floors, dusted, my hot spots were clear and my beautiful music was filling the air. She saw how I worked and lived. I was not ashamed to let her in the house! We even walked outside to Robert's tree house. When your home is not weighing you down; you can spend time enjoying another person's stories. As I walked her back to the front door she admired a walking stick that I had bought for Robert when I was on a trip. He had not liked it but really didn't say so. She loves to hike; so I gave it to her. I got rid of clutter that we don't love and she will use it and love it! These words "I can't", "I won't" and "I don't have time" bound us up in lies. Release the lies of perfectionism and what people will think and find that You can, You will, and You do have time to FLY! Are you ready to live in a can do world? FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 20, 2018 20:10:45 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Forest Image
This week our focus is on our master bedrooms. As a result we are also putting an extra emphasis on relationships.
How many fights have you had because to the chaos in your home. I don't care about whose responsibility it was to clean it or who collected all the clutter. The bottom line is clutter and chaos cause unrest in your home. This is one of the main reasons that I want you to grab this bull by the horns and toss the clutter outside your door. I want this pain and strife to end in your life and for you to find the peace that I have promised. I also want you to quit beating yourself up over not having the perfect marriage or home. There are times when it is not your fault. Now listen to me very closely.
I was raised in a church that believed that it was an unforgivable sin to divorce and regardless of the biblical reasons for divorce, I would never be able to remarry. So I went into my first marriage vowing to never divorce. My determination to stick it out to the end almost resulted in my death. The difficulties in that marriage I blamed all on me, because of my lack of house keeping skills.
It was only after I found my routines that I began to actually see the forest for what it really was. I had been stumbling blindly through this marriage thinking that every problem that arose was a result of my mess. I started to do something and quit whining, then my home came together. The most interesting part in finding routines was after my house was clean and orderly, I still had problems in my marriage.
This is the part I want you to hear. Your self-blame and the conflicts hide the real problem. I have told you many times, that I want you to clean the house for you, not for your husband or your children, but for you and your joy. When you get your home in order, you will be better able to see the problems, because you will no longer have the clutter to cloud your eyes from the truth.
This is exactly what happened to me in my first marriage. He was not a happy person. I thought that I could make him happy "if only" I did this or that. The truth was I couldn't do anything to change his personality. He was just a grim person who liked making others feel bad. It was only after my home was clean and orderly that I could see that I didn't make him that way. It didn't matter whether our home was clean and tidy; he was going to find something wrong and did. Let me tell you that after the house had no problems, he had to start attacking me to find ways to hurt me. The abuse got worse. This is all because the clutter was a camouflage for the real problems. It was much easier to fight over the hot spots or undone laundry than to tackle the problem of no love in a marriage.
This is a very tough issue and we have been sidestepping it for a long time. One of our members sent me a testimonial that thanks us for helping her to find the real problems in her marriage. After the clutter was gone, the main problem could be seen. I want for you what I have peace. It came with getting rid of my clutter, so that I could see the true me and FLY. Sometimes we have to FLY Solo for a while. Now I am not advocating divorce. I just want you to get your home clean so that you can address the real problems and not stick your head in the sand and blame yourself.
