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Post by SAR01 on Jan 7, 2020 20:27:40 GMT -5
I am sure the Office in a Bag is useful in many other ways, but what about the FlyBabies that pay their bills online? For me, I would have loved to use the Office in a Bag when I used to write checks to pay my bills, but now that I pay via my computer, I can't really use it. I put all my bills next to my computer, then all I have to do it start up my computer and pay the bills, then file them away. Thanks for all that you are doing for us FlyBabies! Flying in TO Dear Flying in TO, You are so blessed to have a place to put your bills. Just make sure you don't cover them up with more papers; that may end up becoming a Hot Spot. We have one place to put our bills and nothing else goes there. Have you ever heard of Parkinson's Law? It doesn't matter if it is about paying bills or mailing a card. When we keep everything in a place that we can easily find, things get done with little effort. Now, with the iPhone and other phones we can pay bills while we are waiting for soccer practice to end or on our lunch hour. But, if you don't have your bills all in one place, like in your Office in a Bag, you can't use these priceless moments to get something done. We have learned the hard way never to put our bills in our bottomless pit of a purse. The other good thing about an Office in a Bag is that your desk is portable. You can write a thank you note, address a birthday card, or send a real letter to an old friend. You don't have to procrastinate because everything is in one place. I use my Office in a Bag for my greeting cards. I can always find a card because I have them in sheet protectors per category: Birthday, anniversary, graduation, condolence, and thank you cards. Everything is there that I would need to get a card ready to mail. So many times we allow Parkinson's Law to kick in without even thinking. As Professor C. Northcote Parkinson says, "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." Do not allow yourself to get caught up in this inefficient way of thinking. He uses the example of a lady wanting to send a card to her niece. She has to look for the right card, find her glasses, then, after she has toiled with writing the perfect words on the card, she has to try to find the address then to find a stamp. Then, it is raining outside and she can't find her umbrella so she can walk down the street and put it in the mailbox. All of this over a little card that could take many of us just three minutes to write, address, stamp, and mail. Why did she take so long to accomplish this simple task? It was because she didn't have a system for efficiently using her time. Busy people keep every thing they need for paying bills and sending cards in one spot, or do they? Do you procrastinate about sending cards, letters and Thank You notes because of Parkinson's Law? Do you have to hunt for your bills in your mail hotspot, a pen, stamps or, better yet, you can't pay bills because you do not know how much money you have in the bank and you need to balance six months of bank statements or spend hours bringing down your balance in your checkbook. Or do you just write the checks and that you won't be overdrawn!! You don't have to live this way another day! In the FlyShop, we have the Office in a Bag in four different colors: Blue, Black, Purple and Red. FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Jan 17, 2020 14:21:19 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
I get asked many times when do I get to do my sewing, scrap booking or any other hobby or craft. Right now I want us to look at this. Now don't get me wrong we all need some down time, but let's examine our personalities in depth first.
As SHEs we have a tendency to hyper-focus and you all know what I mean. It is the perfectionism in us that causes us to keep going and spread our project all over our homes. If you have you ever scrubbed the grout in a tile floor with a toothbrush to make it all white, then you know exactly how we can hyper-focus. It is this inability to stop when we should that hurts us, our families and our homes. For some reason we have trouble with our starter and our breaks on our little engine.
If we think that we don't have enough time to do a job right, then we won't even start. Then if we ever do, we can't stop till it is all done right. It doesn't matter that dinner needs to be started or that the house has been trashed by the kids while you were on your never ending mission to perfectionism. We were going to do it right if it killed us. You can't tell me that you have never said those words under your breath or even out loud to your family.
This inability to stop causes us to crash and burn. This is why I want you to take baby steps and learn that it is OK not to do something perfectly. Some of you have found great success in just a few days and I really worry about you because of this gung ho mentality. We have all done this in the past and this is why our family just rolls their eyes are this new FlyLady kick you are on. Good efficient habits take time to establish. Just as your home did not get trashed in a day, neither are your routines going to become instilled in your mind and body overnight.
This is all a process of establishing one habit at a time and building upon what you have learned by adding another one to your routine; Taking babysteps. I don't expect you to have a full blown routine in a week. It took me nine months to give birth to my new life if you think you can do this faster, then I believe that you are back into your perfectionism. My routines have become part of me. Now that they are established my body goes through the motions without even thinking about them. This is how my home practically cleans itself.
Learn to use your timer for most everything you do. This gives you a feeling of accomplishment as well as giving you permission to not overdo and burn out. If you find yourself resetting the timer after your 15-minutes are over then; STOP THIS! It is your perfectionism trying to follow the FlyLady Way to a T; while still being entrapped by your perfection to keep going till it is done. Practice quitting! You will come back to it.
The reason that you will come back is because you have not burned yourself out. When we have let our bathrooms go till we can't stand it any longer; then we get in there and spend 3 hours cleaning. After you have finally finished, you don't want to see another bathroom to clean for a while, so you don't! Then it goes until it is totally disgusting and you wouldn't let your mother in there, would you! I want this crash and burn attitude to go away forever. My bathroom never has to be marathon cleaned, because I clean just a little each time I am in there.
