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Post by SAR01 on Jan 21, 2021 16:34:52 GMT -5
(Just putting it here to keep a record of the dreams)
been haunting me all day
we were together and he was Dan. the old Dan. I was just enjoy being with him and wanted to talk to him about his dying... but wasn;t sure how to bring it up, he was so alive and we held hands talking about the cats,. at one point I said I am so glad the cancer could not keep you from me... he said to me.. I guaren-damn-tee you, if it comes back... I'm fighting it this time. I am doing something about it. (he meant he'd take all the drugs and chemo)
in our whole marriage we both said "if" we got the big C we'd live the best we could ... and ask for a pain free exist (morphine)
when we got the DX he was too far gone and too frail even the dr said he could not with stand Chemo....
so why did he say this to me and upset me to the point I woke up.?
the next night I dreamed
next night
thing is by the time we had a diagnosis, he could not take the chemo he was already too far down the rabbit hole of ravages..:(
so today I dreamed of Dan ... and Rick.. and Doors! doors mean closings and openings... and Dan was there with Rick.. like Rick was to be here for so long and now even Dan can see it is time to open the door.....
and then the next night I just dream Dan was standing in the doorway,
and I ran to him and just hugged him until I woke up....
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