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 22, 2018 9:35:45 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Have you gotten in a rut? Not a bad rut; but let's say a comfortable rut. You know the same ole same ole! You go through your day without any thought about your passion. Passion: What is that anyway? We have all heard that procrastination is the thief of time. I don't think that is entirely the case. Time is constant; we all have the same hours in every single day, it is how we choose to use those hours that steals the time. We all seem to think that things will take longer than they really will, so we talk ourselves out of doing them. Just what have you been procrastinating about lately: Laundry, getting the car washed or is it something much deeper than household chores? When procrastination gets in the way of your passion; it becomes an excuse to not follow your dreams. We have all said it in some form or fashion, "I don't have time to go back to school and finish my degree". This "I don't have time" attitude gives us the excuse to not be or do what we were put on Earth to do with our lives. You are robbing yourself of you! Not to mention what you are robbing the world of: YOU! When your is not in what you are doing then nothing will ever make you happy! It doesn't matter if you make all the money in the world, if it doesn't make you happy, it means nothing. Happiness comes from within. This is what FLYing is all about. Finally Loving Yourself enough to know that for some reason you are not happy. You thought getting the house clean was all it would take to make you happy. As you learn the FlyLady way of breaking things down into babysteps; you will find the right path that is going to lead you to true happiness. This happiness starts by letting go of procrastination and perfectionism. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. For years I was a bookkeeper, then I taught Fly Fishing. I was not fulfilling my destiny because I still had an empty hole to fill. Nothing would fill up this hole; spending money, relationships, food or anything else I used to keep me in my rut. You see; ruts keep you in a path that is not your choosing. Because it is so hard to get out of the rut, it is just easier to continue on this sidetracked journey. I can hear you now, "but I did choose my path!" Did you really or did circumstances just put you in this position. Some people never get out of their ruts of procrastination. It involves too much change. When we allow our routines to take over the maintenance of our home and we are on automatic pilot then we are freed up to follow our dreams one babystep at a time. I knew someone who always wanted to be an attorney. He let his dreams slip away. He thought that following his dreams was taking from his family. He had no clue that he would giving them a whole human being who was not bitter. As a result of putting off going back to school or not moving closer to a law school he became a martyr. These words would come out of his mouth, "Just look what I gave up for you!" Well no one loves a martyr; not even the martyr! Procrastination is a thief, but not the thief of time! It is a thief of self-esteem. Sometimes we cannot see what it is we are missing until we get rid of the things we have been procrastinating about. As long as we allow ourselves the opportunity for self-loathing we will never fill our voids. Why should we, we are not worthy; when we beat ourselves up on a daily basis for the little things in life; we can't even think about our purpose for living! We have brainwashed ourselves into believing that this is all there is, so why want more passion or joy! It was only after I got rid of my clutter and found my routines that my purpose for living was revealed to me. Open up your hearts by taking care of the things you have been putting off till later. Later is a lie that never happens unless you set your mind to clearing out your mind clutter! That is all procrastination really is! Are you ready to FLY with anti-procrastination being the stepping stones out of your rut?
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 22, 2018 15:18:06 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Last week I implemented my Two Minutes to Peace in my home. Many of you have been using this fun way to get things done. I sit here looking around my home and I don't see anything that makes me feel bad. Here is my list of things I have done for two minutes. Empty the dishwasher Feather Dust Clean off the coffee table and decorate Mop the floors Detail dust end tables Sweep the front porch Sweep the back deck Clean out the refrigerator Wipe down kitchen counters Sweep throw rugs Plant some basil Gather trash Swish and swipe my bathroom Wipe down cat's feeding window Shine my sink Pick a flower for my table Strip our bed Make our bed Clean the ashes out of the fireplace Recycle magazines Water plants Gather items to give away Put a load of clothes in the washer Fold a load of clothes Get cat hair off our red couch Burn paper clutter (identity sensitivity) in our fireplace Shine a window Clean out medicine cabinet Organized closet Straighten under bathroom cabinet Organize the freezer Closed my eyes to rest them Sat on my beautiful front porch and admired our pond and Make a menu plan for next week Build a grocery list Write for essay Fill up my water bottles Take my supplements Clean the dogs feeding area Clean out the car Planted potatoes in a big pot Posted an essay on our website Unpack a suitcase Repack a suitcase Start dinner in the Crock Pot Put things where they belong Clean out my purse I have been setting my timer for two minutes and even though I know its power, I am blown away by how wonderful our home looks. I have done my weekly home blessing two minutes at a time. I have menu planned two minutes at a time. I have touched each zone in my home for two minutes at a time. I have taken care of me two minutes at a time. I have decluttered two minutes at a time. I have worked in my yard two minutes at a time. I have cleaned my car out two minutes at a time. I have put things back in their place two minutes at a time. So what excuse have you been making? Please try this method. The true power in the two minute challenge is getting up and moving. You will be so surprised at how many steps you can get in each day if you get up and do just two minutes. Tomorrow is Friday! It is the day we clean out car, diaper bag, purse, and plan a date with your Sweet Darling. Set your timer and try it two minutes at a time. What can you get done today while I talk with you on our Facebook Live Video Podcast. If you can't figure out what to do next; use my list! You will be just as amazed as I am. Set your timer and get started. Be sure and rest too! My list has been spread out over a whole week. It works out to less than 15 minutes a day. My hotspots are cleared and our home is shining! You can have this too. FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 25, 2018 11:52:31 GMT -5
We Are In: Zone 5: The Living Room This week we are having some fun with FlyLady!