A little swish and swipe and it is done. Having a presentable bathroom is a gift to you and it really doesn't have to kill you to keep it that way. It is all just a habit, to pick up after yourself while you are in there and do a few seconds worth of cleaning each time you are in there. Don't let perfectionism keep you from doing a little each day!
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Jan 18, 2020 14:34:21 GMT -5
Zone 4 Master Bedroom, Bathroom, and Closet
Zone 4: Mission #1 Monday
Dear Friends,Today is the day to attack the clothes pile. Now you all know what I am talking about. This pile is either on a chair, on top of the hamper, dresser or at the foot of your bed. Set your timer for 15 minutes and grab some hangers or start folding. While you are doing this do not hang up or fold something that you hate! This is the time to let it go. If you do not love it, send it right out the door!
Zone 4: Mission #2 Tuesday
Dear Friends,The Master Bedroom! This is the one room that seems to get things tossed into it when you can't find any other place to put something away.Your mission for today is to set your timer for 15 minutes and gather up some things that just don't belong in your bedroom. Spend 5 minutes gathering and 10 minutes on a delivery mission to either put things away or toss them in the trash!
Zone 4: Mission #3 Wednesday
Dear Friends,It is anti-procrastination day and we are going to clean off the nightstands! Get the tissues, cups and stuff that has piled up, toss and put away. The grab a feather duster or dust rag and dust the surface. Place a pretty candle or picture there. Something that is new to that spot that you love to see.
Zone 4: Mission #4 Thursday
Dear Friends,Yesterday we worked on the nightstands and today we are going after the dressers. Get rid of anything that is not necessary. Instead of a pile up of cosmetics, place them in a ziploc bag and then store them in a drawer when not in use. For perfumes and colognes, toss what you no longer use and place you favorites on a pretty tray, plate or mirror. Keep this space neat and clutter free, you will love to wake up to the flat surfaces in your bedroom decluttered.
Zone 4: Mission #5 Friday
Dear Friends,Today is the day to remake your bed. This may take a little longer than usual but so well worth it. Strip your bed and remake it. Get someone to help you flip the mattress, if you can't then try just to turn it around. If you have some fabric spray spritz your linens or if you have had any colds or flu's in the house lately consider spraying your mattress and pillows with an anti-bacterial spray. Then place those crisp freshly washed sheets and blanket on. Take extra are when making the bed.Really tuck those corners in and fluff the pillows. An extra tip is to toss your pillow in the dryer with a dryer sheet for added freshness and fluff. Use your bedspread or comforter and make up the rest of the bed. Take your time and know how much you will enjoy getting into your bed tonight and how wonderful it will feel. Maybe tonight you will go to bed a little earlier or stay in bed a little longer tomorrow morning just taking some time to enjoy something so simple yet rewarding.
Pamper Mission January 19, 2020
Dear Friends,You've worked hard this week! It's time to take a little break and have some "Me Time". You deserve some pampering. I want you to set aside 2 hours for a break. You don't have to do this one alone but feel free to if you need some alone time! I want you to watch a good movie. Give your brain and your body a break for just a little bit. And pamper yourself with a favorite movie.
Grab a glass of some refreshing flavored water and unplug from the world for a few hours while you enjoy some fun entertainment. Your mind and body will thank you for the break. And don't feel guilty, you're worth more to yourself and your family when you are rested and relaxed!
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 1, 2020 15:53:01 GMT -5
Dear Friends, My only concern in the world is for you, your home and your family. I want you to realize that my mission in life is to help you find the peace that I have found. Without my routines, I would not be able to help you. I applaud those of you that have other missions; we all have to find our paths in life. My mission is to help you clear out the clutter so you will know what your mission is. We have seen this happen time and time again. But it doesn't happen over night! Despite the fact that we can crisis clean and the house will look presentable for company! Our attitudes are the peaceful deciding factor in our homes. Let's think about this for a minute. When we clean and feel that we are the only one who does anything, then we are playing the martyr. Regardless of the fact that the statement may be true, you have made yourself feel bad (pity-party again) and let's not forget about the deafening sounds of silence in your pout or even worse the loud yelling tones of disapproval toward your family and the screaming demands for someone to get off their backside and help you! Everyone will stay clear of you at this point! No wonder you don't have any help. No one wants to be around you! Now let's look at the reverse of this whiny attitude. When we quit nagging, pouting, yelling, screaming, and just go about our daily routines then the tone of your home and your voice begins to change. The yelling, screaming, nagging, and pouting have not worked to get any help around the house; then why not try something different. A change in attitude! You are responsible for the tone in your home. You can decide to be happy and it will happen. You can be and everyone will be , or you can be in a tizzy and the whole house will be turned upside down in a matter of a few minutes. You can be stressed and fearful, and your babies will know it. So will your critters. So why does it have to be your responsibility for the tone in your home. I don't rightly know, but as we say in the south, "If Mama ain't happy then nobody's happy." Maybe it is because we are the nurturers. I know when I am sick, I still want my Momma! We look to the female of our species to take care of us, whether we are 5 or 50. I didn't make the rules, but we are all called on to live by them whether we like it or not. Rebelling doesn't make us any happier. Besides what is wrong with being content. I am listening to a beautiful piece of music right now. My Sweet Darling put on a violin concerto by Mendelssohn. I asked him to tell me what he knew about the composer. He told me that his critics said his music had no conflict and resolution, that it was too sweet. Well to that I say what is wrong with sweet, does everything have to be conflicted and be fixed! I kind of like being satisfied, content, and things going along smoothly. Since having my routines and clutter out of my life along with my new attitude, I no longer live on Adrenalin. For years I was constantly putting out fires and running around with my head cut off. When you are tearing through life: you miss so much as well as being more accident prone because of your rushing. When are you going to slow down and let your routines put you on automatic pilot? It is such a blessing to flow through your day and not be feeding on the frenzy of CHAOS! You are going to be so surprised when your calm example entices your family to pitch in. I know you don't believe me, but it will happen if you will take our attitude adjusting essays to and let them turn your CHAOS into peace! Are you ready to FLY? FlyLady Tip of the Day: Set aside some time for you today. Your family will thank you because your patience will be replenished. Back to Basics Mission #13 What’s for Dinner Put something in your slow cooker so you don’t have to spend a lot of time in the kitchen today. I love to make comfort food on Sunday; a pot roast, spaghetti, a pot of chili. Get your dinner started and let the slow cooker do the work. Send an email to FlyLady@flylady.net with DINNER IS COOKING in the subject line. Back to Basics Mission #14 Take some time for you on Sunday. Sunday is our day to renew our spirit. This is all about lifting you up! Spend time in Church, prayer, meditation, listening to beautiful music, or taking a nap. Get some quiet time! Send an email to FlyLady@flylady.net with MOMMA IS HAPPY in the subject line.
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 1, 2020 18:10:30 GMT -5
Zone 5 The Living Room Zone 5: Mission #1 Monday Dear Friends, Let's have a Fire Drill! Go get the hotspots cleared off in your Living Room and or Family Room! You know the piles that I am talking about. The ones that just grow and grow!! Put that fire out!Take 10 minutes and put things away where they belong and toss the rest. Zone 5: Mission #2 Tuesday Dear Friends, Let's have a detailed vacuuming session. This means to vacuum the room, making sure to get up against the baseboards and to get under the furniture. Please be careful that you don't hurt yourself trying to move furniture. If it is too difficult to get under the couch or chairs then just try to get as close to the base of the furniture as you can. Zone 5: Mission #3 Wednesday Dear Friends, Today we are going after the hidden clutter in these rooms. Take a look around you and see what is laying around that is really clutter but because you have become so used to it being there you don't see it as clutter. Have you purged those magazines and books lately? How about the videos, dvd's and cd's? Are they strewn in piles all over because they belong in these rooms you don't see them anymore? Your mission for today is to set your timer for 15 minutes and go after the "hidden" clutter in these rooms. You will be amazed at how much neater the rooms look when you tackle this. Do not get obsessed and take apart the whole room. This is about progress NOT perfection. Just tackle one thing at a time! Zone 5: Mission #4 Thursday Dear Friends: Back to the Living Room we go! One of my favorite missions for the living room is to go sofa and chair diving! This is where we start digging through the furniture and pluck out the cheerios and old socks. I am always amazed at how much stuff I can pull out of the couch in just one short month! Zone 5: Mission #5 Friday Dear Friends: Today is the last day of the Living Room Zone. Your mission for today is to place something pretty in the room that is just for you. I am thinking of some lovely or a small bouquet that you can purchase for just a few dollars. Maybe you have a lovely arrangement or plant somewhere in your home that would be just perfect in your freshly decluttered living room!
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 2, 2020 22:24:30 GMT -5
We are the Queens of Procrastination, but I have a cure for this ailment. It is so simple but first let me tell you why we procrastinate. We tell ourselves that we don’t have time. There is something missing from this statement. The perfectionism rears its ugly head. What you are really saying is, “I don’t have time to do it right!”
Well I am living proof that when you eliminate perfectionism; you can accomplish anything. Perfectionism causes us to procrastinate. If, when you hear yourself say I don’t have time, you would stop! Recognize the perfectionism! Then set your timer for JUST 2 MINUTES!
As I am writing this essay I am using two minutes to write and two minutes to do something in the house.
Dishwasher unloaded
Now for two minutes of writing. I am going to decide on what to focus on next. I think floors are in my future. Our floors deal with dogs and cats. We live in the woods. I know that two minutes a day on floors can keep your floors from looking nasty.