Mop XL Pack Plus FlyLady here; We have a new coupon code MakeItFun! We have a great deal on our XL Mop Pack Plus.
Save over 40% when you use MakeItFun coupon code. Zone 5: Mission #1 Monday
Dear Friends,
This week we are in Zone 5, The Living Room and I want each and every one of you to go into your living rooms and stand there. While you are standing there I want you to look around you and look at the flat surfaces (end tables, coffee tables, tops of tv's/entertainment centers, bookcases, mantles, etc)
What do have on these surfaces? Are they the same decorative things that you have always had? Do you really love them? Are they cluttered up with too many things? Too many ducks, bunnies, candles, cows, precious moments etc? I am not condemning those things but asking you if they still bring you joy and do you still love seeing them in your living room? Or are you just used to them.
What about the piles of magazines and papers? Do you NEED those? You would be amazed at how much neater your living room will appear by just removing a few things.
How much easier would it be to dust these areas without all that stuff?
Your mission is to get rid of the stuff that is cluttering up your living room. Take 5 minutes to let go of some things. I am willing to bet that more of you will find you do want to get rid of some things because they do not bring you joy and you are just used to them being there.
Have fun!
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 5: Mission #2 Tuesday
Dear Friends,
Back to the Living Room we go! One of my favorite missions for the living room is to go sofa and chair diving! This is where we start digging through the furniture and pluck out the cheerios and old socks! I am always amazed at how much stuff I can pull out of the couch in just one short month! I think the couch is kind of like the clothes dryer, it seems to keep things!
Have fun, this should not take longer than 5 minutes!
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 5: Mission #3 Wednesday
Dear Friends,
Let's have a Fire Drill! Go get the hotspots cleared off in your Living Room. You know the piles that I am talking about. The ones that just grow and grow! Put that fire out!
Take 10 minutes and put things away where they belong and toss the rest.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 5: Mission #4 Thursday
Dear Friends,
Check the floors in your living room. Look at that two inches all the way around the walls and baseboards that seems to get missed with the vacuum and the broom. Your mission today is to use the vacuum and really concentrate on that area, you can also use a vegetable or toilet bowl brush to loosen the hair and dirt that gets caught up against the wall.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 5: Mission #5 Friday
Dear Friends,
Today I want you to spend 15 minutes getting rid of anything that does not belong in your living room. Things that have gotten thrown in a corner, on a chair, or even the floor. The things that you almost don't even see because they have just become part of the room, get it out! If it does not belong there then out it goes.
This does not mean that you have to spend three hours in your living room, do what you can do for 15 minutes.
FlyLady Rebecca
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 25, 2018 12:00:37 GMT -5
Dear FlyLady,
My home is filled with clutter, how can only doing 15 minutes a day of decluttering make a difference?
FlyBaby M. Dear FlyBaby M,
Your home did not get dirty in a day and it is not going to get clean overnight. You will be shocked at how good your home will look after a month only 15 minutes a day of decluttering.
When you first joined our little cyber-family, all I asked you to do was go shine your sink, lay out your clothes for tomorrow, get up and get dressed to shoes, do a simple morning routine (swish and swipe is part of that), and declutter for 15 minutes a day.
You have been a collector of clutter for many years and now we have to establish a simple little habit to help us reduce that clutter in babysteps. If I told you to back a truck up to your home and start throwing stuff away, you would run as fast as you could to get away from this crazy woman. This is why we do it in babysteps. You don't even realize you are getting rid of your clutter. We start with a very simple hot spot fire prevention. I still have to do this twice a day to keep my favorite hot spots from taking over my living room. We have developed some fun ways to reduce our clutter in a painless way.