Mop all my floors
I mopped every room in our home. Was it PERFECT! NO! Was it Done! YES! I did it fast. I feel that the two minutes is like working during the commercials on your favorite television show. Just imagine how much you can get done while you are up. Now think about getting your steps in while you get off your bottom. I have recently learned that I don't have to sweep before I mop with our chenille mop cloths.
Wet Mop my Living Room and Kitchen.
I took five minutes on this one because I was moving while the commercial was on TV. I mop like I used to mow in strips. It is fast and furious mopping. My mop is really wet with no chemicals. No streaks or dullness to my floors; I love my mop!
Reverse Scavenger Hunt.
I set my timer for two minutes and put away the mop and recycling in the kitchen. It was a speedy way to get things that don’t belong in the kitchen put where they belong. Clearing the countertops makes a room feel cozy. There is nothing to make you feel guilt. A true Reverse Scavenger Hunt takes an item from one room to the room it belongs in. Then grab something from that room and put it away in another room. Just imagine if everything that was sitting out on your flat surfaces was put away. Your home would look and feel beautiful.
Just sitting here and looking around I see several things that still need to be decluttered and put away. I think the next two minutes will be spent decluttering. We call this 27 Fling Boogie.
Two Minute Declutter Boogie
This hard to do when you have decluttered many items. All I found to get rid of was two cookie tins. I have spent most of the two minutes putting away items underneath my coffee table. It is my stash and dash place when I am traveling.
My challenge for you today is to take the 2 Minute Challenge. Monday is our day to do our Weekly Home Blessing. Why not try it while you Bless Your Home? We would love to hear what you accomplished. Send it to me; FlyLady@flylady.net with 2 Minute Challenge in the subject line. This is going to be fun!
You can do anything for 2 Minutes and then you get to go to the next thing on your list.
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 7, 2020 15:34:58 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Did you know that most FlyBabies are calendar challenged? It took me years and thousands of dollars to finally develop a system that worked for me. With every new system I tried to get my home organized, I would buy a planner in hopes that it would somehow miraculously fix me. Guess what, it doesn't happen!
Many calendars are developed by naturally born organized people. These folks automatically know how to use one. If they came with directions, we wouldn't use the instructions anyway. Our system is a bit different. We teach you routines that actually tell you to open up your calendar and check your appointments. This seems strange for born organized people. They have never needed to be reminded to check their calendar. In fact, they think something is wrong with us, because we need this kind of prompting. Let me tell you one little thing. We are every bit as smart as the next person; we just have a little different way of learning.
These things that come naturally to born organized people, we have to practice and develop into habits. It took me 30 years to learn how to use a calendar. As I started adding one habit at a time to my daily routines, the calendar became an integral part of my planning for the next day.
In order to know what clothes to lay out for the next day, I had to know what was on my schedule for tomorrow. So I would look at my calendar that I kept right beside my Control Journal.
Each week we check our schedules with our family members to determine our menus for the next week and prepare our grocery list. You can also use it on your desk day to plan for bill paying and sending birthday cards. Your calendar will become your life if you will use it in conjunction with your control journal to act as your memory so you don't have to try and juggle all the information in your head. Your children are watching you; have your main calendar for all to see.
These skills don't happen overnight. They take time to develop and implement. You can do this. Let me tell you, if I can do this after 30 years of being calendar challenged, you can too.
I want for you what I have and it is a peace that comes from not missing an appointment, paying my bills on time and knowing that I haven't forgotten some important date. You can have this too. Follow our directions and you will find yourself FLYing before you know it. Baby steps will get you there. I promise.
FlyLady
Tip of the Day: Use color codes for each member of your family. This way you can see your color from across a room. Add stickers to make your calendar fun.
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 14, 2020 13:54:37 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Paper clutter invades every area of our lives. One of the last places we conquer is the paper clutter in our cars. Sometimes it is so bad that we are too ashamed to let anyone ride with us.
Most of the clutter in our car is from things that we don't think we have time to deal with. You know the trash from the drive-thru, receipts from gas stations, and lots of school papers. As with everything we need a routine. It all starts with being in a hurry. Imagine that! We rush our lives away. We run late, get in the car and can't wait to get to where we are going. Then we are in another big hurry to get out of the car. That is when we leave everything in there. That is why our cars smell bad.
We try to cover up the smell with deodorizers, but nothing smells better than a clean car. When was the last time you cleaned out your car and gave it a good washing. It was probably before you had to go on a long car ride with your family. How long did it take you?
How can we keep our cars clean?
1. Friday is our day to clean out our cars.
2. Every time you fill up with gas. I like to fill up when I hit a half of tank of gas. I am always vigilant while I am pumping gas. I keep my keys in my hand and my car is locked.
3. After the gas is pumped; I take a minute to grab any trash and throw it away.
4. I take my time and use my purple rag and a rubba sweepa to clean my windshield and mirrors. I drive a truck and it is hard to reach the middle of my windshield.
5. I also keep a rubba scrubba to sweep off my floor mats.
6. Put a Post-It Note on your dashboard to remind you to throw away the trash and clean your car.
7. With your car clean; you can run though the car wash. I did that today when I filled up. You can also do a quick wash at home with MultiWand and a water hose.
8. Keep a trash bag in your car. Then you don't have any excuse to not keep your trash corralled.
9. When you get home; completely empty out your car. Everyone grabs something to take into the house.
10. Take your time getting out of the car. I always attach my keys to my purse and gather up my things.
11. It is OK to make a second trip to the car.
So you see keeping your car clean is easy when you slow down and take your time. When Friday rolls around it is your day to focus on your car. This will keep you safe!
Are you ready to FLY with a Clear Car Smile on your Face?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Feb 19, 2020 14:04:23 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
Whether we like it or not we are in the computer world. As we have found out the hard way when something goes wrong with our operating system, the data we put in does not come out with the result we expected.
Let's stop trying to figure out what caused the problem and let's concentrate on the facts. It takes time to replace an operating system. Right now we have to understand its idiosyncrasies and work around them.
The first little quirk that is in our operating system is if we put too much information in, it tends to shut down and stop working. In order to work around this, all we have to do is load one thing at a time. Doesn't that sound familiar? We get overwhelmed and nothing gets done! When we focus on one habit or one thing we can trick the operating system into getting something done.
This got me to thinking using reverse psychology on myself. Whenever I have a strong urge to do something, let's say eating chocolate cake. There is half of a chocolate cake in the kitchen. So instead of going into the kitchen to gobble down a plate full of cake, I decided to sidetrack myself.
My water bottle is full so I take a great big drink and head to the opposite end of the house to do something else for just three minutes. With a load of laundry in hand, I take it to the basement. Before I know it, that uncontrollable urge has been forgotten. This is the part of my operating system that I understand and have learned to use to my advantage. Gotta love those little quirks!
Sometimes our operating system can get us in big trouble. I am talking about our mouth and how fast we can fire off an email, instant message, text, Tweet or Facebook post. When we feel we have been wronged in some way, we are determined to defend ourselves and others. We feel like the protectors of all. This calls for some more sidetrackery! I love making up new words to describe our operating systems.
This is the hardest urge of all to fight and we can do it. When you feel that overwhelming response spilling out of your fingertips, grab a pen and paper and not your computer. Bite your tongue and go write. This is what we need when we are about to explode. Then you can vent without all the drama! I also keep hearing a cute song in my head by Carrie Newcomer, "Don't Push Send!" This stops me from hurting feelings and being rude.
Practicing doing just the opposite of what we really want to do can help us to change our operating system. This takes time and a lot of FLY Washing. We can do it. We have the ability to sidetrack ourselves just long enough to stop our quirky operating system from making our lives more chaotic.
When you hear yourself say I don't have time; set your timer for two minutes and do what you are making excuses not to do. Over the next forty day commit to reading one email a day. Set your timer and just do two minutes. You will be surprised at what can sink in.
Are you ready to download your new operating system? Finally Loving Yourself comes in babysteps that can give you the results you really want!
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 1, 2020 18:40:06 GMT -5
Zone 1: Mission #1 Monday Dear Friends:Today is the day that you will spend 15 minutes in the entrance way of your home. Grab all the mail, shoes and jackets and put them away! I am always so surprised at how much stuff seems to accumulate in that one area! This is one area that when you tackle it and you are finished that you feel such a huge accomplishment because it is what you see first as you come through the door! Zone 1: Mission #2 Tuesday Dear Friends, Let's have a Fire Drill on the flat surfaces of the dining room!Do you have a hotspot in there that is burning? Get out the trash bag and an empty laundry basket. Toss the trash and put the things that need to be put away in other rooms in the laundry basket. Once you have cleared the hotspots, deliver the other items to the proper rooms.This might take a little longer than 15 minutes if so than work for 15 minutes, take a break for 15 and go do another 15. Let's put out those fires! Zone 1: Mission #3 Wednesday Dear Friends, For today let's grab our feather dusters and dust off the leaves on our house plants and give them a drink of water. If you want bonus points you can pull of some of the dead leaves and blooms, you know....declutter the plants! If you don't have any live plants but have some artificial arrangements, dust those off and dump any loose leaves and petals. Zone 1: Mission #4 Thursday Dear Friends, Today is a choose your own mission day. Set your timer for 15 minutes and do something that needs to be done in the area of Zone 1. If you need to vacuum, dust or do a 27 fling, go for it! Take the time to just get something done! Remember, we do today what we can do and then a little more tomorrow. We are taking Babysteps together! Zone 1: Mission #5 Friday Dear Friends:We are in the home stretch of Zone 1 and today seems like a good day to pamper ourselves by taking a 15 minute break and enjoying a cup of or a tall glass of something cold. Read your favorite magazine, bible, or book and just take a time out just for you. Like I always say, if you don't take the time to take of you, who will?