27 Fling Boogie 5 Minute Room Rescue Out with the old when you bring something new home Hot Spot Fire Drill Daily Mission
Over a period of about nine months of doing this every day, you won't have too much to get rid of. I like to think of this as giving birth to a new you! With your habits combining into routines, you will find that house-cleaning is no longer something that you dread, but something that gives you pleasure because you are blessing your home, your family, and most of you blessing yourself. After all, you have to do this for you and no one else.
When you get rid of your perfectionism and try it the FLY way, you will see those ineffective habits FLY out of your door and new FLYing Routines come home to stay. Your CHAOS will become only a bad dream and your new life will have you shining like your kitchen sink
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 25, 2018 12:09:49 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Every day we are surrounded by noise. It can be a pleasant sound or an annoying sound; you get to choose. Have you ever tried watching a movie without the sound? The background music is almost invisible until you turn down the volume.
What is the soundtrack of your life? Do you have trouble getting your children to do anything around the house? If you do it could be that your children do not have routines in their lives.
I would like to give you the playlist for your daily soundtrack!
Track 1. Polite Request sung by the parent Track 2. Ignore the Request sung by the child Track 3. Bribing and Negotiation sung by the parent Track 4. Nagging; that Same Old Song sung by the parent Track 5. Met with More Deaf Ears sung by the child Track 6. Command with a Threat of Punishment sung by the parent Track 7. Scream and Holler Time sung by the parent Track 8. Reluctant Child Dragging their Feet sung by the child Track 9. I'll just Give Up and Do it Myself sung by the parent Track 10. Eye Roll, Sigh and Slamming Door Blues by the beaten down parent Track 11. Martyred Attitude Again sung by the parent.
Have you heard this soundtrack too many times? Are you tired of it! The same ole same ole; we have to change that tune to get a different result. This is why we came up with real music to make a big difference in the lives of your children and you!
We want to teach them routines in a way that is fun and energetic. Songs can become timers. Music gets our feet moving. We can set the tone for our day. Music inspires. Our music can become your voice. You no longer have to sing that nagging martyred song. You can join in and set the example.
Children are going to listen to music anyway; we wanted to give them something that was written for them that parents would like too. After all if you can't stand it; you won't let them play it. Every child from two years old to thirteen who has heard these songs can't stop moving. Every parent that has listened has been so excited about the variety of our music and our wonderful lyrics.
Our songs give us something to do. They help to replace our own negativity with positive messages. They are peppy and easy to sing along with. I can't wait to see all the wonderful ways that you are going to use this CD to help train your children. We have clips of all the songs on our website.
Are you ready to change tiresome soundtrack of your life and fill it with an Up Kind of Day! Our title track says it all! Here are the lyrics. Just imagine your child waking up to this song each morning as their alarm. What a way to start your day!
Up Kind of Day
FlyLady On Thursday we had a great show about making things fun. Check it out. We played some of the music from our Up Kind of Day music. I also demonstrated our XL Mop used wet on my front room floor. I did it one handed too. That is not as easy as it looks. LOL We also played FlyLady Bingo! Use coupon code MakeItFun to save an additional 15%.
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 26, 2018 19:20:16 GMT -5
You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 30, 2018 9:58:03 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
This past Sunday, I noticed a scar on my knee. It has been on my knee since I was 4 years old. It is one of my first memories. The accident was before children were supposed to be strapped into car seats. Daddy had to slam on the brakes and I landed on a coke bottle. I remember blood and a hospital ER with stitches. I was a victim of a UFO!
UFOs are Un-tethered Flying Objects in your car! Yes you know the ones I am talking about! Our cars are usually the last frontier when it comes to getting organized. When I was a small child I was hurt by bottle in our car. I still have the scar to show for it. Think of it this way when you are riding in a car going 55 mph if you have to stop abruptly everything in the car becomes a missile. Think about being hit by a baseball or a bottle that was thrown at that speed.