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 3, 2020 17:32:59 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
In honor of the people we know who are moving soon; Let's play a game to help us declutter. We are going to pretend to move! Yes move from one house to another. This happens all the time and we get emails begging for this information. There is a section on our website and a whole chapter in my book Sink Reflections.
Moving Tips are on our Website
So you are moving!!! Don't let it scare you to death. It is just like any other project that we undertake and we won't need an undertaker when we are finished either. Decluttering can make your home feel like a new home! You can do this! One BabyStep at a time!
I have one rule to follow! If you don't love it; get rid of it. It can't come with you!
You can't afford to move it, especially if you are paying by the pound. This is exactly how you have to think about things with a big cross country move. I am going to be pretty tough here. All that really matters is that you have your family with you. Everything else you have in your home is just STUFF and can be replaced if need be. The thought of starting over is too much to consider sometimes, but right now in the world many people are doing just that with the clothes on their back: Fire, flood, divorce, death, or financial problems. You name it, this happens all the time. You have even done it. I have done it three times in my life. Guess what! It didn't kill me either! I had a choice, many people are not that blessed.
It is much easier to declutter when you are not forced into it by extenuating circumstances. This is why I have tried to teach you to do it in babysteps, so you don't even realize it is happening. Who on earth misses a grocery bag of clutter, when it leaves your home one bag a day! Imagine 365 of those bags tied up and piled in your living room floor. That is a lot of stuff. Now think about every time you come home from the store with more bags of stuff. No wonder we don't have a place for everything. The old stuff is taking over your home and the new stuff has no home. STUFF is everywhere!
When we have nothing, we want more stuff. We think that stuff will make us feel better. All stuff really does is give us a false sense of security. So we go out and spend more money to buy the stuff to fill up the hole that eats away at our soul. The more stuff we have the safer we feel. We fill our homes with more gadgets to make our life easier, when in the long run they take up space and don't really work that well. After a while of filling that hole with stuff; it begins to weigh you down. It keeps you from enjoying your home and your family. It keeps you from being light on your feet and before you know it, you are sinking into the pits of despair. The stuff you had really wanted is causing your health, family and home to pay the toll. Then we rent storage units to put all of the stuff that is over flowing from our homes. That costs us more money that we have to steal from our family: just to hold our stuff.
Just think back to a time when you were starting over. It has taken years to accumulate all the things that you have. I want you to look very closely at this stuff. How has it come into your lives? I'll bet that most of it has been given to you: Hand-me-downs, inherited from your parents. Then the rest has come from garage sales. How many of the items in your home have a special meaning? Do they tell a story that brings a smile to your face or does it make you feel bad when you look at it.
Our "poor me" attitude has caused us to be surrounded by so much STUFF! Do you know what the term STUFF stands for: Something That Undermines Family Fun! Think about the money that it takes to take care of your STUFF: store it, clean it, organize it, and move it. STUFF is clutter to me and clutter cannot be organized. Do you hear me! All you can do is get rid of it; One little bag at a time or one dumpster at a time. I don't care how you do it; it just has to be done to make room for you and your family and the love that you have for one another.
All any of us need in our lives are food, clothing, shelter and love! The comforts of home! Not a storage place for STUFF. Over the last several years, we have slowly decluttered our home. It is an on-going process! I mean this.
When we bring home a new item, an old one has to go. Now we only have items in our home that bring a smile to our face. Most of our belongings we have accumulated in the first couple years of our marriage; One item at a time. I was still in my "ole poor me" mode and we would buy pallet lots of stuff at estate auctions and come home and try to make a place for it all. It has taken me the many years to slowly get rid of other people's stuff from our home. Now we only have those special items that make us smile. Since I have quit buying just anything to fill a hole, I have found that I have more time and money for the necessitates of life; that is love!
Now back to the reason for this essay! Let's pretend we are moving. This means taking a long hard look at our stuff and deciding if we truly love it, use it regularly, or just think we need it. Now don't get all upset. Heirlooms are special, but if you keep them just "because" and you don't really love them, then they are taking the place of something that could really bring a smile to your face. I have heard of a sad story of a wealthy family that upon the death of the grandmother and during the funeral, one of the daughters had the horse hair sofas(all six of them) removed from the estate. They were supposed to be very special. As a result those sofas could never be gotten rid of by the only child of this greedy person. Those sofas were just clutter that could not be used and ended up in one room filled with more stuff. Upon his death, the stuff was all auctioned off. How sad to be saddled with someone else's prizes and never really have anything of your own.
I want for you what I have; Peace and this peace came from letting go of bad memories and everything that did not bring a smile to my face. Let go and live a life that is filled with love!