Here is the worst thing about UFOs in your car! You are embarrassed for anyone to ride with you. I know because I am just like you! My car has been clear of clutter on the inside for almost two years. There is no telling how many accidents have occurred because a bottle rolled out from under the seat. Then it got under our foot or brake and we reached down to get it.
So how do we stop from cluttering up our cars? We have to establish simple habits that will keep the clutter eliminated.
1. Don't eat in your car. If you do, then bag up the trash as soon as everyone is finished. The bag the fast food came in is a great bag to hold the trash. When you get out of the car, find a trash can.
2. Every time you get home empty the car of things you put in it before you left. Not only will this keep your family safe from UFOs but it will deter thieves. When there is nothing in the car there is no temptation to break a window. My purse was stolen from my car once when I went into a funeral home to pay my respects.
3. While you are filling your car up with gas; play a game with the children to pick up the trash in your car. Then throw it away. They can hand it to you through the car window after you have filled up.
4. Keep things in your trunk, confined in zippered bags or under a cargo net in your van or SUV.
5. Establish a day for blessing your car. Fill it up, Clean it out and Shine it up! We do it on Fridays. We have some simple tools for this; FlyLady Car Duster and Rubba Scrubba. Rubba Scubba sweeps the floor and seats, Duster does the dash and console. Our purple rags get the windows sparkling. That is if you put them in your hand and use them.
Don't put your family's safety in jeopardy because you don't think you have time. Think of it as Swish and Swipe for your car. Daily maintenance takes less time than a whole day clean up to get ready to go somewhere with strangers in your car. Be sure and keep UFOs contained in the trunk or glove box.
It's Friday time to Clean Out Your Car Day!
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 31, 2018 18:45:54 GMT -5
I answered a few questions and showed everyone how to use a feather duster and how they work! Zone 1: Mission #1 Monday
Dear Friends:
We are in Zone 1 this week, that is the Front Porch, the Entrance area and the Dining Room.
Today you are to sweep your front porch area around your front door. Shake out your welcome mats and wipe down your front door. This makes a huge difference in how your home looks. We have a tendency to neglect this area and yet it is the first thing that people see when they come to your home.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 1: Mission #2 Tuesday
Dear Friends:
We are going to have a multi room mission today, it might take you longer than 15 minutes to do it, so set your timer for each room and FLY through it!
For the Front Porch, Entrance and Dining Room, put out the fires that are burning in your hot spots. Get rid of the pile of shoes by the front door, get rid of the pile of junk mail and put away the magazines and school papers that are piled on the dining room table.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 1: Mission #3 Wednesday
Dear Friends:
Today take a look at the walls and the windows in your dining room. Grab some cleaner and a cloth and go after the finger prints and smudges. Let's carry this mission to your front door too. Wipe down the door and pay attention to the area around the door handle. If it is anything like mine it will need a little scrubbing.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 1: Mission #4 Thursday
Dear Friends,
Today I want you to spend 15 minutes getting rid of anything that does not belong on your porch or front entrance way. Things that have gotten thrown in a corner, along the wall, or even on the floor. The things that you almost don't even see because they have just become part of the space. If it does not belong there, then out it goes!
This does not mean that you have to spend three hours in your porch, do what you can do for 15 minutes.
FlyLady Rebecca
Zone 1: Mission #5 Friday
Dear Friends:
Let's go into the dining room and get down and dirty with the cobwebs and the dusties. Look up and look down, get the dust off the baseboards and the cobwebs out of the corners in the ceiling. While you are looking up, check out your light fixture, does it need to be dusted? Careful around the light bulb!