Are you ready to FLY? FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 12, 2020 11:28:10 GMT -5
Dear Friends, This morning as I lay in bed after I woke up, I found myself making a list of why our home feels beautiful. I asked myself this question. What are the things that make our home feel beautiful? The first thing that came to mind was that I always know where my keys are! That may seem strange to some people but searching for your keys to leave is very stressful when you are in a hurry. I hate walking down to my car and having to come back to the house to get the keys. My keys now have a home and they are not hiding in the refrigerator or a drawer. The last time I lost my keys they were in my Ziplock bag drawer because I needed to take one with me. At least they are much easier to find because they are on a lanyard. I keep my keys on a hook with my sunglasses and my little purse. Everything has a place and everything in its place. My keys are not lost in the bottom of a huge purse and even when I use my large bag for travel, the lanyard helps me to put my hand on them without having to get out a flashlight. The next feature that makes my sing is the fact that I can open my door to anyone at any time. Our home is not an embarrassment. There may be a few puppy toe prints on the floor and nose prints on the doors but with only a few minutes they are gone. Our home blesses us because I have used my routines to keep it company ready; the best part is that we are the company. We love being home and we also love entertaining on the FLY. It doesn't have to be perfect and I didn't have to spend days getting ready to have friends over. The stress is gone! Another blessing that adds to the feeling of our beautiful home is the simple fact that my kitchen sink is shining. That shining sink gave me hope when I first decided to get organized. I never dreamed that it would free me from the guilt of a messy kitchen and a chaotic home. That shiny sink started my day with a smile. I was not behind! I no longer dreaded cooking because the dishes were put away and the counters were clear. It is the simple things that make you smile especially when you have lived with mystery water and dirty dishes your whole life. As I look back at what has contributed to that beautiful feeling of clean in our home it has more to do with me not being all stressed out! When I can accomplish my routines and feel ahead then the stress and anxiety leave my body. I feel that I have more time in my day to do what God put me on the Earth to do! After all, if Momma ain't happy then ain't nobody happy! Those words, "I don't have time" never cross my lips! Now I can enjoy our home and can bless others because I do have time! A few simple habits can make all the difference in the way your home feels. Are you ready to FLY? FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 22, 2020 11:46:19 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
How many fights have you had because of the chaos in your home. I don't care about whose responsibility it was to clean it or who collected all the clutter. The bottom line is clutter and chaos cause unrest in your home. This is one of the main reasons that I want you to grab this bull by the horns and toss the clutter outside your door. I want this pain and strife to end in your life and for you to find the peace that I have promised. I also want you to quit beating yourself up over not having the perfect marriage or home. There are times when it is not your fault. Now listen to me very closely.
I was raised in a church that believed that it was an unforgivable sin to divorce and regardless of the biblical reasons for divorce, I would never be able to remarry. So I went into my first marriage vowing to never divorce. My determination to stick it out to the end almost resulted in my death. The difficulties in that marriage I blamed all on me, because of my lack of house keeping skills.
It was only after I found Pam and Peggy that I began to actually see the forest for what it really was. I had been stumbling blindly through this marriage thinking that every problem that arose was a result of my mess. Then Pam and Peggy showed me the light. I started to use their system and my home came together. The most interesting part in finding this system was after my house was clean and orderly, I still had problems in my marriage.
This is the part I want you to hear. Your self-blame and the conflicts hide the real problem. I have told you many times, that I want you to clean the house for you, not for your husband or your children, but for you and your joy. When you get your home in order, you will be better able to see the problems, because you will no longer have the clutter to cloud your eyes from the truth.
This is exactly what happened to me in my first marriage. He was not a happy person. I thought that I could make him happy "if only" I did this or that. The truth was I couldn't do anything to change his personality. He was just a grim person who liked making others feel bad. It was only after our home was clean and orderly that I could see that I didn't make him that way. It didn't matter whether our home was clean and tidy; he was going to find something wrong and did. Let me warn you that after the house had no problems, he had to start attacking me to find ways to hurt me. The abuse got worse. This is all because the clutter was a camouflage for the real problems. It was much easier to fight over the hot spots or undone laundry than to tackle the problem of no love in a marriage.
This is a very tough issue and we have been sidestepping it for a long time. One of our members sent me a testimonial that thanks us for helping her to find the real problems in her marriage. After the clutter was gone, the main problem could be seen. I want for you what I have peace. It came with getting rid of my clutter, so that I could see the true me and FLY. Sometimes we have to FLY Solo for a while. Now I am not advocating divorce. I just want you to get your home clean so that you can address the real problems and not stick your head in the sand and blame yourself.
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 26, 2020 11:56:39 GMT -5
Dear Friends,
I know that you have spent several years, feeling over-worked and frazzled. Most of the time after a tiring day of running around with your head cut off, you can see absolute nothing you have accomplished. I know just how tired you feel. Your day has been spent running around putting out one fire and then the next. Oh and we are so good at dealing with crisis situations. In fact we pride ourselves for being so good under pressure.
We have all seen the juggler that can keep several plates spinning on a several poles at one time. Do you feel like this person most of the time? Running every which way, being forced to jump to keep the plate from hitting the ground.
What happens if you stop? You think you would have a lot of broken plates. I have a little secret. We don't let the plates fall off the poles, we grab them in full spin and set them on the counter.
I know your frustration. Running around putting out fires is not very productive work. Guess why? You are letting the problems set your schedule for the day. We are giving you to tools for you to address these spinning plates once and for all time. The stress level that you have put yourself under is not good for your health or your family.
Each time you are in the midst of spinning those plates, think about why you are forced to juggle them.
1. You didn't pay a bill on time. So you are running around trying to get it paid before the electric company turns off your power, or the phone company shuts down your service. You have the money in the bank, but you just forgot to pay the bill? Not having the money is another problem, and believe it or not this system will help you with that too.
2. It is 6:00pm and you have no clue what's for supper. Your children are hungry, so you pile everyone in the car and go for fast food. The guilt levels are rising and money is being spent on food that is not that good for your body. No wonder you can't lose weight or there is no money to pay the bills.
3. Getting yourself dressed and the family dressed is a pain, because you don't have clean clothes. They are sitting in the dryer and were not quite dry when the dryer stopped and they have soured. Or they are wadded up in the laundry basket and not fittin' to wear because of all the wrinkles. Or even worse they are in piles all over the house and have never been washed to start with. You know that sick feeling when your child needs their baseball uniform and it has been at the bottom of the laundry pile, because it just slipped your mind. There were just too many loads to do, so you became overwhelmed and stayed on the computer too long, so you didn't have to think about it. Guess what. Out of sight, out of mind, does not work for this problem.
4. You need to leave the house for an appointment and you can't find your car keys. Don't you just hate that helpless feeling and the more you search, the later you become and the more stressed you feel. That doesn't even begin to address the fact that you were running late to begin with, because you were having a hard time finding something to wear. Do you see the vicious cycle of spinning plates? One is just about to hit the floor.
Do you want out of this frantic juggling circus act?
Here are the steps?
Listen to us and start by establishing small routines for your morning and evening. Oh and put on your lace up shoes!
As part of your routines, we ask you to think about your day, think about tomorrow and think about next week. This simple act, called planning is going to help you quit spinning your plates. No longer will you be stomping out fires or trying to keep the plates from hitting the floor, you will be in control of your schedule. As you stop the plates from spinning you will find more time for the important things in life. The daily maintenance of your home and yourself becomes automatic.
This will not happen over night. This is why we teach you to establish one habit at a time. As each new habit becomes part of your routine, you are taking that plate off the pole and putting it in the cupboard. Eventually you will be in total control and only have one plate to spin on rare occasions. You will find that this peace is contagious. The more you implement your routines, the easier it is to add new, habits.
This is behavior modification. You are going to have to wean yourself off of the adrenaline rush that you have been getting from the CHAOS. So the next time you feel yourself spinning plates, take 5 minutes and look at what caused this circus act. I'll bet it can be traced to something you refused to do or didn't even think about until it was too late.
Are you ready to FLY without spinning Plates,
FlyLady
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Post by SAR01 on Mar 28, 2020 19:56:17 GMT -5
March Zone 5 Living Room and April Zone 1 Entrance, Front Porch, and Dining Room Zone 5: Mission #1 Monday Dear Friends: Today is our first day in the Living Room! This will be a short zone. Let's have a detailed vacuuming session. This means to vacuum the room, making sure to get up against the baseboards and to get under the furniture. Please be careful that you don't hurt yourself trying to move furniture. If it is too difficult to get under the couch or chairs then just try to get as close to the base of the furniture as you can. Zone 5: Mission #2 Tuesday Dear Friends:It is our last day in the Living Room! Lets take 10 minutes to blast through any hotspots that are hanging around. Get that stuff tossed out or put away! If ten minutes is not enough, you van go for round two if you would like to and you have the time! Don't get sidetracked or obsesses, we are taking babysteps! Zone 1: Mission #1 Wednesday Dear Friends:It is April 1 and we are starting over in the Zones!Zone 1 is the Front Porch, the Entrance Way and the Dining Room.For today we are going to welcome in the spring and sweep our front porches, shake out our welcome mats and wipe down the front doors. These are small little things to do that make our homes inviting to us!! I know it sounds very simple and this is a repeated mission, but it is so true that it makes a huge difference.Have fun! Enjoy the day! Don't obsess just have some fun! Zone 1: Mission #2 Thursday Dear Friends, Today, let's sparkle up the Dining Room Table and Chairs. If you don't have a Dining Room set, no problem, do this mission on the kitchen table.Set your timer for 15 minutes. Wipe down the tops, the edges, and the legs on your Dining Room Table. Give the chairs a wipe too. Don't ask us about cleaning chemicals , use whatever cleaning and polishing supplies you normally use for your furniture.When you are done, put on a pretty table cloth, from the garden, or some pretty candles. Your table will look lovely! Zone 1: Mission #3 Friday Dear Friends: We are heading into the Entrance area of your home today. Let's grab all those shoes, books and jackets that seem to pile up right by the front door and put them away. I Would like you to all take this time to wipe down your door knobs and light switches, don't forget to wipe the house phone or your cell phone!
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