FlyLady Rebecca
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Post by SAR01 on Apr 1, 2018 14:04:04 GMT -5
Dear Friends, Sunday morning I was reminded of the anger that many of you suffer with. The anger was directed at me and our simple system. I would be happy to take the brunt of your anger if it would change your situation. Festering in anger only perpetuates the problems. We have to stop the whining and focus on what we can do, not what we can't. My grandmother always said, "Can't never could do anything!" She was so right! When we focus on the negative we stay prisoner to its ploys. I learned last week in my studies that when we get angry we are giving power to the evil one. I will not do that. Focus on what you can do! Set your timer for 2 minutes and focus on one small area. When many of you joined our group; you were looking for help as a last resort! Everything was closing in on you and you felt as if your home was getting ready to explode! That explosive force you were feeling was not necessarily your home, but you! People join for lots of reasons; to learn how to fix their husband or wife (not at all what we do), manipulate your children (ain't goin' to happen here) or have a place to whine and blame others (and you all know how I feel about whining)! The anger that some of you have felt and are feeling now is not good for you! Here is why! Anger has a way of eating at you and it really only scratches the surface toward the person you are angry with. If the truth be told and we never like to hear the truth; you are really angry with yourself and just trying to put the blame on your spouse or children. Now don't email complaining that I have no clue how much they can mess up; because I have seen others deal with this problem and find success at setting the example for them and before you know it; they are picking up after themselves. So what is your problem? YOU ARE STILL PLAYING THE MARTYR ROLL! And no one loves a martyr! Not even you! I am not about to hold your hand and say there there! It will be OK, because it is not! unless you get off your Franny and do something to get rid of your martyrdom and anger toward your family! Yes I am tough! I have never pretended to be anything else! But I am this way because you need an attitude adjustment! Your anger is pushing your family further and further away from you and if you don't stop this behavior you are going to be a bitter old person with no one! And do you want to know something else! YOUR HOME WILL STILL BE MESSY! All because you never learned the most important lesson I am trying to teach you! You should bless your home for you! Not for your kids, husband or wife! But YOU! You deserve to live in a home that is comfortable and inviting! NO WHINING HERE EITHER! You married your husband or wife because you loved him! You did not have your babies to be slaves in your home! Hold your horses here! NO WHINING ALLOWED! Finish reading this before you blast off an email! It is your responsibility to teach your children respect and love; if they see none of this from you, how are they ever going to learn it! Just look at the example you have been setting for them; whiny, anger, ugly hurtful words. No wonder no one wants to be around you! You have become an ogre. Your family is walking on eggshells around you and they run to keep from making you ! Is this anyway to live and treat your family! Do you want to know why you are doing this? It is all because you don't love yourself enough to stop! YOU are constantly blaming others and not taking responsibilities for your own actions! If you will look around the room you will see your stuff every where too! I can hear the words coming out of your mouth now, "but I am going to get back to that in a bit!" So how long has it been there anyway! 6 months! A year! When we don't pick up after ourselves we tell the rest of the family that it is OK to leave things lying around! Mom doesn't mind she does it all the time. You may not say the words, but they are coming through loud and clear! It is only when you set the example and quit trying to preach what you are not practicing that your family will begin to take notice and start helping! Let's look at our bedrooms! Is your bed made! Did you harp on your children about making theirs this morning and ........... So how can you do this! You have absolutely no credibility! But look what happens if you make your bed. Your babies will start to imitate you. And guess what! If you will let go of your perfectionism; it will look just right! Don't burst their bubble by having to redo it for them. Let them be proud of themselves. Let them help you in your room. It is going to be hard to stop them because if you do this for you they are going to be seeing the joy in your face as you bless your bedroom by making your bed! Now I am in great big purple puddles!(tears) I have tried every way in the world to get this across to you! Holding your hand just doesn't do it! Because you will continue to refocus the blame! It is up to you! I didn't make the rules either! As women we may not like it, but guess what we wouldn't want it any other way either! So accept your responsibility for setting the tone in your home and just quit whining about it! NO SULKING or POUTING either! That is whining without spoken words. In the south we say, "If momma ain't happy; ain't nobody happy!" and I am going to add something new to this phrase! I am the only one who can truly make ME Happy! When you realize this you will be FLYing! Bless your home for you! Quit blaming others and set the example in love; you will see a remarkable change in your attitude and the attitudes of everyone in your home! I love you all, but I won't coddle you! FlyLady
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